We start zoomed in on a bundle of newspapers with the headline, "Crime Wave Shuts Down City." I'm not sure why no one is helping this city, but okay. City Shut Down. Connor grabs the bundle and uses it to hit a vampire he's fighting. It's actually a group of vampires and more keep appearing. He dusts a few of them with a, "Welcome to LA," though he doesn't add the obligatory, "bitch," that I feel belongs there.
Sweeney: Bad form, Connor.
Lor: Connor looks up and there are lots more vampires coming at him from both sides.
Random people in Los Angeles (a father and child, a postalworker, YOU, DEAR EVERYMAN VIEWER!) are watching the news or the sky in shock and horror about the "localized abnormality" that is the blotted out sun. It's funny, particularly for us joint-watchers, to have them address this, "No, the sun's not gone in Sunnydale, because of reasons! Don't worry about it." Also, the news is being reported by KTLA5 and I always get a little giddy about that, because that was the nightly local news I watched. Or, like, kept on in the background because I didn't feel like turning the TV off while I played Roller Coaster Tycoon.
Lorraine: People throwing up on my clean sidewalks used to carry over into my dreams. Man, I loved that game.
Lorraine: People throwing up on my clean sidewalks used to carry over into my dreams. Man, I loved that game.
After the previouslies make me reach for the brain bleach again, we're in Angel's room where he's sketching The Beast. (Welcome back, Angel/art OTP!) Lorne walks in with a glass of blood and Angel basically tells him to get out. Lorne says that he's done with the game playing, and Angel's all "What game playing?" Lorne adopts a moody teenager voice to say "Don't interrupt me, I'm brooding," which is quite possibly the greatest thing to ever happen in this show.
Angel claims to be researching rather than brooding, but Lorne's not buying it because everyone else is researching downstairs as a team, not alone in their mopeyness. Angel says that he works better alone, and Lorne retorts that it's not all about him and that champions (SHOTS!!) don't get to take personal days.
Angel claims to be researching rather than brooding, but Lorne's not buying it because everyone else is researching downstairs as a team, not alone in their mopeyness. Angel says that he works better alone, and Lorne retorts that it's not all about him and that champions (SHOTS!!) don't get to take personal days.
It's still raining hell fire. Angel turns away from where he's been watching Cordy and Connor... You know. He takes out his legit anger out on a nearby door. There is lots of off screen angry grunting and punching.
Sweeney: This is our way of letting you know that you missed nothing when you were leaning over dry heaving.
Kirsti: Seriously, all you missed was a dude in need of anger management therapy.
Sweeney: This is our way of letting you know that you missed nothing when you were leaning over dry heaving.
Kirsti: Seriously, all you missed was a dude in need of anger management therapy.
This post is obviously incredibly late. It is mostly late because I've been enjoying some much-needed family time. (Also, feeling incredibly old because I feel like family time is a lot more exhausting than it used to be.) The other reason this post is late is that everyone would not stop going on about how painful this episode is. Half a dozen people discussed the necessity of brain bleach for this particular episode. I had the choice of stuffing my face with cookies until I passed out in a painful-but-glorious food coma or watching the ZOMG BRAIN BLEACH 5EVA episode; I stand by my choices. In spite of our many drinking games, I can't actually write a recap while shitfaced. It doesn't work out well for anyone.
That was my long-winded introduction to say that even though I haven't seen the episode yet, I already know it's rated BB.
That was my long-winded introduction to say that even though I haven't seen the episode yet, I already know it's rated BB.
I brought up my recapping method in today's Buffy post. For Angel, it's become a different thing. Namely, I have to power through the episode in a sitting and then come back and recap from memory/skipping around Netflix/transcripts/notes. It's the only way.
That said, I'd be a terrible Internet friend if I didn't tell you that about 5 minutes of this episode is rated BB for [FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE STOCK UP ON THE] Brain Bleach.
Sweeney: I can't believe we didn't make this rating sooner, really:
That said, I'd be a terrible Internet friend if I didn't tell you that about 5 minutes of this episode is rated BB for [FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE STOCK UP ON THE] Brain Bleach.
Sweeney: I can't believe we didn't make this rating sooner, really:
First: I flailed a little over this episode being named after one of my favorite poems. Fun! (Weeeeee apocalyptic poetry!) When the show begins, a man is trying to jump start his family vehicle in a shady area that he shouldn't have been in to begin with. Connor appears to be his horrifyingly I'm-going-to-wear-your-skin self, and the dad clearly wants Connor to get gone because they already called for help. Said help arrives and is, of course, a vampire towing company. IDK. Sure. Connor reappears and stakes them.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
We open in the bad part of town. You can tell because there's a smashed up car covered in graffiti in the foreground. A dude bursts through a door and runs into the street only to be confronted by Connor. Random dude wants to know what Connor is because nothing human can move that quickly. Connor knows exactly what random dude is though - a vampire. He taunts him as they start fighting. Up on a nearby rooftop, Angel is backseat fighting, being all "No, don't do that!" and "Atta boy."
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
We find ourselves in Gills Rock, Wisconsin on October 28, 1985. There's an 80's wash on this scene. That is to say it's soft and light jean. Something like that. (S: A+)
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
We begin with something that is obviously some sort of dream sequence because everything is so happy and good and not broken but I don't even care, I'm fucking enjoying it. The whole Fang Gang, plus Connor, are sitting at a fancy table in the Hyperion lobby eating what appears to be Thanksgiving dinner and they're all laughing and happy and toasting to family and Wesley is there and Cordelia's hair isn't too awful and THEN THAT'S THE EPISODE! THE END! THANKS FOR COMING.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.