This show ended up taking Sweeney and I by surprise for a reason that's unique to our experience: it's a pain in the ass to recap. Part of what intrigues me about the whole Snark Squad project has a lot to do with the material we pick and cover and how it lends itself to scrutiny. It's hard to tell what a recapping experience will be like before we get a few posts under our belts. Anyway, the point is that this is better than average material that just takes SO. LONG. to cover. I'll go into the construction of this season a little more at the end, but there was never an easy way to recap one of these episodes. It was always a many, many hour ordeal.
Which also (partly) explains why this is so late.
Alison returns to her garage telling Donnie that she cleaned the car. Donnie's having a much more appropriate, "What have I done?" reaction over the corpse. Alison's all business and while that's probably more productive for them not getting caught it's also an entirely terrifying quality to witness. Donnie's, "I'm going to throw up," as they wrap the body up and toss it in their extra freezer is how I assume a person who is not insane should handle hiding a corpse they murdered.
Lorraine: TRUE. We've seen how jittery and nervous Alison can be, but I'd venture to say it's generally a before/after the fact reaction. In the moment, she's going to do what needs to be done.
Sweeney: It's a fine line. I get that she's doing "what needs to be done" to protect their family now, but her callousness about it still makes me uneasy.
Lorraine: TRUE. We've seen how jittery and nervous Alison can be, but I'd venture to say it's generally a before/after the fact reaction. In the moment, she's going to do what needs to be done.
Sweeney: It's a fine line. I get that she's doing "what needs to be done" to protect their family now, but her callousness about it still makes me uneasy.
At Alison's They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab & I Went Facility, she and Vic the Dick are doing an arts and crafts project - place settings for Family Day. Alison explains that her friend Aynsley thought she was better than her and, as such, deserved what she got. She hesitates, but after pressing from Vic, Alison confesses to sleeping with Aynsley's husband aaaaaand kind-of-sort-of killing her.
Ali reflects on Ainsley clawing at the countertop and then takes a deep breath and tells Vic how great it feels to say it out loud. Vic's, "Well, shit," face is one I share. Also, Alison made him some gloves and if he knows what's good for him, he'll be damned excited about them.
Ali reflects on Ainsley clawing at the countertop and then takes a deep breath and tells Vic how great it feels to say it out loud. Vic's, "Well, shit," face is one I share. Also, Alison made him some gloves and if he knows what's good for him, he'll be damned excited about them.
Clone Sister Camping! Camping is not a thing that I want to do ever, but I imagine that camping with your homicidal twin is a new level discomfort, care of nature and the outdoors. Helena, being humanized a little more every episode, shares her can of beans with Sarah and insists she has to eat something. Sarah notes that Cold River isn't on a map. She wants to know where it is exactly, but Helena won't tell her, because if Sarah knew, she'd leave Helena behind. Sarah doesn't refute this. (S: Awkward.)
Helena abruptly changes the subject and asks if she can also have babies since Sarah has Kira and they are twins. Sarah connects that this probably has something to do with what the Proletheans did to her, but Helena isn't forthcoming.
Helena abruptly changes the subject and asks if she can also have babies since Sarah has Kira and they are twins. Sarah connects that this probably has something to do with what the Proletheans did to her, but Helena isn't forthcoming.
The morning after the clone-twin murderunion, Rachel's apartment is now a crime scene, albeit an internal Dyad-run-crime-scene. Rachel arrives, not having anyone suggesting Daniel's body is too gruesome for her to see. She closes his dead eyes and the tender moment is cut short when she corrects Aldous's suggestion of Daniel's loyalty: "to you." Everyone's instantly aware that this is Helena's work, not Sarah's. There is security footage of the twins leaving together. There's a cryptic reference to whatever happened in Taiwan, but we only learn that Paul did his job well. Rachel finds the home movie of hers that Sarah watched. Aldous suggests that all of this has only happened because of her heavy-handed tactics, but Rachel says she's "only just begun."
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
Seeing as how the last episode ended with some implied rape, I'm kind of scared. I'm going to be flinching the whole time. We start moments after Sarah's car wreck. She comes to and sees Daniel next to her, passed out and bleeding. Cal opens the driver's side door and apologizes for the crash. He didn't know what else to do. Sarah grabs the Project Leda picture and Daniel's gun as Cal says they have to call the cops. LOL. Sorry, I never get tired of laughing at people suggesting someone call the cops.
Sweeney: THEY NEVER DO. The only people who call the cops are the rare characters who actually call the cops without having silly lines of dialogue in which they ponder at whether or not law enforcement should be involved in their very dangerous situation.
Sweeney: THEY NEVER DO. The only people who call the cops are the rare characters who actually call the cops without having silly lines of dialogue in which they ponder at whether or not law enforcement should be involved in their very dangerous situation.
Sarah wakes up in the stolen pickup truck out in the middle of nowhere. It's a really pretty shot, but Felix isn't finding this camping thing all that pretty. Sarah's wearing leather pants which seem like a really bad choice for life on the run. ETERNAL SWAMP ASS. (L: Plus, it clearly outs her as a BAD GIRL.) Sarah catches Felix up on what happened with Mrs. S and The Birdwatchers, (Sounds like a band name!) adding that it seemed like this wasn't Mrs. S's first murder. Felix decides he's really had his fill of camping when he steps in a pile of shit and Sarah laughs. Don't laugh girl, you're going to have to ride in a car with that. (L: Plus, those with eternal swamp ass can't be judgers.) Felix decides that they 100% need to get to civilization now.
The soundtrack squeals and we fade into a hospital room where Helena is fading in and out of consciousness. There is a police officer there, taking pictures and collecting evidence. He asks the same question I had last episode: how is she even alive? Almost in response to him, Helena starts convulsing and the nurse rushes to her aid.
Meanwhile, Art is asking Sarah what the Proletheans want with Kira. She doesn't know. Everyone wants Kira, and probably not to play with puzzles and finger paints. There's a knock at the door and Sarah lets Felix in. He immediately comforts Sarah by letting her know they will find Kira. Felix greets "Arthur," but adds a grumble about how he can't believe Sarah let a cop into Clone Club. Yeah, I'm having a hard time with that one too, Fee.
Meanwhile, Art is asking Sarah what the Proletheans want with Kira. She doesn't know. Everyone wants Kira, and probably not to play with puzzles and finger paints. There's a knock at the door and Sarah lets Felix in. He immediately comforts Sarah by letting her know they will find Kira. Felix greets "Arthur," but adds a grumble about how he can't believe Sarah let a cop into Clone Club. Yeah, I'm having a hard time with that one too, Fee.
It's same night as the events of the S1 finale and Sarah is running in the rain (though it wasn't raining then). (L: It started raining because she's distraught and TV weather is effected by the MC's emotions. Everyone knows that.) (S: True. We learned that lesson watching Ever After - her mood didn't call for rain until the very end of that episode.) She leaves Felix a voicemail explaining that Mrs. S and Kira are missing. She ducks into a small, empty diner, where the proprietor hooks her up with free tea. She tries to call the other pink clone phones, but they're disconnected. She finally tries Paul and leaves him a voicemail that she needs to talk immediately about her missing family. Seconds later, she gets a return call from his number, but it's Rachel.