Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Exterior: A big beautiful house, with a voiceover of a small child saying Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which is super creepy. I will be sure to discourage my child from saying that prayer and also singing creepy children's songs. Sorry, kid. Mama doesn't want to accidentally punt you across the room in a moment of fear.
Kirsti: Valid life choice. Especially as the version that I've always heard here is the "if I die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take" one. Which, YES, let's teach small children that they might die in their sleep. That's a GENIUS plan!! O.o (Vaguely related - I'm going to spend the rest of this episode singing Enter Sandman, because reasons.)
Richardson, Texas, two months ago. A group of teens walk through the woods in the middle of the night and find an abandoned log cabin. Because they're idiots, they decide to head inside. There are all kinds of weird occult-y symbols painted on the walls and floors. The dude manning the flashlight tells his friends that "they" say there's a ghost who hides in the root cellar and strings up girls who stumble into the house. One friend is sceptical, wanting to know where he heard the legend. From his cousin, apparently. Sceptical Guy grabs the flashlight and leads the way down to the cellar. He scoffs about how all the cellar contains is random junk, but the others are staring in horror at something behind him. He turns and sees a girl hanging by her neck from the rafters. He screams and lightning flashes us to the Not!Credits.
Chicago, Illinois. A girl walks home late at night, listening to her iPod. She starts seeing a ghostly wind that has a big shadow and whispers really annoyingly, so she takes off running for her apartment. Smart move. She immediately arms her security system and breathes a sigh of relief. Then for some reason, she doesn't turn one damn light on in the whole place as she drinks a beer and listens to her messages on her answering machine. Right, because every 20 something owns an answering machine these days? And even if they did, they sure as shit wouldn't have three messages just from one night away at work.
Anyways, the camera pans back and we watch the shadows on the wall as something creeps up behind Beer Girl and stabs her in the back, blood squirting everywhere.
Anyways, the camera pans back and we watch the shadows on the wall as something creeps up behind Beer Girl and stabs her in the back, blood squirting everywhere.
Hibbing, Minnesota. A middle-grade kid sits up in bed watching monster movies. He hears a noise outside and goes to the window to see his neighbour taking out the garbage. The kid watches as said neighbour hears a scrape-y noise and bends down to look under a car. Neighbour Guy gets dragged under the car, screaming. The kid pulls his curtains shut in a "Well, fuck. That's above my pay grade" way.
Cut to two state police interviewing LOL NOPE Kid [LNK] and his mother. Obviously, the deputies are, in fact, the Winchesters.
Cut to two state police interviewing LOL NOPE Kid [LNK] and his mother. Obviously, the deputies are, in fact, the Winchesters.
A man pulls into his garage and cuts the car off. He starts to gather his stuff to get out, but looks confused when the garage door starts closing behind him. As he's turned around, staring at the garage door, the keys crank the car again and the automatic doors lock. (My dad brags about his manual locks all the time. Guess he wouldn't be in this situation, now would he?) (K: My dad's the same but with his refusal to get automatic garage doors. "If the power goes out, *I* can still leave!" Okay, Dad. Whatever.) Doomed To Die tries to turn the ignition off, but the keys are stuck and he starts to panic as the car and garage start to fill up with smoke.
Kirsti: Like, INSTANTLY.
Kirsti: Like, INSTANTLY.
Before we start, I should mention that this week's episode involves racism and general race-related ickiness. If that makes you uncomfortable and you want to bug out while you can, I totally understand and we'll see you back here for some irresponsible parenting and psychic weirdness next week. YAY?
Cape Girardeau, Missouri. (A place I know only because Emily used to live there) A middle aged black guy is driving down Route 6 when his radio starts to get all static-y and weird. He shuts it off as headlights flare out the back window. A big-ass truck accelerates towards him. He speeds up to get away from it, but the truck accelerates again and smashes into the back of his car. Suddenly, the radio switches back on and he notices that the truck has vanished.
