22 Posts

Category: Season 2

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Charmed S02 E07 – Nothing makes sense

  • Posted byby Marines
  • January 17, 2015
  • 18 Comments
We open at a museum with a tour guide describing a legendary book known as the Akashic records, thought to contain an account of all of time’s significant events. Everyone from Hitler, to probably, most likely warlocks has been looking for it. The guide leads his group to a tablet of dead language engravings and explains that anyone who can decipher it will learn the location of the records. As the tour guide speaks, a shifty eyed guy watches another guy who’s examining the tablet and taking notes. Note Guy announces that he’s figured it out and runs off leaving Shifty to look even shiftier. Maybe don’t talk out loud about your deciphering skills near a tablet that no one can decipher?
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Charmed S02 E06 – Second hand embarrassment

  • Posted byby Marines
  • January 7, 2015
  • 29 Comments
We start in nature with two guys who clearly want to be bear-mauled. By that I mostly mean that they are in nature and seeking out a particular cave. Their faces are really dirty and I don't know why. I guess they rolled most of the way here? Hesitant Dirty Face thinks the cave looks small for a mine shaft, but Stupid Dirty Face is all, "s'whatever. Let's go in."
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
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Charmed S02 E05 – Ew.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • January 3, 2015
  • 13 Comments
It's another night at the hippest place in SF, P^3. There's a heat wave and Phoebe's so hot, she's rubbing ice all over her body and attracting the male patrons. Piper shoos the onlookers off and notes that Phoebe’s burning up. Phoebe says she doesn't feel sick, she feels hot and aroused. Nope. I don't want this episode.
Marines: Meanwhile, after I saw that opening? I did a little NOT MINE! dance.
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Charmed S02 E04 – These things cannot be unseen.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • December 20, 2014
  • 34 Comments
We open with a very lame night at P^3. People are leaving because this show is so awful the club is dead.
Prue tells Phoebe that she thinks they are going to have to take up that offer. Phoebe responds, "please tell me about that offer even though we've presumably already talked about it off screen!" Apparently, some guy named Chris Barker has offered them a no-interest loan they can pay back anytime. Prue says they aren't going to tell Piper about it, though, because.
Stephanie: They're at The Bronze, where you have an 85% chance of dying, but it's still preferable to this. 
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Charmed S02 E03 – Sperm Doodle

  • Posted byby Marines
  • December 17, 2014
  • 24 Comments
We open at Buckland where Prue is appraising a tacky painting of a gothic castle. She points out that the composition is unusual but it’s really not. It’s just a castle sitting in the middle of the canvas and it's definitely a photograph that's been shopped to look painted. The painting belongs to a super nervous woman. She wants to sell it as soon as possible and she doesn’t care how much money they get for it. Her behavior leads me to believe that this is an Evil Painting. The scene ends on an ominous zoom in shot of the painting, so definitely evil.
Phoebe and Piper talk on the phone about how Phoebe crashed Prue’s car into a pole. It looks like Piper is prepping stuff for Wanna-Bronze. I can’t wait.
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Charmed S02 E02 – Dog poo lessons

  • Posted byby Marines
  • December 13, 2014
  • 30 Comments
Guys, I wrote the first twenty minutes of this recap and lost it all because of some combination of the Internet and Wordpress hating me. There was no autosave. It took me so long to recap this crap because of some combination of busy life times and me resenting this episode because I had to watch it again. Did you hear me? I HAVE TO WATCH A PORTION OF AN EPISODE TWICE.
Stephanie: I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic experience. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
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Charmed S02 E01 – Another season of nonsense.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 26, 2014
  • 16 Comments
When Mari asked me if I’d like to take on another show and told me Supernatural and Charmed were both available, I immediately jumped on this one because I like pain.
Marines: Um, I don't care why you're doing it. HOORAY!
Steph: Come along, friends, as we enter another season of utter nonsense.