Oh, hey, friends. Long time no see. MY BAD. Honestly, a big part of the delay on this has to do with the fact that I needed to find gifs for it, and finding gifs for Dawson's Creek is practically impossible after season 3. I mean, there are Pacephine Tumblrs, but they suck at tagging things, and I'm not about to wade through 64 pages of posts on the off chance there's something useable there. So instead I... just kind of gave up on giffing. Sorry. Have a giant wall of text instead?
I have always hated that this episode follows one of the best episodes of teen virginity loss in the history of recorded television. This episode is essentially four minisodes all crammed together, none of them particularly interesting.
Kirsti: #ACCURATE. This episode is a snoozefest and I just need the whole thing to be Pacephine adorableness rather than whatever the hell this mess is.
Kirsti: #ACCURATE. This episode is a snoozefest and I just need the whole thing to be Pacephine adorableness rather than whatever the hell this mess is.
t's senior ski trip time! And therefore one of the Snark Ladies' favourite episodes of this often terrible but weirdly endearing show. We open with Gretchen dropping Pacey and Joey off at school, and informing them that senior ski trip is usually batshit crazy - on her class trip, someone got pregnant, someone got arrested, and someone's hair caught on fire. Joey gets "SAVE ME NOW" face. Pacey promises to watch out for her hair. As they turn to go, Gretchen pulls Joey aside and suggests she give Dawson a call over the weekend.
Welcome back, dear readers. Hopefully this episode will bring us way less emotional abuse!
Leery's Worst Restaurant Name. Gail is upset because Gretchen in taking personal calls at work, instead of doing her job and getting more wine.
Kirsti: I've had bosses crack the sads at me for even touching my phone at work, so the idea of Gretchen taking personal calls (ON THE WORK LANDLINE NO LESS!) is baffling to me.
Leery's Worst Restaurant Name. Gail is upset because Gretchen in taking personal calls at work, instead of doing her job and getting more wine.
Kirsti: I've had bosses crack the sads at me for even touching my phone at work, so the idea of Gretchen taking personal calls (ON THE WORK LANDLINE NO LESS!) is baffling to me.
Pacey's asleep on the sofa when Joey wakes him up by singing happy birthday and shoving a cupcake in his face.
He's none too pleased by this method of being woken up, and hopes like hell for no further acknowledgement of his birthday because birthdays are the actual worst.
Chelsea: This is not the way to wake someone up, ESPECIALLY ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. You let them wake up naturally and then bribe them with cake.
He's none too pleased by this method of being woken up, and hopes like hell for no further acknowledgement of his birthday because birthdays are the actual worst.
Chelsea: This is not the way to wake someone up, ESPECIALLY ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. You let them wake up naturally and then bribe them with cake.
Chelsea: We open on Dawson and Pacey fishing, because they're friends again now? Dawson drops the bombshell on Pacey - he likes Gretchen. Pacey makes a Say Anything reference, which only makes me love him a thousand times more.
Kirsti: Dawson is 100% the guy who would stand outside your house holding a boombox over his head. 100%.
Chelsea: Dawson brings up the fact that the last year would have been so much easier if Pacey had just been upfront with how he felt about Joey (woah, dude, maybe ease up on poking that particular wound) (K: Oh puh-leeeze, Dawson. If Pacey had told you about Joey, you would have cracked the shits) and Pacey says "yeah, but sisters are off limits.
Kirsti: Dawson is 100% the guy who would stand outside your house holding a boombox over his head. 100%.
Chelsea: Dawson brings up the fact that the last year would have been so much easier if Pacey had just been upfront with how he felt about Joey (woah, dude, maybe ease up on poking that particular wound) (K: Oh puh-leeeze, Dawson. If Pacey had told you about Joey, you would have cracked the shits) and Pacey says "yeah, but sisters are off limits.
We open in Dawson's dark room, which is full of photos of Gretchen and kind of looks like the opening of a stalker episode of Criminal Minds. Jack asks Dawson what it feels like to have a dream come true, what with the Gretchen-kissing and all. Dawson claims that they're just friends and that "not every kiss has to be a life altering event." Jack basically eyerolls, because Dawson is the king of teen drama and reading too much into things.
