We begin with a news report that tells us, yup, Sam Keating’s body was definitely found, because you guys are bad at getting away with murder. (M: Okay, so don't throw the body away in a trash can. Got it.) Dumbledore’s Army debates whether Annalise ratted them out, and we play another fun round of “no, it’s your fault!”
Meanwhile, Frank is in his car, being angry and bearded.
Annalise is in a hotel room somewhere, crying in bed. She gets up to grab some alcohol from the mini-bar, then we cut to her eating some delicious pasta, ignoring a call from Nate and hopping back into bed. We see this happen again and again- eat, drink, sleep drink- as title cards let us know that this is all taking place from Christmas to New Years. Plus, the show plays to its strengths and we get a few quality shots of Viola Davis's Tears.
Democracy Diva: First of all, there are worse ways to spend a holiday season. Second, I would wear the shit out of a perfume called Viola Davis's Tears.
Democracy Diva: First of all, there are worse ways to spend a holiday season. Second, I would wear the shit out of a perfume called Viola Davis's Tears.
Welcome back to Shondaland! Let's see if the new year has brought us some new love for these characters. Probs not, though.
Marines: I like that you at least mentioned the possibility! That's positive.
Diva: I try.
We begin, as we always should, with a stripped-down, natural Annalise in front of the mirror. This is already so much better than any episode that starts with the murder!bonfire. The Voiceover Police question Annalise about why she thinks her husband murdered Lila. She explains that he's "missing."
Marines: I like that you at least mentioned the possibility! That's positive.
Diva: I try.
We begin, as we always should, with a stripped-down, natural Annalise in front of the mirror. This is already so much better than any episode that starts with the murder!bonfire. The Voiceover Police question Annalise about why she thinks her husband murdered Lila. She explains that he's "missing."
Bonfire night again! Annalise is hastily throwing a bunch of Sam's stuff in a suitcase. She asks how stupid he is, since clearly, Bonnie was going to tell her everything. Sam lied because he was worried that Annalise would think he killed Lila. One sure fire way to look like the murderer is to also be a liar, Sam. You're bad at this.
Annalise throws the suitcase out into the foyer. She says she's done with his lies, she's done covering for him and she's done loving him. Sam pulls the "I'm your husband" card and Annalise is threatens to call the police. In further, "I sure look like a murderer" developments, Sam grabs the phone and throws it against the wall, saying he's not leaving until Annalise talks to him.
Annalise throws the suitcase out into the foyer. She says she's done with his lies, she's done covering for him and she's done loving him. Sam pulls the "I'm your husband" card and Annalise is threatens to call the police. In further, "I sure look like a murderer" developments, Sam grabs the phone and throws it against the wall, saying he's not leaving until Annalise talks to him.
This episode doesn't begin with the improbable bonfire which by itself bums me out for the loss of the familiar. Even worse, it starts with people poking at Lila's mottled corpse. So. Cool. We jump back 6 months earlier to June 2014 when Lila was still alive. She's hanging out with Rebecca and speculating about whether her vagina's going to be all, "Nope, access denied!" because she waited too long to have sex. It's kind of adorable because while that's total bullshit, this conversation is also so completely plausible. Rebecca wonders if the sex talk means that Griffin's given up on that virginity pact and Lila confesses that she met someone whose identity she can't reveal because, "He has a wife." It pleases me to no end when the stars are earned by the people the episode is truly about.
Bonfire, but just for a sec, because then we cut back to 12 Grimmauld Place. Rebecca is drenched in a truly ridiculous amount of blood and Wes is carrying her into the bathroom. He cleans the blood off her her while she just stands there in a daze. She thanks him, and he kisses her. He says it will be fine, because people always say that when there are dead bodies around. We zoom in on Rebecca’s thoughtful face, so it’s clearly The Rebecca Episode.
Marines: The tender blood wiping made me feel icky. Spoiler alert: this is not the ickiest I'll feel this episode.
Sweeney: Giving you a soft introduction to the unpleasant emotions you'll feel is what the teaser's all about.
Marines: The tender blood wiping made me feel icky. Spoiler alert: this is not the ickiest I'll feel this episode.
Sweeney: Giving you a soft introduction to the unpleasant emotions you'll feel is what the teaser's all about.
