rom the previouslies, I can see that shit is going DOWN here at the O.C. Everyone is varying degrees of upset and angry and there was even a dramatic pool dive. And now it’s finale time.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one.
Hello! Deciding to guest write for Snark Squad was a slightly terrifying choice to make (all that EFFORT!), but it should be fun. My background with the OC only goes back to September of 2012 with SS's first OC post, so this show is all new to me. Onto the craziness!
After the previouslies we fade into nighttime with Seth going into the pool house to wake up/bother Ryan. Or I guess it's more to scare him awake because Ryan shoots up pretty quickly.
After the previouslies we fade into nighttime with Seth going into the pool house to wake up/bother Ryan. Or I guess it's more to scare him awake because Ryan shoots up pretty quickly.
When the OC debuted, I was 13 years old, and I got totally sucked in. I had a crush on Ryan and probably Marissa too. I don’t know why, because my life was about the opposite of these kids--I was living in a studio apartment with my mom, the two of us sleeping on a couch together with the cushions falling in to the springs, one blanket, and loads of cats. Yeah, my childhood was pretty interesting. I wouldn’t trade it for this drama I’m about to cover, though I might have then.
Anyway, a few episodes in, my mom’s boyfriend lost his cable--so bye bye, OC. I forgot about it, until a creepy teacher at my junior high later that year told me I looked like Mischa Barton.
Anyway, a few episodes in, my mom’s boyfriend lost his cable--so bye bye, OC. I forgot about it, until a creepy teacher at my junior high later that year told me I looked like Mischa Barton.
As with many episodes, we start off in the Cohen’s kitchen, because why else would we need to see other parts of their humongous house. Although, it’s a shnazzy looking kitchen.
Marines: If past episodes are to be believed they only have one guest bedroom. I think this house is just a kitchen, a pool house and like 2.5 other rooms. IT'S ALL A RUSE.
Lily: Seth and Ryan discuss potential Spring Break plans.
Marines: If past episodes are to be believed they only have one guest bedroom. I think this house is just a kitchen, a pool house and like 2.5 other rooms. IT'S ALL A RUSE.
Lily: Seth and Ryan discuss potential Spring Break plans.
Cohen Kitchen: Eating cereal before school in ironed shirts and perfectly styled hair. Sure, I'll go with this. Seth and Ryan are discussing the night before when someone almost drowned in a pool. Ryan claims that although Trey confessed, he couldn't possibly be a drug dealer and he understands all about the desire to “save Marissa Cooper”. Seth seems to think it's something in their DNA, much like oddly styled hair. I don't know much about this show, I suspect because I was heavily invested in Desperate Housewives during this time period (a choice I stand behind after watching this episode). But I do know I have always intensely disliked Marissa Cooper. So I have instant dislike for Ryan and his Marissa-saving brother.
Sandy’s having his morning coffee, thinking about what kind of bagel he feels like this morning. Ryan’s brother, Trey, also recognized as “NOT Gavin DeGraw” walks into the kitchen. Today’s the day! Today’s the day Trey moves out of the Cohen commune and into his own place. Sandy’s all like “PRAISE! I have enough troubled youth on my hands, but call me if you need anything.” Trey’s like, “Nah, I’m ok. You guys have done too much for me already. Not many people would take in an ex-con; Ryan’s lucky to have you.”
BROTHER BURN.
BROTHER BURN.
Trey apparently learned how to make breakfast in jail, so he's doing that now. He may be new to the Cohen household, but he must already know that every episode starts with breakfast. (S: Key part of his rehabilitation. Delicious breakfast foods are the best way to start a crime-free day.) Ryan comes into the kitchen, quickly followed by Seth and then Sandy. Kirsten shows up long enough to pick up a phone call from Julie and leaves again. Seth helpfully explains to Trey that Julie is Marissa's mom. "So, Ryan's mother-in-law?" Trey quips. Sandy is surprised that they are back on again and that he's the last to know. Ryan insists that nothing is going on for about one second, but then crumbles under the power of Sandy's eyebrows (I guess).
Mallory: We start off with what is basically my dream come true: Sandy Cohen offering up chicken parm for dinner. Kirsten is too preoccupied talking to Carter about Newport Living magazine to appreciate Sandy’s chivalry. Seth and Ryan swoop in to grab their chicken parm and get back to a “very crucial Playstation game,” but Sandy traps them into a family dinner. He puts his foot down hard about the family dinner - I’ve never seen anyone seem quite so intimidating while wearing a lavender cashmere v-neck.
Marines: I almost hate to say it but not really: it's the eyebrows.
Sweeney: The eyebrows explain it all.
Marines: I almost hate to say it but not really: it's the eyebrows.
Sweeney: The eyebrows explain it all.
My history with the OC is that I watched obsessively in high school, but I can’t remember how many seasons I got through. All I really remember is rooting for Anna, and I’m pretty sure her time here has come and gone. (M: SADLY.) I do know the basics of the main drama-makers here.
We open at what I assume is their high school, though everyone is a good seven years older than I was in high school. They must be a bunch of idiots.
Seth is reminiscing about how last year was so much better, even though his list of last year includes “possible illegitimate daughter”, but I get too distracted by Seth’s sweater vest and the fact that I think Ryan is wearing bell-bottom jeans to really pay close attention.
We open at what I assume is their high school, though everyone is a good seven years older than I was in high school. They must be a bunch of idiots.
