A young woman (Allison) walks through a garden having lots of feelings. We know this because she touches a rose and sighs. She's met by a man (Elliot) who hands her a white rose. She says they've spent lots of time planning their wedding and she doesn't want anything to go wrong.
Their kiss is interrupted by a woman with an uptight hairdo, asking Elliot, her son, about the marriage certificate. They couple has plans to get it handled the next day but Mommy Uptight wants them to do it RIGHT NOW. Elliot asks what her deal is, but she doesn't answer because the soundtrack just whooshed at her.
Neptune High Parking Lot. Veronica's car has stopped and lots of people are honking at her and generally being shit waffles because they SEE Veronica is having issues, so why honk? Logan and his Brogans are casually passing by, in "making jokes about poor people" distance. Logan is carving up an apple and Veronica grabs his knife all while brushing off their subpar insults.
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
This show ended up taking Sweeney and I by surprise for a reason that's unique to our experience: it's a pain in the ass to recap. Part of what intrigues me about the whole Snark Squad project has a lot to do with the material we pick and cover and how it lends itself to scrutiny. It's hard to tell what a recapping experience will be like before we get a few posts under our belts. Anyway, the point is that this is better than average material that just takes SO. LONG. to cover. I'll go into the construction of this season a little more at the end, but there was never an easy way to recap one of these episodes. It was always a many, many hour ordeal.
Which also (partly) explains why this is so late.
Which also (partly) explains why this is so late.
Shrine O'Spielberg. Dawson and Joey are having a disaster movie marathon because there's a hurricane a-blowin'. Gail and her not-so-secret lover Bob are covering the storm on TV, and are overtly flirting with each other during the broadcast because they're bad at secrets. Dawson's parents still don't know that he knows about the affair, and he's too tired to deal with feelings, so he asks Joey, "You mind if I sack?" Is this an actual thing that humans say? (K: Maybe it was in the 90s??) Anyway, Joey basically tells him to deal with his shit instead of hiding out in the storm. Instead, he broods and watches his mother and her mastress (man-mistress? Guys, it's so sexist that there isn't a word for this!) on the news.
We open with Ryan and my boyfriend Seth Cohen (Just to be clear, I just want Seth, aint even 'bout to homewreck the first couple of teen fandom: Adam Brody/Leighton Meester) in true show-set-in-California style, riding a bike and skateboard (adorably) down a boardwalk with flashes to random dudes playing beach volleyball to further indicate being in a coastal town in SoCal.
Sweeney: The best part of having different recappers write their posts, mostly without ever seeing the posts that came before them is going to be seeing how many people stake their claim on Seth Cohen. Since you're my sister I feel especially obligated to interject with a, "HE WAS MY TV BOYFRIEND FIRST!" even though I've accepted that he's actually everyone's TV boyfriend.
Sweeney: The best part of having different recappers write their posts, mostly without ever seeing the posts that came before them is going to be seeing how many people stake their claim on Seth Cohen. Since you're my sister I feel especially obligated to interject with a, "HE WAS MY TV BOYFRIEND FIRST!" even though I've accepted that he's actually everyone's TV boyfriend.
Phoebe runs into Qua ke and some bro comes over to ask if she's a terrorist because she's the bomb. As much as I'm sure I could end the recap there, another random bro taps into this bad pick-up line ring, asking if it hurt when Phoebe fell from heaven. She whispers in his ear that she's a witch, not an angel, because she's on a one woman mission to basically announce that to everyone, ever.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.
Phoebe joins her sisters, who are staring at a couple making out at the bar. Phoebe and Piper moan about being single. A cheery waitress delivers a drink to Prue and points out the man in the restaurant who sent it to her.
We open in Dawson's Shrine o' Spielberg. He's watching his footage back (read: creepily talking about how perfect Jen is) while Joey sasses about how Jen's future is sooooooooo predictable - she'll go to a small liberal arts college, major in art history, move back to Manhattan, marry a stockbroker, move to the suburbs and raise neurotically perfect children. Dawson changes the subject to what he should get his parents for their wedding anniversary, and um, NOTHING??? Unless buying your parents an anniversary present is a thing in America and I'm not aware of it?!
Democracy Diva: Yeah, definitely have never done that. I think maybe I gave them a card when we had a big dinner for their 30th anniversary, but in general, this is not a thing in my circles.
Democracy Diva: Yeah, definitely have never done that. I think maybe I gave them a card when we had a big dinner for their 30th anniversary, but in general, this is not a thing in my circles.
After a lot of previouslies we open with Seth and Ryan playing video games. Ryan has mastered the art and is beating Seth. The student has become the master so to say. Just then, the Cohen parents walk in, wanting to talk to Ryan. The suspense is killing all of us, I know, right?! Like, what could this possibly be about? Seth is being his weird self, mentioning something about the rug which I have no idea whether it will be necessary information or is just a stupid throwaway comment. Moving on.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
Andy tells Prue that he was nowhere in the neighborhood and decided to stop by. Prue appreciates his honesty. I still think that on the scale of trying too hard, he's landing on the side of "weird." He's got an early birthday gift for her and it comes in a Tiffany blue box but is in no way related to jewelery. What Prue gets is a key to a room at the Calistoga Spa and they leave in a week. I'm not sure what kind of hotel is in the habit of giving physical keys a week before check-in but OKAY. Maybe the key is a more symbolic.
Prue is hesitant so Andy clarifies that he got them adjoining rooms, because he respects her wish to take it slow. He asks her to think about it, gives her a kiss and leaves. "Happy birthday to me," she says in a tone I can't quite figure out because acting is hard.
Prue is hesitant so Andy clarifies that he got them adjoining rooms, because he respects her wish to take it slow. He asks her to think about it, gives her a kiss and leaves. "Happy birthday to me," she says in a tone I can't quite figure out because acting is hard.
We begin in the Mars Investigations Offices with Veronica tutoring Weevil in math. This scene not only gives us some adorable Veronica/Weevil time but also reminds us that the gang leader with the heart of gold is not only sweeter than he lets on, but smarter than the school system gives him credit for. He dismisses a word problem he doesn't want to answer by giving Bob the fictional Word Problem Guy some financial advice. I'm overselling this - that advice was basically, "Illegal stuff makes a lot of money!"
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
CARRY ON MY WAAAAYWARD SOOOOOOOOON. Sorry. It's the pointy end of the season, and that means we start with a full recap of the season and the show's unofficial theme song. It's a sure sign that heartbreak isn't far away.
Blue Earth, Minnesota. The camera pans over a stained glass window and down to a priest, flicking through a Bible. Meg walks in, and says she needs someone to talk to about all the terrible things she's done. The priest says salvation was created for sinners, earning himself a shiny gold star
Blue Earth, Minnesota. The camera pans over a stained glass window and down to a priest, flicking through a Bible. Meg walks in, and says she needs someone to talk to about all the terrible things she's done. The priest says salvation was created for sinners, earning himself a shiny gold star
The episode begins with Dawson and Joey watching an old movie starring Deborah Kerr about people making out on the beach uber-passionately. Did this show make it clear that Dawson loves movies? Because you guys, DAWSON LOVES MOVIES. And obsessing over what his first kiss with Jen should be like.
Kirsti: OMG, REALLY? Shit. I had no idea. They should have made that more obvious.
Diva: Joey mostly thinks he should shut up and, in the immortal words of Sebastian the Crab, kiss de girl, but Dawson thinks this perfect, life-altering moment needs to be storyboarded, because he's a bit of a nut job.
Kirsti: OMG, REALLY? Shit. I had no idea. They should have made that more obvious.
Diva: Joey mostly thinks he should shut up and, in the immortal words of Sebastian the Crab, kiss de girl, but Dawson thinks this perfect, life-altering moment needs to be storyboarded, because he's a bit of a nut job.
Hello, Snark Nation! It's a pleasure to be covering this episode of The O.C., one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure shows. I had pictures of Seth Cohen on my wall and the show's soundtracks playing on a constant loop throughout my high school career, so I feel qualified to present you with this recap.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
The Halliwell sisters bicker lightly as they leave the Manor. Prue doesn't want to go to some housewarming party, Phoebe definitely does, and Piper tries to distract her sisters with tales of bad hair day.
A dog with weird, glowy eyes watches the sisters as they cross the street to the party. The girls find their new neighbors, siblings Marshall, Fritz and Cynda. Once small talk is done, Prue wants to leave, but Phoebe directs her attention to where Andy is standing nearby. They've set her up. Phoebe and Piper shuffle off as Andy comes over to ask Prue out again. He's rejected. Again.
A dog with weird, glowy eyes watches the sisters as they cross the street to the party. The girls find their new neighbors, siblings Marshall, Fritz and Cynda. Once small talk is done, Prue wants to leave, but Phoebe directs her attention to where Andy is standing nearby. They've set her up. Phoebe and Piper shuffle off as Andy comes over to ask Prue out again. He's rejected. Again.
Remember that time like two years ago that Lor and Sweeney covered a bunch of pilot episodes and one of them was Dawson's Creek? SURPRISE! We're going to cover the rest of it. I was a Dawson's Creek fan from basically the minute it aired in Australia, although I stopped watching sometime around the point where they all went off to college because it was the contrivance-iest contrivance ever that they would all end up in Boston. But whatever. I revisited the series a couple of years ago, and re-established the fact that I will always and forever be on Team Pacey.
Democracy Diva: I wasn't particularly interested in Dawson's Creek when it was new, but I developed a mid-aughts interest in it and have seen the first few seasons.
Democracy Diva: I wasn't particularly interested in Dawson's Creek when it was new, but I developed a mid-aughts interest in it and have seen the first few seasons.