It's still raining hell fire. Angel turns away from where he's been watching Cordy and Connor... You know. He takes out his legit anger out on a nearby door. There is lots of off screen angry grunting and punching.
Sweeney: This is our way of letting you know that you missed nothing when you were leaning over dry heaving.
Kirsti: Seriously, all you missed was a dude in need of anger management therapy.
This post is obviously incredibly late. It is mostly late because I've been enjoying some much-needed family time. (Also, feeling incredibly old because I feel like family time is a lot more exhausting than it used to be.) The other reason this post is late is that everyone would not stop going on about how painful this episode is. Half a dozen people discussed the necessity of brain bleach for this particular episode. I had the choice of stuffing my face with cookies until I passed out in a painful-but-glorious food coma or watching the ZOMG BRAIN BLEACH 5EVA episode; I stand by my choices. In spite of our many drinking games, I can't actually write a recap while shitfaced. It doesn't work out well for anyone.
That was my long-winded introduction to say that even though I haven't seen the episode yet, I already know it's rated BB.
That was my long-winded introduction to say that even though I haven't seen the episode yet, I already know it's rated BB.
We start with Lorne sitting in a club singing "The Way We Were." He starts monologuing to the audience about how everyone wants to get their youth back but they all forget how fucked up it is. He starts to tell a story, and says that it starts with a kid. That sends us into a seizure cut sequence of Connor angrily walking down the street while flashbacking to kissing Cordy. Hey Lor? Was there any brain bleach left from last time?
Lorraine: I've got an industrial order in. We'll make sure to always have a bottle or 5 at the Table of Ugh.
K: EXCELLENT. Anyway, Lorne changes his mind and says that the story really starts with Cordy's question to Angel at the end of the last episode - "Were we in love?" We cut over to them. Angel dithers a response, and Cordy gets about as pissed as I imagine Lor and Sweeney were during this moment.
Lorraine: I've got an industrial order in. We'll make sure to always have a bottle or 5 at the Table of Ugh.
K: EXCELLENT. Anyway, Lorne changes his mind and says that the story really starts with Cordy's question to Angel at the end of the last episode - "Were we in love?" We cut over to them. Angel dithers a response, and Cordy gets about as pissed as I imagine Lor and Sweeney were during this moment.
I brought up my recapping method in today's Buffy post. For Angel, it's become a different thing. Namely, I have to power through the episode in a sitting and then come back and recap from memory/skipping around Netflix/transcripts/notes. It's the only way.
That said, I'd be a terrible Internet friend if I didn't tell you that about 5 minutes of this episode is rated BB for [FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE STOCK UP ON THE] Brain Bleach.
Sweeney: I can't believe we didn't make this rating sooner, really:
That said, I'd be a terrible Internet friend if I didn't tell you that about 5 minutes of this episode is rated BB for [FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE STOCK UP ON THE] Brain Bleach.
Sweeney: I can't believe we didn't make this rating sooner, really:
First: I flailed a little over this episode being named after one of my favorite poems. Fun! (Weeeeee apocalyptic poetry!) When the show begins, a man is trying to jump start his family vehicle in a shady area that he shouldn't have been in to begin with. Connor appears to be his horrifyingly I'm-going-to-wear-your-skin self, and the dad clearly wants Connor to get gone because they already called for help. Said help arrives and is, of course, a vampire towing company. IDK. Sure. Connor reappears and stakes them.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
We open in the bad part of town. You can tell because there's a smashed up car covered in graffiti in the foreground. A dude bursts through a door and runs into the street only to be confronted by Connor. Random dude wants to know what Connor is because nothing human can move that quickly. Connor knows exactly what random dude is though - a vampire. He taunts him as they start fighting. Up on a nearby rooftop, Angel is backseat fighting, being all "No, don't do that!" and "Atta boy."
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
We find ourselves in Gills Rock, Wisconsin on October 28, 1985. There's an 80's wash on this scene. That is to say it's soft and light jean. Something like that. (S: A+)
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
We begin with something that is obviously some sort of dream sequence because everything is so happy and good and not broken but I don't even care, I'm fucking enjoying it. The whole Fang Gang, plus Connor, are sitting at a fancy table in the Hyperion lobby eating what appears to be Thanksgiving dinner and they're all laughing and happy and toasting to family and Wesley is there and Cordelia's hair isn't too awful and THEN THAT'S THE EPISODE! THE END! THANKS FOR COMING.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.
Sweeney: This show. I’m not sure how I feel about this show. It has all these amazing characters, but they seem to outshine the show itself. I don’t know what to...
