Previously: Singing, sirens, and a possessed professor. — You’re Dead to Me Marines: It’s been a while so the previouslies were very much needed. Thankfully, they remind us that Macy found...
The Evil Internal Affairs Officer we're supposed to suddenly care about in the season finale is going through pictures of the Halliwell sisters. Every time he flips to another picture the music goes DUN. Sparks fly out of his fireplace and materialize into a hooded figure. Evil IA drops to a knee and greets "Tempus." There was a bad guy on Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman named Tempus. I'd rather be watching that.
Tempus tells Evil IA that he was sent as a gift, as he dramatically removes his hood. Evil IA says he doesn't need help defeating the Charmed Ones. Tempus is all, "PFFT," on account of how the girls have defeated so many bad guys this season with their spectacular squinting, reciting, rushing around and dumb luck.
Tempus tells Evil IA that he was sent as a gift, as he dramatically removes his hood. Evil IA says he doesn't need help defeating the Charmed Ones. Tempus is all, "PFFT," on account of how the girls have defeated so many bad guys this season with their spectacular squinting, reciting, rushing around and dumb luck.
Are we done with season 1 yet? Almost? Cool.
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
Halliwell Manor. Piper and Prue rush around trying to locate things like lip gloss and a plane ticket-- things that Phoebe has all arranged in front of her, perched up on a table in the hall. She grabs each item and concentrates. When she does this with the ticket, she has a premonition of Piper watching a plane take off. If that's SFO, I'd really love to know how she knew from outside that one of the planes taking off was hers.
Phoebe snaps out of it and her sisters discover that she has the very items they are looking for. She tells them the wonderful news that she was trying to have a premonition on command and it worked.
Phoebe snaps out of it and her sisters discover that she has the very items they are looking for. She tells them the wonderful news that she was trying to have a premonition on command and it worked.
Park. A birthday party is happening and the P's are either in attendance or hanging out awkwardly close. Phoebe is pushing Piper about her relationship again because Josh wants to have "the talk." It's been three whole dates without sex, so Phoebe thinks "the talk" can only be about one thing. Problem is that apparently sex = being a couple, and Piper isn't ready for that. Especially since Leo was the last person she slept with and he ran off.
Birthday Boy and Birthday Mom come over to check on the progress of the cake so, yes, the P's are invited guests. Birthday Mom thanks Piper for providing the party food and they all sit around having good feelings about food and small children.
Birthday Boy and Birthday Mom come over to check on the progress of the cake so, yes, the P's are invited guests. Birthday Mom thanks Piper for providing the party food and they all sit around having good feelings about food and small children.
CRAZY MONTH HAS BEEN CRAZY. But short recap is short, so short apology: sorry. I'm going to get some help with these posts but first, I have to make it out of season 1. Here we go:
We start at a church where a man is telling a priest that he's hearing voices in his head telling him he's a fraud who can't fool God. The Priest tries to comfort him, but Brendan has got an evil family and thinks evil is in his blood. Evil strolls up into the church in the form of two family members. They say they'll be waiting outside for him, so I hope this church has a back door, or something.
We start at a church where a man is telling a priest that he's hearing voices in his head telling him he's a fraud who can't fool God. The Priest tries to comfort him, but Brendan has got an evil family and thinks evil is in his blood. Evil strolls up into the church in the form of two family members. They say they'll be waiting outside for him, so I hope this church has a back door, or something.
Prue and Phoebe are going through old pictures and Phoebe is complaining about a lack of HER in all of them. Prue finds a couple of Baby Phoebe, including one with their mom. Phoebe catches some feels but before they can explore them too much, Piper rushes in looking for pen and paper. There's a knock on the door and on the way there, Piper exposits to her sisters that every year this man shows up on the same day with flowers for their grandmother from a secret admirer, when clearly he's the admirer.
Piper opens the door and it's Blatant Admirer with flowers for "Penny Halliwell."
Piper opens the door and it's Blatant Admirer with flowers for "Penny Halliwell."
Announcement: Despite my recent Twitter crusade to support her and get her some respectable trashy drama work, I've been spelling Shannen Doherty's name wrong this whole time. (Shannon vs. Shannen). I apologize to Ms. Doherty. Also, in prepartion for my public apology, I checked out her Twitter. She's currently working to save the dolphins, so probably she's plenty busy and doesn't need my Twitter support. Never gonna stop, though.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
The Halliwell Manor shakes. The P's come running down the stairs and Phoebe helpfully announces, "oh no! Not another after shock!" Thanks, Phoebe. I was almost there but now I really know what's going on! Phoebs says Prue is the only who who likes earthquakes.
The girls are tidying up in the kitchen when Prue gets a whiff of something foul. Piper has already smelled this smell and thinks it's coming from the basement. She called someone to check it out, all without ever discussing this with her sisters because exposition needed to happen now. In fact, the gasman has just arrived.
Prue freaks out because they are hosting some auction-house-related dinner at the Manor. Phoebe assures her that everything will be okay.
The girls are tidying up in the kitchen when Prue gets a whiff of something foul. Piper has already smelled this smell and thinks it's coming from the basement. She called someone to check it out, all without ever discussing this with her sisters because exposition needed to happen now. In fact, the gasman has just arrived.
