It's been a long time coming, friends, but we FINALLY finished season 4!! Admittedly, this probably would have rolled around a lot sooner if 31 Days of Twilight hadn't stolen all our time, but WHATEVER. Totally worth it.
Oh, and before I forget, let's have our obligatory end-of-season dance party:
LOOK AT ME! I'm recapping an episode of Supernatural!
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.
We open basically where we left off, with Sam locked in Bobby's panic room. Dean opens the hatch on the door and Sam demands to be let out. But Dean's all "LOL NOPE" because Junkie Sam needs to get clean. Sam insists that it's a bullshit comparison because he's not doing it to get high. He's doing it to get strong enough to defeat Lilith. Dean scoffs and says he's being weak and pathetic.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.
We open with Dean sitting on the end of the world's smallest dock. He's fishing, and he looks peaceful and happy for the first time in EVER.
Castiel appears behind him and says they need to talk. Dean's all "Noooooo, get out of my happy place", and asks if he's dreaming. Cas confirms that he is, and says they need to talk somewhere private. Dean's confused because they're in his head. Cas is all "Yeah, people could be listening". He hands Dean a piece of paper, tells him to meet him there ASAP, and disappears. Dean wakes with a start.
Castiel appears behind him and says they need to talk. Dean's all "Noooooo, get out of my happy place", and asks if he's dreaming. Cas confirms that he is, and says they need to talk somewhere private. Dean's confused because they're in his head. Cas is all "Yeah, people could be listening". He hands Dean a piece of paper, tells him to meet him there ASAP, and disappears. Dean wakes with a start.
Look, let's deal with the elephant in the room: Supernatural is throwing shade on the fact that it's gotten beyond ridiculous, and yet we're only in season 4. We have so many more seasons of shark jumping left, friends.
Marines: I've seen this whole episode and I'm actually surprised that this is the one they chose to name "Jump the Shark."
K: Truth.
We open with a long shot down a hallway. After a bizarrely long period of silence, a woman bursts onto the screen, screaming. She stares back behind her, then sprints down the hall and locks herself in a bedroom.
Marines: I've seen this whole episode and I'm actually surprised that this is the one they chose to name "Jump the Shark."
K: Truth.
We open with a long shot down a hallway. After a bizarrely long period of silence, a woman bursts onto the screen, screaming. She stares back behind her, then sprints down the hall and locks herself in a bedroom.
We open in a messy house, with a scruffy looking guy asleep in his underwear on the sofa. The shot flickers and he twitches in his sleep, then we're thrown into a montage of shots of various things, including Sam and the Bromobile in a weird grey-scale. Then we get a close up of a guy reaching for a comic book and the colour resolves. The boys walk in and introduce themselves as Agents DeYoung and Shaw, both of whom are in Styx. WOO, FAKE NAMES.
We open on an alarm going off at 6am. Well Respected Man by The Kinks starts playing as we watch Dean go about his morning - living in a posh apartment, wearing an expensive suit, making himself a fancy coffee, and driving to work in a Prius. When he starts the car, classic rock starts playing. He looks disgusted and changes the station to NPR.
He gets to work - a fancy high rise downtown - and his office door informs us that his name is Dean Smith and he's head of Sales and Marketing for Sandover Iron.
He gets to work - a fancy high rise downtown - and his office door informs us that his name is Dean Smith and he's head of Sales and Marketing for Sandover Iron.
We open to a bunch of car alarms going off. The cars are all smashed to shit. Castiel walks into the middle of them and raises a hand. The alarms stop, because he's...the car whisperer or some shit? I don't even know any more. (M: A little known and seldom useful angel power.)
Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. "Goodbye, sister," he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring.
Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. "Goodbye, sister," he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring.
A couple of guys leave a bar, discussing fantasy football. As they pass an alley, a twitchy looking guy jumps out and asks if they have any change. Then he pulls a gun on them. A young dude in an apron is dumping rubbish in the dumpster and freaks, dropping the lid with a bang. Twitchy Guy starts, pulling the trigger and shooting the white guy, which makes for a nice change. Twitchy Dude runs. The black guy yells at the Apron Dude to call 911, and starts administering CPR.
