Previously: We read the second book in the His Dark Materials trilogy. — Sweeney: Even though we have recapped nearly every single episode of Game of Thrones already and will...
Previously: Winter came and went. — Democracy Diva: The opening credits continue their reign as the best goddamn thing about this show. The blue ice tiles have stopped flipping over, but...
Previously: 99% of the named characters gathered at Winterfell and prepared to die. — The Long Night Marines: I could intro this for days, but I’ll just say that I’m looking...
Previously: No one is happy Dany is in town. — Catherine: After the previouslies remind us that Jaime shoved a child out of a window eight years ago, we’re taken through...
Previously: A zombie dragon blasted the wall down. — Democracy Diva: We made it. Welcome to the final season. Let’s fucking do this. Marines: There is only one correct gif for this...
Previously: The stupidest plan ever did not end well. — Marines: Hey all! Season 8 of Game of Thrones is premiering THIS WEEK. It’s been a long winter without it. Before...
Previously: The Dragonstone gang came up with the worst plan ever. — Beyond the Wall Catherine: Welcome, friends. Welcome to… this. This episode. Here we go. Democracy Diva: We’re really sorry you...
Previously: The Tyrells got whooped. — The Spoils of War Democracy Diva: The previouslies take us back to early Season 1, with Catelyn saving Bran from a dagger, so you know...
Previously: Euron attacked his niece and many people died. — The Queen’s Justice Catherine: The previouslies remind us that Ellaria killed Myrcella with that crazy lipstick, Yara got taken by Discount...
Previously: Haunted places and homecomings. — Stormborn Marines: The official previouslies remind us of these things: Ellaria, Olena and Varys teamed up; Samwell went home and his dad was a dick;...
Previously: Cersei set everybody on fire. Like, EVERYBODY. — Dragonstone Democracy Diva: Welcome back to Game of Snark Thrones! I’ve missed you all dearly and am ready to cry in all...
It's only been six weeks (at the time of writing this) between recaps, you guys. That's like a hot second to Melisandre. And don't pretend you didn't need some time to digest this madness before digging in. Now that I've made myself feel less guilty for delaying this so long, let's do this fucking finale.
Catherine: Ha! Smart. But honestly, we have so long until the next season starts that us delaying this long just means that you guys won't have to wait that extra six weeks for season 7 posts to start? Maybe?
Catherine: Ha! Smart. But honestly, we have so long until the next season starts that us delaying this long just means that you guys won't have to wait that extra six weeks for season 7 posts to start? Maybe?
Ladies and gentlemen, you could've been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here with us in Winterfell. Are you ready for a BastardBowl?
Catherine: Get hype! We're probably gonna be in tears before this is over.
Diva: We're probably gonna be in tears before this starts.
The previouslies remind us that the battle for Winterfell is imminent, Shireen Baratheon loved the toy stag that Davos gave her (see - I'm already crying!), the Greyjoys are en route to Meereen, and the slavers are trying to blow up Dany's pyramid just as she deboards her dragon.
Catherine: Get hype! We're probably gonna be in tears before this is over.
Diva: We're probably gonna be in tears before this starts.
The previouslies remind us that the battle for Winterfell is imminent, Shireen Baratheon loved the toy stag that Davos gave her (see - I'm already crying!), the Greyjoys are en route to Meereen, and the slavers are trying to blow up Dany's pyramid just as she deboards her dragon.
The previouslies show Tommen agreeing to be in the Cult Miltant, Cersei telling Jaime that he doesn't need to stick around because she's gonna have a trial by combat and she's already got a FrankenMountain for that, The Blackfish sassing Jaime, Sexy Septon getting killed and the Hound getting angry, and Arya getting stabbed a bunch.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Thanks for your patience, Snark Nation! Mari is traveling around the world, recruiting soldiers for the Great War to come, so Catherine and I are going to finish this season up on our own and probably hold each other while we sob. Right? Right.
Catherine: It's so likely that I'm upgrading it from a probably to a definitely. Get ready to emotionally suffer!
Catherine: It's so likely that I'm upgrading it from a probably to a definitely. Get ready to emotionally suffer!