Previously: The Doctor shouted at Amy and River. A LOT. — The Vampires of Venice Dani: Venice, 1580. A Venetian dude begs some middle-aged woman who’s dressed like royalty (and sitting...
After the recap, we're thrown straight into the credits.
DOO WEE OOO! (I still miss the old credits, to be honest.)
Dani: Same.
Marines: SHHHH. DOO WEE OOOO.
DOO WEE OOO! (I still miss the old credits, to be honest.)
Dani: Same.
Marines: SHHHH. DOO WEE OOOO.
A soldier stands in a field with a smudge of lipstick on his face. He's kind of twirling around, indicating that he is dizzy and out of sorts. A man in evening wear (accompanied by two other soldiers) stomps very unhappily over to Dizzy Soldier and wipes a little of the lipstick smudge off his face.
We cut to Dizzy Smudge sitting in what TV has taught me can only be a super secret underground something. He's still out of it and Angry Evening Wear Man waited until they got all the way back to the office and out of the field to declare the lipstick smudge a hallucinogenic.
We cut to Dizzy Smudge sitting in what TV has taught me can only be a super secret underground something. He's still out of it and Angry Evening Wear Man waited until they got all the way back to the office and out of the field to declare the lipstick smudge a hallucinogenic.
This is the first episode of Doctor Who that I get to recap, and I'm so psyched to join the team that I won't even complain about it involving stupid Daleks.
Marines: That's a lot of excitement because UGH, DALEKS. Also, so happy to have you!
Kirsti: I'm super happy to have you toobecause it means I have to recap fewer episodes of the Matt Smith era!!
Dani: #Priorities
Marines: That's a lot of excitement because UGH, DALEKS. Also, so happy to have you!
Kirsti: I'm super happy to have you too
Dani: #Priorities
he camera pans over a floating city, with the Union flag painted next to it. We pan over the buildings, many of which are illuminated with the names of counties.
Cut to a school room where all the kids are in 1950s style outfits, sitting at 1950s style desks. A robotic voice praises each of them in turn as they head out the door. One boy hangs back reluctantly. (M: Yeah, boy. I wouldn't walk up close to that robotic voice either.) A girl gives him a "what are you waiting for?" expression before heading out. He's the last in the classroom.
Cut to a school room where all the kids are in 1950s style outfits, sitting at 1950s style desks. A robotic voice praises each of them in turn as they head out the door. One boy hangs back reluctantly. (M: Yeah, boy. I wouldn't walk up close to that robotic voice either.) A girl gives him a "what are you waiting for?" expression before heading out. He's the last in the classroom.
I remember portions of this episode very vividly. I think I took a break between the end of Ten's tenure and the beginning of Eleven; enough of one that watching this episode felt like jumping into a new experience in more ways than just the changes that came with it. I stopped watching Doctor Who with Matt Smith because we started this recapping project, and I figured I'd catch up to more recent seasons when we got there to recap. I was young and optimistic and thought that would be sooner rather than later. lol.
It took us more than a year to finally get out of Series 4, partly because we tagged all the Tennant specials into this season, but mostly because we so slow. We did it though and the super struggle bus of getting here only makes this gif dance party celebration all the more earned:
After a recap of what happened last time, we jump straight into the credits. Farewell, Russell T Davies era credits and title screen. I love you forever. (M: I'm glad the farewell tour is starting so early!)
DOO WEE OOO!
DOO WEE OOO!
We open in space. We zoom past the Moon to Earth. A narrator tells us that in the last days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. Except that everyone forgot because people are dumb. Well, one person remembered. We zoom in on Wilf(!!!!!!), watching happily as a Salvation Army band plays Christmas carols. He hears a maniacal laugh in his head, and shakes himself.
I'm going to be upfront about this - I've only ever seen this episode once because it scared the living shit out of me while also being not great. So... that's something to look forward to?
Marines: Well, if it helps, I actually thought this episode was great and hands down the best of the Tennant specials we've seen so far. It is also terrifying, though, so 2/2 Snark Ladies agree on that.
Marines: Well, if it helps, I actually thought this episode was great and hands down the best of the Tennant specials we've seen so far. It is also terrifying, though, so 2/2 Snark Ladies agree on that.
International Gallery. Four armed guards take their positions around a force field meant to protect a big ass golden goblet. I'm going to show you how they are protecting this and you tell me if you see any lapses in security:
Kirsti: As a former museum curator, THIS IS THE WORST SECURITY OF ALL TIME. Why the eff would you spend that much on laser systems and paying security guards and, you know, NOT PUT THE FREAKING OBJECT IN A SHOWCASE WITH BUILT IN ALARMS AND BULLET PROOF GLASS?!?!?!?! Sense: this doesn't any make.
Kirsti: As a former museum curator, THIS IS THE WORST SECURITY OF ALL TIME. Why the eff would you spend that much on laser systems and paying security guards and, you know, NOT PUT THE FREAKING OBJECT IN A SHOWCASE WITH BUILT IN ALARMS AND BULLET PROOF GLASS?!?!?!?! Sense: this doesn't any make.
And so we enter the weird sort-of season. I honestly can't remember the entire story behind why there was this series of specials instead of a whole season, but I think it had something to do with David Tennant being cast as Hamlet in the Royal Shakespeare Company's production and it being far more successful than they'd planned??? Or something?
Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.
Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.
We ended last episode thinking a lot of people might die: Sarah Jane was facing Daleks, the Torchwood team was facing Daleks and the Doctor started to regenerate. After a DOO WEE OOH (K: Officially the most epic cast list of EVER), we join the Doctor as he shoots his regeneration ejaculation into the canister with his hand in it. Rose, Jack and Donna look at the Doctor like WTF.
Sarah Jane is saved by the sudden appearance of Mickey Smith (!!) and Jackie Tyler (!!), who are both carrying big guns and make quick work of the Dalek.
Sarah Jane is saved by the sudden appearance of Mickey Smith (!!) and Jackie Tyler (!!), who are both carrying big guns and make quick work of the Dalek.
The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He's surprised to see that everything's perfectly normal. Donna's too busy being all, "so that was Rose Tyler, huh?" (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor's moping over her...) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they'll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.
Future, at an unidentified Asian locale. (K: Hooray! Not!White places are always exciting to me.) Donna and the Doctor are walking through a market and generally being so damn happy and adorable that it hurts me. We know that the Doctor has all of these adventures with his companions and we, as the audience, seem to stop in on them when things go wrong. They reference, though, and there is this sense that there are other, generally "normal" adventures. I know everything is about to go to shit in one moment, but this brief moment of pure travel adventure gave me feelings.