We open with a woman beating the shit out of some steaks with a meat tenderiser the size of Mjolnir. Her husband gets home from work and she's all judgey about how late he is. He snaps at her, then apologises. As he gets a beer from the fridge, she tells him that she ran into a friend and they've been invited to a 40th birthday party at the weekend.
We open with a preppy blonde cheerleader uttering the words "She's such a slut," so that we can get our misogyny shots out of the way early. The jock next to her at the lunch table says he's "pro-slut" (SHOTS!) and asks for further details. She provides them, then stops as the girl in question approaches the table and goes to sit in her usual spot. But LOL NOPE, society is the worst and all her friends fake-cough "SLUT!" at her until she storms off to sit at another table.
Marines: She can't see it now, but it's a better table, far from slut-shamers and almost equally as bad, people who would ever fake cough a word.
Marines: She can't see it now, but it's a better table, far from slut-shamers and almost equally as bad, people who would ever fake cough a word.
Sioux City, Iowa. Also known as the place where I first paid for accommodation on my own and freaked out that the Motel 6 was going to be all "Get out, child". But no. Anysegue, it's Iowa Celebrates Magic Week, and there are people on the street doing tricks with cards and doves and whatnot. At a bar, an old guy shows off his card tricks to the bartender AND OH MY GOD I'VE SEEN THIS EPISODE LIKE FIVE TIMES AND I JUST REALISED IT'S THE GUY WHO PLAYED BRAD IN ROCKY HORROR.
The bartender's impressed, but another magician - this one wearing a cape that I'm pretty sure he borrowed from Fake Dracula - pooh poohs his tricks and gives away the secret and is generally a dick.
The bartender's impressed, but another magician - this one wearing a cape that I'm pretty sure he borrowed from Fake Dracula - pooh poohs his tricks and gives away the secret and is generally a dick.
In a creepy old house in the middle of nowhere, an older guy is watching TV when the lights suddenly go out. He eyerolls a little and heads over the door, but it's locked. He's confused, and turns to see a ghostly girl appear out of the closet. "Y-you? It's impossible!" he says before yelling at her to stay away from him. She smiles creepily and we see blood splatter all over the walls as the guy screams.
CREEPY BIRDS!
After the Not Credits, Sam wakes up in the backseat of the Bromobile.
CREEPY BIRDS!
After the Not Credits, Sam wakes up in the backseat of the Bromobile.
We continue on immediately after Cas dropping his "we're gonna kill Anna" bombshell, and the boys demand to know why because she's an innocent girl. Uriel chuckles and says she's far from innocent, and almost as gross as Ruby. He demands that they hand her over. "Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate," Dean sasses. I admit, I did chuckle a bit at that.
Uriel calls Ruby a "demon whore" so that we can get our first round of misogyny shots over nice and early, and a fight breaks out. Uriel pins Ruby against a wall, and Dean rushes over to help. Cas walks slowly towards Sam, who begs him not to do this.
Uriel calls Ruby a "demon whore" so that we can get our first round of misogyny shots over nice and early, and a fight breaks out. Uriel pins Ruby against a wall, and Dean rushes over to help. Cas walks slowly towards Sam, who begs him not to do this.
First things first, friends. I was a teenager in the 90s, so obviously all I can think of when I see this episode title is this:
We should really #snarkathon that, now that I think of it.
Marines: Not a bad idea. I'll remind you of this when it's your turn to wake up stupid early on Sunday to lead one again.
K: Thank you.
We open at a mental hospital. A girl named Anna stares spacily out the window as she's informed that she's in a mental hospital.
We should really #snarkathon that, now that I think of it.
Marines: Not a bad idea. I'll remind you of this when it's your turn to wake up stupid early on Sunday to lead one again.
K: Thank you.
We open at a mental hospital. A girl named Anna stares spacily out the window as she's informed that she's in a mental hospital.