Prue freaks out because they are hosting some auction-house-related dinner at the Manor. Phoebe assures her that everything will be okay.
A black man sits down to dinner with his son when suddenly, some thugs (according to the episode description) break into the house. Thugs grab the boy and tell the dad that they're going to borrow him and will return him Monday. It's all rather polite right up until the Thug with the gun knocks the dad unconscious.
Halliwell Manor. Phoebe is painting her toenails in the attic, where her sisters are spring cleaning. Prue is doing most of it with her telekinesis. She hopes that doesn't count as personal gain and I'm already laughing bitterly. "Personal gain" might be this show's "soul."
Halliwell Manor. Phoebe is painting her toenails in the attic, where her sisters are spring cleaning. Prue is doing most of it with her telekinesis. She hopes that doesn't count as personal gain and I'm already laughing bitterly. "Personal gain" might be this show's "soul."
Prue and Phoebe are shopping when the shop owner tells them she wants to close up. Prue thought the shop was open until 1am, and usually it is, but not on the eve of Friday the 13th. Dawson Leery might be around the corner, waiting to scare you because he likes you. Prue tries to rush Phoebe along as the shop owner looks nervously at the clock. Phoebe quickly decides on a good luck charm.
At the register, Phoebe asks Prue to pay for her charm. The shop owner asks them to sign up for her mailing list and tells them about a Wicca gathering for the spring equinox. Prue says they never said they were witches and the shop owner gives them excellent, "bitch, please." eyes.
At the register, Phoebe asks Prue to pay for her charm. The shop owner asks them to sign up for her mailing list and tells them about a Wicca gathering for the spring equinox. Prue says they never said they were witches and the shop owner gives them excellent, "bitch, please." eyes.
I love when we unintentionally develop crossover magic here in Traumaland. Here, we have another wendigo episode! If we really want to this a thing, Wikipedia tells these shows have wendigo appearances: X-Files, Blood Ties, Fear Itself, Haven, Grimm, Hannibal, Teen Wolf or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You never know.
Piper got a flat tire on the way to meet Prue and Phoebe for dinner. Phoebs is trying to talk her through changing a tire via phone call, but things go south quickly when Piper tries to use a wooden spoon to jack up the car. Phoebe offers to go and get her, seeing as how she's stranded and only has a broken wooden spoon to protect herself. Somewhere, Buffy is all, "girl, that's enough!" Especially in the later seasons when minimal effort was required to pierce through the chest.
Piper got a flat tire on the way to meet Prue and Phoebe for dinner. Phoebs is trying to talk her through changing a tire via phone call, but things go south quickly when Piper tries to use a wooden spoon to jack up the car. Phoebe offers to go and get her, seeing as how she's stranded and only has a broken wooden spoon to protect herself. Somewhere, Buffy is all, "girl, that's enough!" Especially in the later seasons when minimal effort was required to pierce through the chest.
Some dude breaks into a house very easily and tries to tell his twitchy friend, Clay, that they have nothing to worry about; the owner of the house is dead. B&Es Are Easy says he's off to grab the urn. There is a third man present. He follows after B&Es Are Easy and asks if Clay is in the know. B&Es Are Easy says it's better not to spook Clay, who would totally believe that some curse killed the house owner.
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
Prue and Phoebe arrive from a shopping excursion and Piper comes from inside the house, shirt open, giggling, led by an also partially undressed Leo. Freaked out by the appearance of her sisters, she freezes time, trips over Leo and slides all the way toward EMBARRASSING.
Piper is only momentarily distracted by all of the shopping bags and asks Prue if maybe she's just depression shopping. No matter how many times I regret retail therapy, I will never speak ill of it. It hurts so good. Piper pushes her sisters out of Leo's sight. She runs back, puts her hand in his, and when time unfreezes, continues her run upstairs with him.
Piper is only momentarily distracted by all of the shopping bags and asks Prue if maybe she's just depression shopping. No matter how many times I regret retail therapy, I will never speak ill of it. It hurts so good. Piper pushes her sisters out of Leo's sight. She runs back, puts her hand in his, and when time unfreezes, continues her run upstairs with him.
I took a few weeks off of Charmed during vacation and I feel like I've forgotten everything that's happened. Something tells me that won't matter.
Salem, Massachusetts, 1692. Some woo-woo music plays as two men unlock a door where a woman is being held. She (Melinda) asks why he (Matthew) betrayed her and he says she got what she deserved. Matthew pretended to love Melinda, took her powers and then turned her in to be burned at the stake. Melinda rips her locket off and throws it at Matthew, telling him to keep his trinkets. He chuckles and opens it for contrivance reasons. Inside is a petal that bursts into a small flame. Melinda recites a curse and steals back her power.
Salem, Massachusetts, 1692. Some woo-woo music plays as two men unlock a door where a woman is being held. She (Melinda) asks why he (Matthew) betrayed her and he says she got what she deserved. Matthew pretended to love Melinda, took her powers and then turned her in to be burned at the stake. Melinda rips her locket off and throws it at Matthew, telling him to keep his trinkets. He chuckles and opens it for contrivance reasons. Inside is a petal that bursts into a small flame. Melinda recites a curse and steals back her power.