Cape Girardeau, Missouri. (A place I know only because Emily used to live there) A middle aged black guy is driving down Route 6 when his radio starts to get all static-y and weird. He shuts it off as headlights flare out the back window. A big-ass truck accelerates towards him. He speeds up to get away from it, but the truck accelerates again and smashes into the back of his car. Suddenly, the radio switches back on and he notices that the truck has vanished.
Dean and Sam are getting weapons out of the trunk of the Bromobile and saying that they only have one shot to make it count. (What it is, we have no idea.) They rush down some stairs and into a basement where they find two little kids cowering in a closet. When they ask the kids if it's still there, they nod. The boys try to send the kids out, but the Creature of the Moment pushes Sam down the stairs, like a real jerk. Dean tells Sam to get the kids out of there while he handles the Creature.
Kirsti: Excuse me while I have a lot of Dean protecting small children feels. Because OBVIOUSLY.
Kirsti: Excuse me while I have a lot of Dean protecting small children feels. Because OBVIOUSLY.
Burkitsville, Indiana, one year ago. A young couple are ushered out of a restaurant at night by a motherly looking type who gives them an apple pie for the road. Her husband finishes filling their car and gives them polite directions to the interstate. Their niece admires the guy's tattoo as he gets in the car. The young couple gush about how nice everyone is in town and head out.
A short distance out of town, their car dies. The girl is not pleased to discover that they also have no phone reception. They get out of the car and spy a light through the trees of an apple orchard. The guy heads towards it, and the girl reluctantly follows. Part way in, they come across a creep-tastic scarecrow and stare at it for way longer than I would. The guy calls it "the freakiest damn scarecrow I've ever seen," thereby earning himself a gold star a mere two minutes into the episode. Well done, sir!
A short distance out of town, their car dies. The girl is not pleased to discover that they also have no phone reception. They get out of the car and spy a light through the trees of an apple orchard. The guy heads towards it, and the girl reluctantly follows. Part way in, they come across a creep-tastic scarecrow and stare at it for way longer than I would. The guy calls it "the freakiest damn scarecrow I've ever seen," thereby earning himself a gold star a mere two minutes into the episode. Well done, sir!
After some previouslies, we start at the Roosevelt Asylum in Rockford, Illinois, which sounds like exactly the place I never want to be. (The asylum part, not the Illinois part.) The creepy cameraman shows some anonymous hands (A?!) cutting through a chain on the door and sneaking in.
Cut to outside, and two cops are pulling up outside of the asylum. One of the cops says that they can't seem to keep kids out of this place and the other cop asks what it is. Exposity Cop is like, "Oh, I forgot you're new in town and don't know the plot of this episode, so let me fill you and the viewers in real quick about the legend of this asylum." Supposedly the asylum is haunted with the ghosts of the patients, and if you spend the night, they'll drive you insane. That's cool and all, but I'm pretty sure the majority of what's happening in that place (if it's anything like my small Louisiana town) is lots of pot smoking and sex.
Cut to outside, and two cops are pulling up outside of the asylum. One of the cops says that they can't seem to keep kids out of this place and the other cop asks what it is. Exposity Cop is like, "Oh, I forgot you're new in town and don't know the plot of this episode, so let me fill you and the viewers in real quick about the legend of this asylum." Supposedly the asylum is haunted with the ghosts of the patients, and if you spend the night, they'll drive you insane. That's cool and all, but I'm pretty sure the majority of what's happening in that place (if it's anything like my small Louisiana town) is lots of pot smoking and sex.
Lawrence, Kansas. A young woman (who we last saw reporting on how awesome Jasmine is!) sits in her darkened kitchen, surrounded by moving boxes. She pulls out her wedding photo and tears up. She stops herself when her daughter walks in and says that she can't sleep because there's something in her closet. Upstairs, Widow!Mom checks the closet and declares it free from monsters, though the cameraman lurking in the depths would indicate otherwise. She tucks her daughter, Sari, into bed. Sari says that she doesn't like this house, but Widow!Mom says it's just because she's not used to it, and that they'll be very happy there. She turns the light out and goes to leave, but Sari demands that she first barricade the closet shut with a chair.
