Previously: The bad guys defeated themselves and the apocalypse didn’t happen. — Be Careful What You Witch For Stephanie: It’s only taken about a year, but it’s finally time for the...
The girls return from a shopping trip and talk about how fun the shopping trip was. Prue says it's way more fun than vanquishing demons and everyone who has to watch them vanquish these demons would probably agree.
Stephanie: Maybe vanquishing would be more exciting if it involved more than a bad poem that turns demons into sparkles and twinkle lights in three seconds.
Mari: One of the girls turns on the little kitchen TV. There is a report on the news about a street brawl. Prue asks if they think this kind of violence has been happening a lot lately and Phoebe just quotes her Sociology 101 class.
Stephanie: Maybe vanquishing would be more exciting if it involved more than a bad poem that turns demons into sparkles and twinkle lights in three seconds.
Mari: One of the girls turns on the little kitchen TV. There is a report on the news about a street brawl. Prue asks if they think this kind of violence has been happening a lot lately and Phoebe just quotes her Sociology 101 class.
Breakfast at the Halliwell Manor. Phoebe asks Piper if she got "the postcard" from Dan and I'm confused because aren't they not on good terms after he attacked her boyfriend for being a liar and a war veteran? Apparently he's having a great time wherever he is, so... great?
Marines: He probably only sent the postcard because he's having a good time and stupid ex-girlfriends need to know that.
Stephanie: Anyway, Piper is distracted by a letter from the doctor that treated her when she got sick from handling space fruit. Yup, we all wanted to revisit that plot.
Marines: He probably only sent the postcard because he's having a good time and stupid ex-girlfriends need to know that.
Stephanie: Anyway, Piper is distracted by a letter from the doctor that treated her when she got sick from handling space fruit. Yup, we all wanted to revisit that plot.
Halliwell Manor. Piper is preparing for a romantic night by lighting candles and picking up a vase and putting it elsewhere (?). Prue runs in and Piper asks her WTF she's doing home, because Pipers's supposed to have the house to herself. Prue totally forgot about this and is distracted by some pictures she took for an assignment. She wants Piper's opinion on them, and since Leo isn't there yet anyway, Piper tells her to make it quick.
Prue shows the horrible photos to her sister. (S: I will always laugh at her mediocre photos. Until this character trait suddenly disappears, of course.)
Prue shows the horrible photos to her sister. (S: I will always laugh at her mediocre photos. Until this character trait suddenly disappears, of course.)
At the manor, Prue is taking "artistic" photos of Piper, who's moping by the window and watching Dan come home alone like one of those sad, loser single people. Prue tells her to cheer up because Leo is in town for dinner and a movie. Oh boy, I can't wait. It's her first real date with Leo as a normal couple, although I'm not entirely sure why since she's still a witch and he's a Whitelighter again, but sure, whatever.
A bunch of old women stand in a circle, calling on something named Cryto. One of the ladies has a little coughing fit, but she urges the others to keep chanting. Even though they've been at it for 15 minutes, she's sure Cryto will show up.
Stephanie: Before we get any further can we just take a moment to go WTF at the weird Leatherfaceness of this episode's title?
Mari: Absolutely!
Stephanie: Before we get any further can we just take a moment to go WTF at the weird Leatherfaceness of this episode's title?
Mari: Absolutely!
Prue is at the most 90's photoshoot ever (one of the posing dudes is wearing a metallic shirt), showing off her portfolio to an art director (?). He's impressed with her work even though she probably threw the whole thing together over the weekend. It's not enough to get her a job, though, because her resume shows she's an evil job switcher. Prue asks if she can have a shot anyway and the AD agrees to give her the job if she can get a photo of Amy Adams Maggie Murphy, an unlucky Irish woman (Haha! the irony!) who used to do good things until she got unlucky. He wants an artistic photo of Maggie's inner soul by 5 PM.
Prison. Two guards come to collect a prisoner who is Antonio Sabato, Jr. You'll probably recall that he was on the show previously but may not recall why. Basically, I'm describing myself. Thankfully they say his name right away so I don't have to keep typing Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Stephanie: I only remember Bane as the guy Prue made out with when she put on leather and became a Bad Girl for a day. I don't remember why he's in jail. I also don't care.
Stephanie: I only remember Bane as the guy Prue made out with when she put on leather and became a Bad Girl for a day. I don't remember why he's in jail. I also don't care.
Halliwell Manor. The P's have somehow scraped up enough friends to throw a party even though they only ever hang out with each other. Prue congratulates Piper on her successful shindig, but Piper's too busy fretting over the fact that her dull boyfriends are chatting with each other.