We open with Groo walking into the Hyperion carrying a tray of glasses filled with...IDK, muddy water? He looks across the lobby to see Cordy standing in the office and I REALLY can't get over how ugly her hair is. He heads into the office, and Cordy's all "WTF is that drink?" He says that it's a soothing brew to help her chill out. She says that it looks like muddy water, and he's all "CORRECT!" Lor, does this make me a Snark Prophet?
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
Lorraine: Half of one, because I'm pretty sure you've seen this episode before. I love you.
K: I barely remembered the plot, let alone the tiny details!
Do you have any idea how many times my fingers inadvertently wrote "Benedict Cumberbatch" while trying to write the name of this episode? (It was two. Which was still two too many, really.)
ANYWAY. We start in the lobby of the Hyperion, immediately after the end of the last episode. Fred says that Angel's still not answering his phone, and the Fang Gang debate whether they should go out looking for him. They're saved the trouble though when Angel walks in the door, limping on account of all the bullet wounds. The gang help him to a chair, and ask if Connor's responsible for his injuries. He informs them that Connor's name is Steven now, and that no, he wasn't responsible for the injuries. Fred asks where he is, and Angel's all "*shrug* He'll find me if he needs me." The gang are all "Um, wow. Way to parent," but Angel is familiar with the ways of Traumaland and knows that neglect is the best medicine.
ANYWAY. We start in the lobby of the Hyperion, immediately after the end of the last episode. Fred says that Angel's still not answering his phone, and the Fang Gang debate whether they should go out looking for him. They're saved the trouble though when Angel walks in the door, limping on account of all the bullet wounds. The gang help him to a chair, and ask if Connor's responsible for his injuries. He informs them that Connor's name is Steven now, and that no, he wasn't responsible for the injuries. Fred asks where he is, and Angel's all "*shrug* He'll find me if he needs me." The gang are all "Um, wow. Way to parent," but Angel is familiar with the ways of Traumaland and knows that neglect is the best medicine.
We slow motion zoom in on Angel, who looks like he's trying very hard to emote, which means you know shit is going down; this episode starts one second after Connor has reappeared. The camera pans to the right and Groo jumps into action, swinging his battle axe, also in slow-mo. We keep spinning and land back on Connor in the background, as in the foreground, Angel yells for everyone to wait.
Kirsti: I think the slow motion yelling was my favourite on account of how spectacularly awful it was.
Kirsti: I think the slow motion yelling was my favourite on account of how spectacularly awful it was.
The episode starts with a lot of shots of Los Angeles before taking us back to Brooding Hotel, where the gang is patching up the earthquake damaged hotel and Groo is pleading with Angel to heed his advice...on the new color selection. I won't lie, I'm kind of a fan of Groo. Not in the sense that I actually care a great deal what happens to him, but he's kind of precious and amusing.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
We open at the Hyperion. Gunn and Fred are going through files, and it's awkward because there are a bunch that Wes was meant to be taking care of, but not so much any more. Lorne walks in, and asks how they're going before saying that it's important to keep busy and throw yourself into your work at times like these. He looks pointedly at the stairs as he says this. Fred reminds him that Angel's lost the only child he'll ever have, and Lorne says that he knows, but wishes Angel would talk to them.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
Angel stands in his fire and earthquake destroyed room, staring at the charred and empty crib. We zoom in on his hurt face, which a lot of you seem to have very little sympathy for. You Heartless Cows can pretend he's thinking about how to get rid of smoke damage.
Cut to Wesley's apartment. Fred is sadly listening to several messages she left for Wesley. He has not been home. She's having a hard time accepting that he would kidnap Connor. Gunn is more on team, "well. It happened." They both know that if Angel reaches Wesley first, he's a dead man. Fred wants to stay in the apartment in case Wesley comes back, but Gunn doesn't think Wes is coming back. His toothbrush, razor and gun are gone, aka the essentials. I'm not sure what you would need to find gone from my house to assume I was gone forever. All my nail polishes and books probably wouldn't be conducive to running away, you know?
Cut to Wesley's apartment. Fred is sadly listening to several messages she left for Wesley. He has not been home. She's having a hard time accepting that he would kidnap Connor. Gunn is more on team, "well. It happened." They both know that if Angel reaches Wesley first, he's a dead man. Fred wants to stay in the apartment in case Wesley comes back, but Gunn doesn't think Wes is coming back. His toothbrush, razor and gun are gone, aka the essentials. I'm not sure what you would need to find gone from my house to assume I was gone forever. All my nail polishes and books probably wouldn't be conducive to running away, you know?