Supernatural S05 E07 – Dean is Hamiltrash.

We open with a woman on the couch reading one of those trashy magazines that declares the Apocolypse here. A man comes in the front door and she greets him but he just runs straight upstairs. He heads into the bathroom all sweaty and panicked. He looks into the mirror as his skin begins to wrinkle and his hair falls out. He turns into an old old man and collapses into a cabinet. (K: It's very...Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)

Supernatural S05 E06 – Don’t piss off small children

Is anyone else going to spend the next eternity with that stupid song lodged in their brain on an endless loop, or is that just me?
Anyway. Alliance, Nebraska. A college aged girl sits way too close to the TV, brushing her hair. There's a noise from the back of the room. She looks around, a little freaked, and the music gets all "OMG WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS IS SO TENSE!!" as she walks slowly towards a big cupboard. She pulls open the door, and the kid she's babysitting is in there, pretending to be dead. He's got one of those fake arrow headbands on, and has covered himself in tomato sauce. (That's ketchup to you, America.)

Supernatural S05 E05 – What’s a VIN number?

Confession time. Whenever I rewatch this show I usually skip the teaser at the beginning, if it doesn't have the boys in it. Why? Because at one point I developed a weird fear that someday I will be the person in a teaser-like situation. Yes, I am aware that monsters are not real but also you never know, you know? They always end bad and bloody and I've just taken to avoiding them. The things I do because I love you all.

Supernatural S05 E04 – The angels have the phone box.

The previouslies remind us of the Croatoan virus and I suddenly get very excited because I just remembered which episode this is. Also how much of a bitch it was to find gifs for Croatoan when I recapped it JUST after Croatoan Day last year. BUT I DIGRESS. (S: Croatoan is one of my top ten favorite episodes so I also get excited for this one.) (K: Legit.)
Dean pulls the Bromobile up on a city street and hops out. An escapee from the Book of Mormon cast asks if Dean's taken time to consider God's plan for him. "Too friggin' much, pal," Dean says with an eyeroll.

Supernatural S05 E03 – With these hungry eyes

We open at a Motel of the Week where Sam is sleeping all by his lonesome. And shirtless. Which I only point out because it’s super rare for the guys to be shirtless on this show. I think I remember reading somewhere once that J2 specifically asked for that to be the case. So I always find it interesting when it does happen. Anyway, yeah, Sam is sleeping and I swear he looks broody and troubled even in his sleep. Nothing is safe from manpain.

Supernatural S05 E02 – Man jewellery and manpain

After a hundred thousand years of previouslies (M: One year for every current season of Supernatural...) (K: #accurate), we open in Bobby's hospital room. He's sitting in a wheelchair, staring sadly out the window. I find it hilarious that he's wearing a dressing gown and his trucker's cap. Sam watches from the doorway. Dean appears and says they have to cheer Bobby up. Sam says they need to prepare themselves for Bobby not bouncing back this time. Dean looks feelsy.

Supernatural S05 E01 – Go read your books elsewhere.

Hi everyone! I’m crazy excited to be joining in with the Supernatural recaps! I’m in Kirsti’s "Jon Know" neck of the woods. I have super Winchester brothers love and feels, while also the major acknowledgment that this show and the boys can be incredibly misogynistic and frustrating. I, uh, also own a necklace with Dean’s face on it, because I’ve been in love with him since 2007. So. Just getting the embarrassing outta the way at the gate. And without further ado, lets start Season 5!

Supernatural S04 Wrap Up

It's been a long time coming, friends, but we FINALLY finished season 4!! Admittedly, this probably would have rolled around a lot sooner if 31 Days of Twilight hadn't stolen all our time, but WHATEVER. Totally worth it.
Oh, and before I forget, let's have our obligatory end-of-season dance party:

Supernatural S04 E22 – Just drink.

LOOK AT ME! I'm recapping an episode of Supernatural!
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.

Supernatural S04 E21 – Better dead than evil.

We open basically where we left off, with Sam locked in Bobby's panic room. Dean opens the hatch on the door and Sam demands to be let out. But Dean's all "LOL NOPE" because Junkie Sam needs to get clean. Sam insists that it's a bullshit comparison because he's not doing it to get high. He's doing it to get strong enough to defeat Lilith. Dean scoffs and says he's being weak and pathetic.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.

Supernatural S04 E20 – Meet the meat suit

We open with Dean sitting on the end of the world's smallest dock. He's fishing, and he looks peaceful and happy for the first time in EVER.
Castiel appears behind him and says they need to talk. Dean's all "Noooooo, get out of my happy place", and asks if he's dreaming. Cas confirms that he is, and says they need to talk somewhere private. Dean's confused because they're in his head. Cas is all "Yeah, people could be listening". He hands Dean a piece of paper, tells him to meet him there ASAP, and disappears. Dean wakes with a start.

Supernatural S04 E19 – Surprise siblings

Look, let's deal with the elephant in the room: Supernatural is throwing shade on the fact that it's gotten beyond ridiculous, and yet we're only in season 4. We have so many more seasons of shark jumping left, friends.
Marines: I've seen this whole episode and I'm actually surprised that this is the one they chose to name "Jump the Shark."
K: Truth.
We open with a long shot down a hallway. After a bizarrely long period of silence, a woman bursts onto the screen, screaming. She stares back behind her, then sprints down the hall and locks herself in a bedroom.

Supernatural S04 E18 – Fandom nods 101

We open in a messy house, with a scruffy looking guy asleep in his underwear on the sofa. The shot flickers and he twitches in his sleep, then we're thrown into a montage of shots of various things, including Sam and the Bromobile in a weird grey-scale. Then we get a close up of a guy reaching for a comic book and the colour resolves. The boys walk in and introduce themselves as Agents DeYoung and Shaw, both of whom are in Styx. WOO, FAKE NAMES.

Supernatural S04 E17 – Bizarro World

We open on an alarm going off at 6am. Well Respected Man by The Kinks starts playing as we watch Dean go about his morning - living in a posh apartment, wearing an expensive suit, making himself a fancy coffee, and driving to work in a Prius. When he starts the car, classic rock starts playing. He looks disgusted and changes the station to NPR.
He gets to work - a fancy high rise downtown - and his office door informs us that his name is Dean Smith and he's head of Sales and Marketing for Sandover Iron.

Supernatural S04 E16 – Get on with it

We open to a bunch of car alarms going off. The cars are all smashed to shit. Castiel walks into the middle of them and raises a hand. The alarms stop, because he's...the car whisperer or some shit? I don't even know any more. (M: A little known and seldom useful angel power.)
Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. "Goodbye, sister," he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring.