I must preface this recap with my usual ‘I have no idea what’s going on’ disclaimer. I’ve done a few OC recaps now, but I haven’t kept up with what’s been happening between each one. I hope you find my confusion charming and endearing.
We kick things off at a nightclub. Summer and Seth are watching Ryan and some girl… wait, is that Rosalie from Twilight? It totally is! Weird. OK, I’ve looked her up and her name is Sadie.
Marines: She's been around for a few episodes but every time I see her face, I go "wait, is that Rosalie from Twilight..?!" Weird forever.
We start in Meereen. Dany is in her magically white dress, on her throne, looking down on Jorah and Tyrion in icy silence. Jorah breaks the silence, but Dany promptly tells him to shut up. She asks how she's supposed to know Tyrion is who he says he is and why she shouldn't kill him if he is. Tyrion says that if she wants revenge on the Lannisters, he's a a pro at killing them.
An alleyway somewhere in London. "VOTE SAXON" posters are plastered all over the walls. A blue swirly vortex appears and out pop Jack, Martha and the Doctor, courtesy of Jack's wrist cuff. They all immediately make NYARGH-y sounds because time travel without a capsule is horrible. Jack's impressed that they made it to the right place and the right time, but the Doctor says "That wasn't luck. That was me."
You may remember in early September that we did a little poll to pick a new Fall 2015 show to review. Lots of you guys voted for Supergirl and it won, you may also remember. (S: Thank god it wasn't Scream Queens, thank god it wasn't Scream Queens.) (M: It can't be as bad as Gotham, it can't be as bad as Gotham.) (C: Not a high bar, you guys.)
You may not remember much else but that's okay, because I'm here to help.
You may not remember much else but that's okay, because I'm here to help.
The TARDIS materializes and the Doctor announces they are in Cardiff. Martha is like, "CARDIFF?" so he has to explain that Cardiff is built on a rift in time and space. He stops here every now and then to refuel. The Doctor says it should only take 20 seconds, but also notes that the rift has been active.
We cut outside. Someone is running toward the TARDIS, but we don't quite see his face. Some of you may notice that the Torchwood theme is playing. I didn't notice but I always watch with closed captioning, so.
We cut outside. Someone is running toward the TARDIS, but we don't quite see his face. Some of you may notice that the Torchwood theme is playing. I didn't notice but I always watch with closed captioning, so.
Capeside High. Pacey and Joey wander adorably, hand in hand. He gripes about how he's been called to the guidance office already, and she quips that maybe they just want to tell him how supportive they are of his future as a gas station attendant. Harsh, Jo. Pacey, meanwhile, wants to discuss couple-y things. Namely, public displays of affection and whether they're acceptable at school.
Pacephine is fishing and kissing to the delight of millions. Unfortunately, they're only a few hours from Capeside, when Pacey pitches the idea to just live off the boat LITERALLY FOREVER. And just never go back. He speechifies about how they'd only miss recycled plot lines and other meta things like that, and they should probably just never go back and continue making out. Then they jump off the boat holding hands in slow motion.
We open basically where we left off, with Sam locked in Bobby's panic room. Dean opens the hatch on the door and Sam demands to be let out. But Dean's all "LOL NOPE" because Junkie Sam needs to get clean. Sam insists that it's a bullshit comparison because he's not doing it to get high. He's doing it to get strong enough to defeat Lilith. Dean scoffs and says he's being weak and pathetic.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.
Marin Manor- Hanna's room. Spencer and Emily are taking on our job momentarily and poking holes in Ali's Noel-scares-Hanna's-mom plan from last episode. Spencer's particularly grumpy with her horse-kicked eye. (M: I'd be grumpy about everything with a horse-kicked-eye.) They all question Ali's decision but she snaps at them that Noel is the one she can trust, since all they do is ignore her SOS calls and spy on her every move. She storms out to go call her dad.
We open with Dean sitting on the end of the world's smallest dock. He's fishing, and he looks peaceful and happy for the first time in EVER.
Castiel appears behind him and says they need to talk. Dean's all "Noooooo, get out of my happy place", and asks if he's dreaming. Cas confirms that he is, and says they need to talk somewhere private. Dean's confused because they're in his head. Cas is all "Yeah, people could be listening". He hands Dean a piece of paper, tells him to meet him there ASAP, and disappears. Dean wakes with a start.
Castiel appears behind him and says they need to talk. Dean's all "Noooooo, get out of my happy place", and asks if he's dreaming. Cas confirms that he is, and says they need to talk somewhere private. Dean's confused because they're in his head. Cas is all "Yeah, people could be listening". He hands Dean a piece of paper, tells him to meet him there ASAP, and disappears. Dean wakes with a start.
At the manor, Prue is taking "artistic" photos of Piper, who's moping by the window and watching Dan come home alone like one of those sad, loser single people. Prue tells her to cheer up because Leo is in town for dinner and a movie. Oh boy, I can't wait. It's her first real date with Leo as a normal couple, although I'm not entirely sure why since she's still a witch and he's a Whitelighter again, but sure, whatever.
We open on a video game match between the boys. Summer is bored, while Seth is certain that he doesn’t need to prep for his interview with Brown. Seeing as this is TV, and he’s one of the main characters, he’s probably right. New Girl (aka Sadie) comes in and challenges Seth to a video game off, which is CRAZY because she is a girl! But she does it anyway.
Ryan and Summer grab drinks in the other room and discuss how it’s totally not awkward that Ryan isn’t dating Marissa anymore.
Ryan and Summer grab drinks in the other room and discuss how it’s totally not awkward that Ryan isn’t dating Marissa anymore.
Look, let's deal with the elephant in the room: Supernatural is throwing shade on the fact that it's gotten beyond ridiculous, and yet we're only in season 4. We have so many more seasons of shark jumping left, friends.
Marines: I've seen this whole episode and I'm actually surprised that this is the one they chose to name "Jump the Shark."
K: Truth.
We open with a long shot down a hallway. After a bizarrely long period of silence, a woman bursts onto the screen, screaming. She stares back behind her, then sprints down the hall and locks herself in a bedroom.
Marines: I've seen this whole episode and I'm actually surprised that this is the one they chose to name "Jump the Shark."
K: Truth.
We open with a long shot down a hallway. After a bizarrely long period of silence, a woman bursts onto the screen, screaming. She stares back behind her, then sprints down the hall and locks herself in a bedroom.
I'm really curious to recap this episode, because it's easily been one of my favourites up until now. (Which is odd because it's written by Steven Moffat, and I've basically hated everything about his time as show runner...) But favourite things don't always stand up to being watched incredibly slowly, so...we'll see.
We open with CAREY MULLIGAN!!! climbing over a creepy fence into the grounds of a creepy house in the creepy rain accompanied by creepy music. There's a "Danger: Keep Out" sign on the gate.
We open with CAREY MULLIGAN!!! climbing over a creepy fence into the grounds of a creepy house in the creepy rain accompanied by creepy music. There's a "Danger: Keep Out" sign on the gate.
A bunch of old women stand in a circle, calling on something named Cryto. One of the ladies has a little coughing fit, but she urges the others to keep chanting. Even though they've been at it for 15 minutes, she's sure Cryto will show up.
Stephanie: Before we get any further can we just take a moment to go WTF at the weird Leatherfaceness of this episode's title?
Mari: Absolutely!
Stephanie: Before we get any further can we just take a moment to go WTF at the weird Leatherfaceness of this episode's title?
Mari: Absolutely!