Lights up on Leery Manor as Dawson and a girl that COULD BE JOEY are in his room watching movies. Only just kidding, it's totally Gretchen. And the movie they're watching is one of Mr. Brooks'. Dawson laments that he wants to hate Mr. Brooks' work (wonder what it's like to want to hate something that badly, hmmm blonde spider?) but then goes on to call it a 'heartbreaking work of staggering genius' and I'm throwing up too hard to wonder if it's hyperbole.
Capeside High, first thing in the morning. Everyone wanders around yawning until some random kid runs into the middle of the hall and starts yelling that everyone has to see what's happened to the swimming pool. I guess Capeside High has a swimming pool now. Cool. Everyone runs after him and giggles hysterically as the camera pans across to show us that there's a sailboat sitting in the middle of the pool with "CLASS OF 2001" written on the sail, and a golden retriever on board. It's the principal's boat and the principal's dog, and he's pretty pissed about it. Amusingly, the pissy principal is played by Harry Shearer, better known as the voice of Principal Skinner, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Ned Flanders, and half the other characters on The Simpsons.
Open with Joey in the guidance office, being told by an very well-coiffed counselor that "it suits you," the 'it' in this situation being the panicky doe-eyed look that Joey seems to have as a high school senior applying for colleges. Someone should probably tell the counselor that's just how her face is, though. Joey makes a crack about just going to clown college but the counselor reassures her that she's actually doing really well on the whole process. Except, of course, for a completely arbitrary (and possibly made up) peer-review from ‘the person who knows her best’ which will OF COURSE necessitate a choice between Pacey and Dawson.
Capeside High library. Andie tells Jen that she knows applying for college is overwhelming, and suggests she start by looking at schools in New York, seeing as she lived there before and has been talking about going back. Jen's all "I've been saying WHAT?" Yeah, turns out Drue's been spreading rumours again. Asshole.
"'According to him' would be the key phrase. He's the Dark Prince of Revisionist History..." Jen snaps. Best. Jack rushes in, totally out of breath. Andie asks what's going on and he totally downplays it, being all "Oh, you got something in post. Totally not a big deal.
"'According to him' would be the key phrase. He's the Dark Prince of Revisionist History..." Jen snaps. Best. Jack rushes in, totally out of breath. Andie asks what's going on and he totally downplays it, being all "Oh, you got something in post. Totally not a big deal.
Hello, Snarkers of the internet. I am so, so happy to be revisiting my absolute favorite show of the 90’s. My love for Joshua Jackson runs, to this day, as deep as it ever has. As does my hatred of Katie Holmes' acting abilities.
Kirsti: Shocker that the rest of the main quartet are now famous for their acting abilities while she's famous for having been married to a lunatic.
Kirsti: Shocker that the rest of the main quartet are now famous for their acting abilities while she's famous for having been married to a lunatic.
We open in Joey's bedroom. Pacey's reading 1984 and declares himself to be bored. There's no point, he says, in reading about the future when it's already the past. He grumbles about how people in the 1950s got totally caught up in what the future would be like, and then 1984 wasn't that bad. "Except for that whole Boy George thing..." he says, and DAMMIT, PACEY. Now I want to watch The Wedding Singer...
Capeside High. You can probably tell from the title of this episode that the topic of discussion is Two Gentlemen of Verona, because subtlety is not this show's forte. Anyway, Drue (why is this the spelling of his name, show? why?) (K: SERIOUSLY) is disgusting and weird and creepy towards Joey. Dawson and Joey answer questions about the play that are really about their love triangle with Pacey. Drue suggests that Joey and Dawson prepare a formal debate on the play, because he's the actual worst. The teacher agrees, because teachers always let 17-year-olds assign each other projects and dictate lesson plans. At least the teacher makes Drue participate as well.
Capeside High. Pacey and Joey wander adorably, hand in hand. He gripes about how he's been called to the guidance office already, and she quips that maybe they just want to tell him how supportive they are of his future as a gas station attendant. Harsh, Jo. Pacey, meanwhile, wants to discuss couple-y things. Namely, public displays of affection and whether they're acceptable at school.