Improbable bonfire. We cut immediately to Asher, so the improbable bonfire was just to (a) - establish that we are in the future and (b) - keep the bonfire episode opener going on forever. Asher is in his Twlight-movie-blue-filtered apartment dancing around, throwing money, drinking, gyrating, and generally being a lot more carefree than his Dumbledore's Army counterparts in this uncertain future. He's mid-thrusting on the couch when he gets a phone call from someone named Alicia. He wants to go to the bonfire because he has the Murder Weapon Trophy and doesn't have to study. Except he just realizes that Murder Weapon Trophy is gone.
Improbable Bonfire. Dumbledore's Army: Murder Unit (D: A+) jumps from being with the body and its pool of blood on the floor to being out in the woods - basically this is the bridge between the Grimmauld Place scenes and the woodsy Lying Liar Coin Toss. Up the hill from where they're lying low, two people are about to hook up - it's implied that they're a cheatery secret couple and needing to hook up with people in the miserable freezing cold is a great argument in favor of fidelity - but they stop when they hear a phone ringing. They leave rather than investigate, because nobody's trying to get murdered investigating shady noises in the woods. (M: Not even for sex.) Laurel silences her phone very slowly (gotta get those texting gloves, girl!) and Michaela starts whisper yelling at her for telling Frank all of this.
We begin, again, on Murder Night. At 12 Grimmauld Place, we rehash the Michaela is beyond terrified/Connor is verbally abusive and manic/Laurel is trying to stay calm and be helpful/Wes is snuggling Rebecca dynamic. Wes says he needs to get Rebecca out of here while the rest of them go to the woods, since she of all people can’t be found there.
Then there’s an angry knock on the door and everyone panics. It’s Asher, and he is PISSED. Not because of murder!reasons, but because Michaela stole his trophy. They all pretend not to be home, except Connor, who starts cackling like a sociopath. It’s not funny, except when Asher yells, “Are you bitches seriously trying to ignore me right now?” That was weirdly hilarious.
Then there’s an angry knock on the door and everyone panics. It’s Asher, and he is PISSED. Not because of murder!reasons, but because Michaela stole his trophy. They all pretend not to be home, except Connor, who starts cackling like a sociopath. It’s not funny, except when Asher yells, “Are you bitches seriously trying to ignore me right now?” That was weirdly hilarious.
We start at the Improbable Bonfire again and I'll admit that I cheered a little. I don't know what it is about that bonfire. Maybe it represents the few seconds during the beginning where I still understand 100% of what's happening. Namely: FIRE. BIG FIRE.
Democracy Diva: It always just makes me think, FIRE BAD. TREE PRETTY.
Mari: Best thing to come out of that episode.
We zoom, zoom, zoom to 12 Grimmauld Place. Sam Keating (Viola Davis's husband) is all murdered on the floor and Laurel (I think. It's hard to tell in the murder lighting) is just looking at his body.
Democracy Diva: It always just makes me think, FIRE BAD. TREE PRETTY.
Mari: Best thing to come out of that episode.
We zoom, zoom, zoom to 12 Grimmauld Place. Sam Keating (Viola Davis's husband) is all murdered on the floor and Laurel (I think. It's hard to tell in the murder lighting) is just looking at his body.
We open with more shots of Improbable Law School Bonfire. The Chosen Ones are once again fretting about the body disposal issue. This time we learn that the pretty engaged girl who wants Viola Davis's coat/life is angry because, "It's all her fault!" We don't know who "her" refers to yet, but we do know that homegirl just won herself the title star. I'm sure it'll be good for bartering in prison.
Lorraine: Don't spend it all in one day!
Democracy Diva: Or, if you do, spend it a carton of cigarettes, and then you'll have things to trade forever! #protips
Lorraine: Don't spend it all in one day!
Democracy Diva: Or, if you do, spend it a carton of cigarettes, and then you'll have things to trade forever! #protips
Democracy Diva: Welcome, Traumateers! I am thrilled to be using my status as a barred-but-under-employed attorney to help Sweeney and Lorraine snark the new Shonda Rhimes drama "How to Get Away with Murder."
Lorraine: I'm cracking up already. #livingthedream
Sweeney: You too can spend lots of money/time/sanity on law school so that you can write about it on the internet. For free.
Diva: Like a boss.
Lorraine: I'm cracking up already. #livingthedream
Sweeney: You too can spend lots of money/time/sanity on law school so that you can write about it on the internet. For free.
Diva: Like a boss.