Seth is reminiscing about how last year was so much better, even though his list of last year includes “possible illegitimate daughter”, but I get too distracted by Seth’s sweater vest and the fact that I think Ryan is wearing bell-bottom jeans to really pay close attention.
We open with someone knocking on the window of Ryan’s bedroom; it’s Seth, pulling the awful “wakey wakey” routine that is just giving me flashbacks to my mum on school mornings, or the cleaning lady at uni bursting in at ungodly hours. Seth reminds him that when Summer left to go to Italy he refused to let him fester away in his room, and that he’s only returning the favour. Ryan reminds him that no, he didn’t, but Seth is having none of it. He’s helping anyway.
Mari: There are very, very few instances in which someone waking you up is helping, but okay Seth. Continue.
Sweeney: Unless the building is on fire, you're not helping.
Mari: There are very, very few instances in which someone waking you up is helping, but okay Seth. Continue.
Sweeney: Unless the building is on fire, you're not helping.
So, before we begin I feel obligated to inform you all that I have never ever seen a single episode of The O.C. before this episode. My only defense is that IMDb tells me that this episode aired in good ol' 2005 and I was pretty heavily into my emo phase at that point. I think I considered this show to be 'preppy' which is a thing that I would've shunned. (M: Fair.) (S: But it had so much music you would have loved! Except you wouldn't have been able to admit to hearing it via an OC Mix. The struggle.)
This episode starts with lots of previouslies. A lot of stuff has happened to these rich blonde people, you guys. A lot. Of stuff. Namely, something about a DNA test and this 30 year old woman is gonna get adopted? What? She's clearly 30.
This episode starts with lots of previouslies. A lot of stuff has happened to these rich blonde people, you guys. A lot. Of stuff. Namely, something about a DNA test and this 30 year old woman is gonna get adopted? What? She's clearly 30.
Hello fellow Traumateers! It gives me the absolute wiggins to get to do an OC post for Snark Squad because I love both so much. And someday, at a Snark Squad convention with plenty of wine, I will share my embarrassing 13 year old fangirl stories with you all. (M: Um, I cannot wait.) (S: Cosign. You're off to a great start.) But for now, lets start the episode!
We open with some previouslies, that are mostly a lot of uncomfortable conversations and moments (Seth, no! Sandy, no!). This drops us off at the best part of any episode, the morning breakfast scene! Ryan walks into the house to find Seth on the couch in a Robe Cocoon of Sadness. Seth admits that he has been up all night watching movies. "What's the plural of Matrix?" he asks.
We open with some previouslies, that are mostly a lot of uncomfortable conversations and moments (Seth, no! Sandy, no!). This drops us off at the best part of any episode, the morning breakfast scene! Ryan walks into the house to find Seth on the couch in a Robe Cocoon of Sadness. Seth admits that he has been up all night watching movies. "What's the plural of Matrix?" he asks.
OK so disclaimer, the previouslies showed me some things that haven’t been snarked yet at the time of writing (apparently Sandy lied to Kirsten about someone being dead!) so I’m not 100% up to speed here, plotwise. But I think that’s part of the beauty of these recaps, so I’m just going to take this episode in stride and try not to be too confused by all the dramz. No promises, though.
Marines: I can assure you that by knowing who Sandy and Kirsten are, you've overcome most of the battle. You got this.
Marines: I can assure you that by knowing who Sandy and Kirsten are, you've overcome most of the battle. You got this.
After some scandalous “Previously Ons,” we open on Sandy driving up to the Cohen supermansion. Chirping birds quietly assure us it is, indeed, morning, despite the fact that it could also be, you know, noon. In the magical kitchen, where Ryan is fully dressed and studying for a test, Seth wanders in in a bathrobe and wants to discuss his love life. Ryan displays more of the surliness I would expect from a teenager in the morning, but this seems to be more due to him WANTING to study versus the horrific reality of it being morning and ANOTHER GODDAMN DAY.
For those following along at home, I was the kid who liked to remind everyone that morning and mourning were homonyms FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
For those following along at home, I was the kid who liked to remind everyone that morning and mourning were homonyms FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
Hi, hi, hello! I'm Anna, also known as KlutzyBallerina around some parts of the interwebz.
We start with a casual walk down the pier where our three bros are discussing their “manning up” moments that resulted in their relationships (Ryan and Zach) or lack thereof (poor Seth). Seth is equally excited and scared of the possibility of a relationship and/or a threesome with Alex and her “lesbian ex”. Summer joins them and reminds them how her usual breakfast of Zone bars is being replaced by diner food. I'm not sure if this is meant to reinforce how bad her stepmother is or how much of a rebel she is for skipping her diet breakfast. Either way, dinner wins. Lindsay shows up late, of course, and awkwardly forces Seth out of the table meant for four.
We start with a casual walk down the pier where our three bros are discussing their “manning up” moments that resulted in their relationships (Ryan and Zach) or lack thereof (poor Seth). Seth is equally excited and scared of the possibility of a relationship and/or a threesome with Alex and her “lesbian ex”. Summer joins them and reminds them how her usual breakfast of Zone bars is being replaced by diner food. I'm not sure if this is meant to reinforce how bad her stepmother is or how much of a rebel she is for skipping her diet breakfast. Either way, dinner wins. Lindsay shows up late, of course, and awkwardly forces Seth out of the table meant for four.