It took us more than a year to finally get out of Series 4, partly because we tagged all the Tennant specials into this season, but mostly because we so slow. We did it though and the super struggle bus of getting here only makes this gif dance party celebration all the more earned:
After a recap of what happened last time, we jump straight into the credits. Farewell, Russell T Davies era credits and title screen. I love you forever. (M: I'm glad the farewell tour is starting so early!)
DOO WEE OOO!
DOO WEE OOO!
We open in space. We zoom past the Moon to Earth. A narrator tells us that in the last days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. Except that everyone forgot because people are dumb. Well, one person remembered. We zoom in on Wilf(!!!!!!), watching happily as a Salvation Army band plays Christmas carols. He hears a maniacal laugh in his head, and shakes himself.
I'm going to be upfront about this - I've only ever seen this episode once because it scared the living shit out of me while also being not great. So... that's something to look forward to?
Marines: Well, if it helps, I actually thought this episode was great and hands down the best of the Tennant specials we've seen so far. It is also terrifying, though, so 2/2 Snark Ladies agree on that.
Marines: Well, if it helps, I actually thought this episode was great and hands down the best of the Tennant specials we've seen so far. It is also terrifying, though, so 2/2 Snark Ladies agree on that.
International Gallery. Four armed guards take their positions around a force field meant to protect a big ass golden goblet. I'm going to show you how they are protecting this and you tell me if you see any lapses in security:
Kirsti: As a former museum curator, THIS IS THE WORST SECURITY OF ALL TIME. Why the eff would you spend that much on laser systems and paying security guards and, you know, NOT PUT THE FREAKING OBJECT IN A SHOWCASE WITH BUILT IN ALARMS AND BULLET PROOF GLASS?!?!?!?! Sense: this doesn't any make.
Kirsti: As a former museum curator, THIS IS THE WORST SECURITY OF ALL TIME. Why the eff would you spend that much on laser systems and paying security guards and, you know, NOT PUT THE FREAKING OBJECT IN A SHOWCASE WITH BUILT IN ALARMS AND BULLET PROOF GLASS?!?!?!?! Sense: this doesn't any make.
And so we enter the weird sort-of season. I honestly can't remember the entire story behind why there was this series of specials instead of a whole season, but I think it had something to do with David Tennant being cast as Hamlet in the Royal Shakespeare Company's production and it being far more successful than they'd planned??? Or something?
Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.
Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.
We ended last episode thinking a lot of people might die: Sarah Jane was facing Daleks, the Torchwood team was facing Daleks and the Doctor started to regenerate. After a DOO WEE OOH (K: Officially the most epic cast list of EVER), we join the Doctor as he shoots his regeneration ejaculation into the canister with his hand in it. Rose, Jack and Donna look at the Doctor like WTF.
Sarah Jane is saved by the sudden appearance of Mickey Smith (!!) and Jackie Tyler (!!), who are both carrying big guns and make quick work of the Dalek.
Sarah Jane is saved by the sudden appearance of Mickey Smith (!!) and Jackie Tyler (!!), who are both carrying big guns and make quick work of the Dalek.
The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He's surprised to see that everything's perfectly normal. Donna's too busy being all, "so that was Rose Tyler, huh?" (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor's moping over her...) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they'll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.
Future, at an unidentified Asian locale. (K: Hooray! Not!White places are always exciting to me.) Donna and the Doctor are walking through a market and generally being so damn happy and adorable that it hurts me. We know that the Doctor has all of these adventures with his companions and we, as the audience, seem to stop in on them when things go wrong. They reference, though, and there is this sense that there are other, generally "normal" adventures. I know everything is about to go to shit in one moment, but this brief moment of pure travel adventure gave me feelings.
You guys, I'm really excited to be recapping this episode for one simple reason - this is the first episode of Doctor Who that I ever saw. I'd had friends telling me for years and years that I'd love it, that I had to watch it, that it was amazing. And I'd always been pretty meh about it. But one Saturday night in 2010, I was home alone in Canberra and had nothing to do (because I'm cool like that), and when ABC News finished, Doctor Who started. And I was still pretty meh about it, but was too lazy to get up and put a DVD on, so I watched it. Conveniently, this is one of those episodes like Blink that requires no prior knowledge of the show, so it was basically the perfect starting point.
We recap part one in the previouslies and then head straight to DOO WEE OOH.
After the opening credits, we pick up right where we left off, with Swarm in a Suit chasing our gang, cornering them in a dark hallway. River stands back and blasts a way out for them.
Little Girl is sitting on her couch and the chase sequence is playing out on her TV. She tells her father that the library is on TV, and he reminds her that the library is all in her imagination.
After the opening credits, we pick up right where we left off, with Swarm in a Suit chasing our gang, cornering them in a dark hallway. River stands back and blasts a way out for them.
Little Girl is sitting on her couch and the chase sequence is playing out on her TV. She tells her father that the library is on TV, and he reminds her that the library is all in her imagination.
Unsurprisingly, this episode which features archaeologists and libraries, is one of my favourites. Because it's freaking amazing.
Marines: I'm with you on the library and the amazing and the favorite and we're already squeeing and the episode hasn't started yet. I'M SO EXCITED.
K: "Close your eyes, and tell me what you see," says a voice. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as a little girl floats over a huge city and says that she sees the library. When she opens her eyes, she's in her living room, talking to a psychologist named Doctor Moon. (M: It's Colin Salmon, who I best know as Walter Steele in Arrow!)
Marines: I'm with you on the library and the amazing and the favorite and we're already squeeing and the episode hasn't started yet. I'M SO EXCITED.
K: "Close your eyes, and tell me what you see," says a voice. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as a little girl floats over a huge city and says that she sees the library. When she opens her eyes, she's in her living room, talking to a psychologist named Doctor Moon. (M: It's Colin Salmon, who I best know as Walter Steele in Arrow!)
The TARDIS lands in front of a manor and the Doctor can smell grass, lemonade and a little bit of mint in the air. It must be the 1920s. Donna disbelievingly asks if he can really tell what year it is by the smell. The Doctor confirms, but Donna's on to his games.
Kirsti: I love the look on his face in the last gif. Equal parts pride and "oh, someone finally twigged..."
Mari: Some swing jazzy music starts. The man driving the vintage car (Professor Peach) is greeted by the manor staff. A reverend bikes up to the manor as well and he exchanges pleasantries with Professor Peach. The Reverend goes ahead inside because Professor Peach needs to check on something before the party... alone.
Kirsti: I love the look on his face in the last gif. Equal parts pride and "oh, someone finally twigged..."
Mari: Some swing jazzy music starts. The man driving the vintage car (Professor Peach) is greeted by the manor staff. A reverend bikes up to the manor as well and he exchanges pleasantries with Professor Peach. The Reverend goes ahead inside because Professor Peach needs to check on something before the party... alone.
We pick up exactly where we left off, with the TARDIS vworp vworping off to God knows where, Martha still on board. The controls aren't responding, and the Doctor says he has no idea where they're going, but his spare hand is super excited about. Donna's all "Your spare WHAT?" and Martha briefly explains. (M: Donna, girl. You never noticed the bubbling hand?) The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor pokes his head out into an underground tunnel, full of barbed wire and shot up sheets of metal. Martha whispers to Donna that she loves this bit, where the Doctor works out where and when they are.
After a recap of the last episode, we jump straight to the credits.
DOO WEE OOH.
The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!
Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?!
Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world.
DOO WEE OOH.
The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!
Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?!
Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world.