Marines: Piper is on screen for two seconds before she's talking about Dan and Leo. Make it stop.
Steph: It's going to go on until the end of the season isn't it?
Phoebe appears on the stairwell irritated by the noise because she's studying phobias for her exam. She's wearing a kimono with chopsticks in her hair. You know, regular pajama-type clothes.
Marines: Piper is on screen for two seconds before she's talking about Dan and Leo. Make it stop.
Steph: It's going to go on until the end of the season isn't it?
Phoebe appears on the stairwell irritated by the noise because she's studying phobias for her exam. She's wearing a kimono with chopsticks in her hair. You know, regular pajama-type clothes.
College. (S: UGH. WHY?) Phoebe is in a class where the professor is talking about some mating rituals, because of course. Because if we're going to see Phoebe in a class, it's obviously going to be a class about mating rituals.
There is this dude with hedgehog hair (S: Now they're just going out of their way to cast men with the worst hair.) in the class who keeps giving Phoebe LOOKS. She returns them and does a little hair flipping. Behind her, some girls start giggling about something and Phoebe asks what's up with her study group having fun with out her.
There is this dude with hedgehog hair (S: Now they're just going out of their way to cast men with the worst hair.) in the class who keeps giving Phoebe LOOKS. She returns them and does a little hair flipping. Behind her, some girls start giggling about something and Phoebe asks what's up with her study group having fun with out her.
P^3. Piper is behind the bar chopping up some kind of fruit I can't identify because I only eat cake and potato chips. (M: I'm eating potato chips as I comment. High five!) Phoebe shows up clad in pink fuzz, all excited because she's just enrolled in college. This show doesn't have enough boring side plots, so here's another one. Phoebe needs some help narrowing down which classes to take, but Piper coughs her way out of that boring task. She's been too busy doing things for P^3 to take care of herself, but she thinks the cough is probably nothing, which means it's definitely something really bad. Phoebe starts helping with the fruit cutting and she's as baffled as I am about what that thing is. Piper explains that it's a kiwano melon that she had smuggled in from space South America.
So, I watched this episode like two weeks ago and then promptly laughed at Stephanie because she had the baby episode of Charmed. Shortly after that she was all, "I'm sooooo busy. Maybe you should take the next episode."
That's not exactly what happened but it doesn't matter because: baby episode.
Stephanie: Baby episodes are the worst, but I'm sure there's another episode riddled with dumb gender stereotypes waiting for me and the balance will be restored. Then again, I already covered the episode where Prue became a Bro.
That's not exactly what happened but it doesn't matter because: baby episode.
Stephanie: Baby episodes are the worst, but I'm sure there's another episode riddled with dumb gender stereotypes waiting for me and the balance will be restored. Then again, I already covered the episode where Prue became a Bro.
Here we are again.
Stephanie: What? You're not excited? This one's gonna be good. I know it.
Mari:
The episode starts at some kind of office building. We notice a a Generic Charmed Man leaning against a wall as a couple greet each other and cautiously flirt. (S: They flirt about Y2K and it's incredible.) Generic Charmed Man proclaims them a match, and I know Cupid is going to be in this episode so let's just call him that.
Stephanie: What? You're not excited? This one's gonna be good. I know it.
Mari:
The episode starts at some kind of office building. We notice a a Generic Charmed Man leaning against a wall as a couple greet each other and cautiously flirt. (S: They flirt about Y2K and it's incredible.) Generic Charmed Man proclaims them a match, and I know Cupid is going to be in this episode so let's just call him that.
I can already tell from the title alone that this episode will be stupid. Don't disappoint me Charmed.
Marines: It never has.
Steph: Prue takes a business call while Phoebe eats breakfast and urges her to hurry up so they can attend a Tae Bo class. LOL. Tae Bo.
Prue's cell rings and Phoebe answers. It's work too, with more stressful work stuff. Who cares?
Marines: It never has.
Steph: Prue takes a business call while Phoebe eats breakfast and urges her to hurry up so they can attend a Tae Bo class. LOL. Tae Bo.
Prue's cell rings and Phoebe answers. It's work too, with more stressful work stuff. Who cares?
We start at someplace called Camp Skylark. Prue is staring at a lake and she broods all the way into a flashback of the day Mama Halliwell drowned. We watch her being zipped up into a body bag, while Baby!Prue yells for her mommy. A police officer scoops her up, but then just puts her down within dead-mommy-viewing distance. Thanks a lot, cop. In the present, Prue is still crying and staring at the lake.
Stephanie: I had no idea this was how Mama Halliwell died. Was I supposed to?
Stephanie: I had no idea this was how Mama Halliwell died. Was I supposed to?