Construction Zone. Some construction guys are building new, ritzy houses in a classy subdivision. Beardy Construction Guy complains about mosquitoes right as another guy falls through a weird hole and breaks his ankle. As Beardy Construction Guy runs to get a rope to pull him out, the guy in the hole gets COVERED in bugs, and this is like the third Supernatural recap I've gotten that involves something that legitimately terrifies me. UGH. By the time Beardy Construction Guy gets back, the guy in the hole is laying at the bottom (with no bugs on him) and bleeding from the eyes, nose, and ears.
Kirsti: Hello, nightmare.
Kirsti: Hello, nightmare.
A sorority house at Eastern Iowa University. A mousy looking girl dresses for a date in a denim skirt and long sleeved button up blouse. She asks her roommate what she thinks, and said roommate "Oh, honey, no"s her. (S: True friend material.) She crosses to her dresser and grabs a midriff baring lacy red halter top and insists that Mousy Girl wear that instead. After a little reluctance, Mousy Girl puts it on. Ho Suspension Roommate approves and tells her not to do anything she wouldn't. Mousy Girl says that there's nothing she wouldn't do as she heads out. "That's true," Ho Suspension Roommate grins as she flips through her magazine.
Cut to an SUV pulling up under a wooden bridge in the dark. From the shadows, we see a silver hook glint. Mousy Girl says that she thought they were going to a party, and her date says they can't possibly arrive on time. She eyerolls a little at his obviousness, then leans over and kisses him.
Cut to an SUV pulling up under a wooden bridge in the dark. From the shadows, we see a silver hook glint. Mousy Girl says that she thought they were going to a party, and her date says they can't possibly arrive on time. She eyerolls a little at his obviousness, then leans over and kisses him.
St. Louis, MO. We open this episode with a girl tied to a chair and covered in blood. A man is in the room with her, holding a knife. Cops enter the house and follow the blood stains to find the girl still alive. As they untie her, the girl motions to the room behind them and the cops find the guy standing at the door, with the bloody knife still in his hand. They instruct him to turn around, and when he does, it's Dean.
Kirsti: The entire thing is done to the strains of Iron Butterfly's In-a-Gadda-da-Vida, which would probably be a lot spookier if it didn't immediately conjure up memories of Bart Simpson selling his soul to Milhouse for $5...
Kirsti: The entire thing is done to the strains of Iron Butterfly's In-a-Gadda-da-Vida, which would probably be a lot spookier if it didn't immediately conjure up memories of Bart Simpson selling his soul to Milhouse for $5...
I have no qualms about saying that this episode freaks me the fuck out, and I didn't even grow up in a country where trying to summon a ghost in the bathroom mirror at a sleepover is even a thing. (S: Lucky.) We open in Toledo, Ohio where a trio of 12 year old girls are playing Truth or Dare by candlelight. One of the girls, Lily asks for a dare and is told by her friend to say Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror. Here, random friend, have a gold star!
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
We open at an airport where some guy is looking super anxious. He heads to the bathroom and is splashing water on his face, and a random other guy says not to worry because your odds of dying in a plane crash are 20,000 to 1. YEAH, NOT WHAT I WANNA HEAR, MAN. Let me just go ahead and tell you that flying is my absolute biggest fear and the majority of my nightmares center around plane crashes, so I'm pretty sure this episode is going to ruin me.
Kirsti: I'm not afraid of flying on account of I've been doing it on the regular since I was like nine months old (also because I live in Australia and it's really fucking time consuming to get ANYWHERE if you don't fly), but bathroom guy is a total asshat for listing that hugely unhelpful statistic.
Kirsti: I'm not afraid of flying on account of I've been doing it on the regular since I was like nine months old (also because I live in Australia and it's really fucking time consuming to get ANYWHERE if you don't fly), but bathroom guy is a total asshat for listing that hugely unhelpful statistic.