I'm really curious to recap this episode, because it's easily been one of my favourites up until now. (Which is odd because it's written by Steven Moffat, and I've basically hated everything about his time as show runner...) But favourite things don't always stand up to being watched incredibly slowly, so...we'll see.
We open with CAREY MULLIGAN!!! climbing over a creepy fence into the grounds of a creepy house in the creepy rain accompanied by creepy music. There's a "Danger: Keep Out" sign on the gate.
We start the episode right where the last one left off with Viserys Targaryen giving John Smith the ultimatum to either save Martha or Joan. John Smith is clearly at a loss, but in the background Latimer (baby Jojen Reed...) pulls out the Doctor's pocket watch. He opens it and we see some of that magic Timelord ejaculation float up from it and a voice whispers, "Time Lord." The aliens all freak out, giving Martha an opportunity to break out of alien!Jenny's grasp and grab the gun, like a total badass.
Martha and the Doctor burst into the TARDIS, explosions following them. The Doctor asks frantically if "they" saw Martha's face. She insists that they couldn't have. They set off through time and space, but the unnamed "they" follows, thanks to some stolen technology. The Doctor looks panicky as he realises "they" can follow him anywhere. "I'll have to do it," he says. He grabs a pocket watch and waves it at Martha, saying that his life depends on it. He talks directly into the camera as he starts to say more about the watch.
We start in the TARDIS with the Doctor rigging Martha's flip phone so that it now has all-space-and-time roaming activated. Martha is impressed but before she can test it out, the TARDIS jerks and an alarm starts blaring. The Doctor announces that it's a distress signal and he's locking onto it.
After a bit more turbulence (thought it's an oddly quick series of events. Like AHH distress signal AHH we're here!) they land and the Doctor hurries out to investigate. Martha follows him out and they both comment on how hot wherever they've landed is.
After a bit more turbulence (thought it's an oddly quick series of events. Like AHH distress signal AHH we're here!) they land and the Doctor hurries out to investigate. Martha follows him out and they both comment on how hot wherever they've landed is.
The Doctor and Martha furiously work the controls of the TARDIS, then the Doctor compliments himself on a perfect landing. Martha excitedly wants to know where they are, and the Doctor replies "The end of the line..." She clearly doesn't hear him, and rushes out the door excitedly. Her face falls when she realises that she's standing in her living room. The Doctor informs her that it's the morning after they left on their trip, and she's only been gone about 12 hours in real time.
Marines: So, basically he gets the landing and timing exactly right when he's trying to dump someone? Cool.
Marines: So, basically he gets the landing and timing exactly right when he's trying to dump someone? Cool.
The supremely phallic Human Dalek announces that all of the humans in attendance will soon also increase their facial phallicness 1000%. The Doctor sneaks away as the Coverall Pigs step forward to apprehend people. "Happy Days Are Here Again" starts playing and everyone gets real confused. Phallic Human Dalek asks what that sound is and the Doctor peaks out to say he did it. He's got a radio in his hands. The Daleks immediately cry EXTERMINATE, but Phallic Human Dalek stops them. All he says is, "wait!" though, so we don't get a reason as to why they are leaving the Doctor still alive. Just wait.
Gatsby-esque Manhattan. A bunch of showgirls in glittery devil outfits run around backstage at a theatre preparing for the show. One raps on the dressing room of the star - Tallulah - to give her the two minute warning. Tallulah - dressed as an angel - is making out with her boyfriend, Lazlo. He makes her promise to come to Sunday lunch because his mother wants to meet her. Tallulah freaks a little, but Lazlo insists his mother will love her. Ha. Hahaha. Okay, Lazlo. Whatevs.
Marines: I hope this is the thing you find most unbelievable in this entire episode.
Marines: I hope this is the thing you find most unbelievable in this entire episode.
We start on a static-y screen. A cheerful news reporter says that there are reports of a stockpile of cars and carjacking. We zoom out and see that we're in a vehicle of some sort and this couple is at the helm:
Kirsti: A+ description.
Mari: I'm almost sure that is really what they were going for? I can't imagine why but it had to be purposeful.
Something is banging up against their vehicle, growling. Ma American Gothic is freaking out while Pa American Gothic assures her that the police are on their way.
Kirsti: A+ description.
Mari: I'm almost sure that is really what they were going for? I can't imagine why but it had to be purposeful.
Something is banging up against their vehicle, growling. Ma American Gothic is freaking out while Pa American Gothic assures her that the police are on their way.
