Kirsti: SURPRISE!!!! Lor didn't get the chance to watch today's episode of Angel before she flew out to California to hang out with Sweeney and DAMMIT WHY AM I ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. Anyway, Lor and I have done a swap, so you're stuck with me today. Which is absolutely fine by me, because today's episode has a spectacular guest star.
Sweeney: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lorraine: Seriously, thank you for doing this so Sweeney and I could hang out on the right side of the world. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Sweeney: The episode begins with Angel begging the Oracles for the thing we all want: UNDO IT. TAKE IT BACK. The Oracles give no shits, though, and tell him not to be so selfish. Obnoxious. Angel points out that Doyle was PTB(C)'s messenger to them, so he should come back with his visions. The Oracles are already walking away, though, because they don't care and this will work itself out. BYE. Then we see a demon running down an alley. Roll credits, WHICH STILL INCLUDE GLENN QUINN AND MY CORRESPONDING TEARS.
Kirsti: Oh, Whedon. You really do like to deliver us ALL THE FEELS at once, don't you? Sigh.
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
The moody music starts right away as Angel winds a clock and tests the levelness of his desk. Cordelia and Doyle enter. She gives us the exposition: Angel was in Sunnydale for three days and saw Buffy! Why isn't he brooding more? Cordy's guess is that his lack of brooding actually means that he's brooding more than usual. Cordy sees him take out a stake from his desk, assumes the worst, and rushes into the office telling him it's not worth it! He will meet someone else! Angel explains he just needs the stake to level his desk, which just seems like the most inefficient way to level anything. He is going to trip over that stake. For sure.
Sweeney: It's round! That doesn't even make sense!
Sweeney: It's round! That doesn't even make sense!
Sweeney: Angel is reading and Doyle is pestering him. I hate when people try to talk to me when I'm reading. LISTEN, I AM PERFECTLY CONTENT TO SPEND MY NIGHT READING AND I'D BE A LOT MORE CONTENT IF YOU'D SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. Sorry. Pet peeve.
Lorraine: GOD YES. I'm not sitting here with a book open waiting for anyone to come talk to me. I'M READING.
K: SERIOUSLY. Why do people do this?
Lorraine: GOD YES. I'm not sitting here with a book open waiting for anyone to come talk to me. I'M READING.
K: SERIOUSLY. Why do people do this?
K: We open in an alley. A bag drops into frame, followed by a man. He starts to walk away, but there's a short blonde woman standing the shadows. He runs, and she chases him down, eventually delivering a spectacular fly kick when he tries to get in a car. The camera pans out, and the woman is Kate. She roughs him up a little and then arrests him. Cut to the police station. Kate's trying to get Crook Man to spill the beans on where a certain Mob boss type is, but he's not spilling. Eventually she snaps and pins him against the wall with an arm across his throat.
S: A commenter pointed out that Kate is sort of a Buffy-like placeholder.
S: A commenter pointed out that Kate is sort of a Buffy-like placeholder.
Lorraine: Cordelia is giving Doyle a little taste of her audition for a commercial. She does as well as you would imagine. The phone rings and he wonders if she's going to pick that up, and Angel wanders in to wonder the same thing. Angel as a boss makes me giggle.
Sweeney: It doesn't suit him particularly well....
K: Truth. Also, the idea of Cordy starring in an advert for garbage bags is rather hilarious.
Lor: Cordelia scurries over, but by that point, the answering machine has it. It's someone named Aura who's calling to check in on Cordy.
Sweeney: It doesn't suit him particularly well....
K: Truth. Also, the idea of Cordy starring in an advert for garbage bags is rather hilarious.
Lor: Cordelia scurries over, but by that point, the answering machine has it. It's someone named Aura who's calling to check in on Cordy.
Sweeney: The episode starts with Cordelia lamenting all the bills associated with running their business, which is a problem, since Angel isn't really big on collecting payment, as it interferes with being the hero. Doyle agrees that money would be good, but mostly because Cordelia thinks so.
Kirsti: Aww. Bless.
Lorraine: Doyle is hitting on Cordelia in this scene big time, but I spend most of it noticing his beautiful eyes. He looks yummy here. Okay, carry on.
Kirsti: Aww. Bless.
Lorraine: Doyle is hitting on Cordelia in this scene big time, but I spend most of it noticing his beautiful eyes. He looks yummy here. Okay, carry on.
We open with a hippy looking girl running down a dark alley. She hides in a doorway, then peeks out. When no one's there, she tries to run for it, but the guy she's running from is behind her. He's kinda insane and sweaty - the best kind of boyfriend, right? WRONG. He hits her and then pulls a gun. He's about to pull the trigger when Angel appears out of nowhere and grabs his arm. They fight briefly, and Angel knocks the guy out. He asks the girl if she's okay, and we learn that she hired him to help before the camera pans to a nearby rooftop. Spike's there, and I'm going to give you his full impersonation because it's AWESOME:
Lorraine: Angel is sitting in the dark, because darkness helps concentrate the brood. Doyle turns on the lights and says it's Friday night and Angel should really out.
K: This sounds very much like something my mother would do to me. Except I'm not brooding in the dark. I'm just allergic to leaving the house.
Lor: He suggests drinks to toast the new business. Angel catches his drift and suggests that if Doyle wants to go out with Cordelia, he ask her out himself.
Enter Cordelia with "calling cards." I'm not sure why we're calling them that and not business cards. They have moment a of confusion about the Microsoft Clip-Art looking graphic on the front of it.
K: This sounds very much like something my mother would do to me. Except I'm not brooding in the dark. I'm just allergic to leaving the house.
Lor: He suggests drinks to toast the new business. Angel catches his drift and suggests that if Doyle wants to go out with Cordelia, he ask her out himself.
Enter Cordelia with "calling cards." I'm not sure why we're calling them that and not business cards. They have moment a of confusion about the Microsoft Clip-Art looking graphic on the front of it.
The title is reassuring me a teeny tiny bit, as the LA girl of the batch. I'm going to give you guys the oh-so-hilarious Snark Squad speech about how we really planned to keep this short. I laugh preemptively, because I have to start this and my Twitter bio is about how I am an uncontrollable rambler. I drank a bit to prepare myself. I am also terrified to start this series because I am a one-sided Buffy/Angel shipper in that I am cool with Buffy moving on and having a life BUT ANGEL MUST LOVE HER FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL HE BROODS TO DEATH. I'm also preemptively confused as to how they're going to give him romantic subplots, because of the whole orgasm happiness = no-soul thing. I'm curious to see how we contrive our way around this.