London, 1599. A guy with a terrible hair cut plays the lute and sings to a woman leaning out of her window. It's all very Romeo and Juliet. She looks incredibly familiar, and that's because she's Blanche Ingram from the BBC's 2006 version of Jane Eyre! (M: AHHH!) She also played Caroline Bingley in Lost in Austen. (M: Less exciting.) She informs him that after his amazing singing she's totally DTF and he rushes upstairs.
When he gets to her room, he's weirded out to see that it's full of creepy magical looking stuff. She kisses him, and turns into a crone with pointy teeth. He freaks. She gestures and two other crone-faced witches rush forward. They cackle as they surround him, and tear him to shreds.
When he gets to her room, he's weirded out to see that it's full of creepy magical looking stuff. She kisses him, and turns into a crone with pointy teeth. He freaks. She gestures and two other crone-faced witches rush forward. They cackle as they surround him, and tear him to shreds.
I've already said plenty that this is the series I'm most looking forward to revisiting because I suspect my feelings will be different on rewatch. I'm keeping my mind open, friends. The Rose-era has passed and onward we go.
Busy London street. Freema Agyeman is back, you guys, and she's walking along. She gets a call from her sister who insists that their father is going mental and Freema has to do something about it. Next, her brother rings (and thankfully calls her Martha, getting that out of the way) and says that he didn't even want a party and if their parents are going to fight about it, they can just give him the money. I tried this tactic for my Quinceañera and I'm still waiting on that money, bro.
Busy London street. Freema Agyeman is back, you guys, and she's walking along. She gets a call from her sister who insists that their father is going mental and Freema has to do something about it. Next, her brother rings (and thankfully calls her Martha, getting that out of the way) and says that he didn't even want a party and if their parents are going to fight about it, they can just give him the money. I tried this tactic for my Quinceañera and I'm still waiting on that money, bro.
Space. We pan around to the Earth, then do a dramatic zoom - with heavy brass accompaniment - into a church somewhere in London. The ginger bride from the end of Doomsday stands at the head of the aisle. The organ starts up, and it's incredibly confusing because the music is Mendelssohn's Wedding March, which is traditionally considered a recessional, not a processional. #musicnerdproblems
ANYWAY. The groom turns around, they grin at each other, and Ginger Bride makes her way down the aisle. Half way down the aisle, she starts to glow. Like, literally. She's full of glowy gold light. Then she screams and disappears into a glow cloud thing.
ANYWAY. The groom turns around, they grin at each other, and Ginger Bride makes her way down the aisle. Half way down the aisle, she starts to glow. Like, literally. She's full of glowy gold light. Then she screams and disappears into a glow cloud thing.
I've got to say that the most surprising thing about Series 2 was how very little of it I remembered. Sometimes I caught myself asking myself, "did I watch this? Did I skip this? How did I erase this completely from my mind?" I don't have the answers for any of those questions, but those impressions speak greatly to the experience of series 2, for me at least.
There were a ton of episodes that felt weak, but it's a season that is punctuated by lovely character moments, especially if you are invested in the relationship between Rose and the Doctor.
There were a ton of episodes that felt weak, but it's a season that is punctuated by lovely character moments, especially if you are invested in the relationship between Rose and the Doctor.
Granted, this rating is happening from fuzzy memory, but I feel good about giving it anyway:
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
We open in space, looking down at the earth. Rose voiceovers that this is where she was born and where she died. We zoom in on London and watch Past!Rose going through her boring daily life as she voiceovers about how nothing happened in her life before she met the Doctor. We get a shot of the first time she met Nine, and I'm pretty sure I can hear Mari's "NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!" feels from here.
Marines: Pretty sure? Girl, that was definitely me.
Marines: Pretty sure? Girl, that was definitely me.
We start with bright blue sky, cheery music, a banner proclaiming the 2012 London Olympics and even some houses with little Union flags in the windows. It reminds me of when Kirsti was last in the US and astounded by the number of flags we fly. #Merica
K: TRUE. Y'all need to back off on the flags. It's RIDICULOUS. I have yet to see any private residence in Australia flying the Australian flag. Wait. Maybe the posh place with a freaking turret near my cousin's old high school that usually flies a pirate flag puts up the Australian flag for Australia Day? IDK IDK.
K: TRUE. Y'all need to back off on the flags. It's RIDICULOUS. I have yet to see any private residence in Australia flying the Australian flag. Wait. Maybe the posh place with a freaking turret near my cousin's old high school that usually flies a pirate flag puts up the Australian flag for Australia Day? IDK IDK.