Last time I watched The OC, the gang was celebrating Chrismukkah and I revealed my snow elitism roots. (M: Good times.) I haven’t seen any of season three, so this should be interesting…
The episode begins with the foursome eating at a diner. The boys decide that the girls should pick the movie (could I love these boys anymore??), which leads to Summer and Marissa riffing “Bring It On.”
Hoooboy it's great to be back in this joint! More sentimentalisms at the end, onto the episode. Though, raise your hand if you're as excited about this as I am. *raises her own hand hand*
Marines: I don't know that I can match your excitement about the episode but it's lovely to have you here so: *raises hand*
Karina: After the previouslies are over, Marissa is sitting on one of those beach guard houses in the night. (Is that what you call them? Never mind, I'm sure you get what I'm saying.) She is having flashbacks of fooling around with Ryan and almost getting raped by his brother so her night is going anything but swell.
Marines: I don't know that I can match your excitement about the episode but it's lovely to have you here so: *raises hand*
Karina: After the previouslies are over, Marissa is sitting on one of those beach guard houses in the night. (Is that what you call them? Never mind, I'm sure you get what I'm saying.) She is having flashbacks of fooling around with Ryan and almost getting raped by his brother so her night is going anything but swell.
I really wanted to pretend that I have totally been keeping up with the show since recapping The Telanovela, but there is literally nothing happening before my mind is already blown. It wasn't THAT long ago that Kirsten was bragging about her specialty of taking food out of take out containers and now she's apparently cooked a full gourmet breakfast!? Was the drinking really that bad?
Wait, Seth and Ryan are looking very confused by this exuberant breakfast before school (they're all still so awake in the morning, it's weird) so it must not be a regular thing. In typical teenage-boy fashion, they just want their cereal and bagels.
Wait, Seth and Ryan are looking very confused by this exuberant breakfast before school (they're all still so awake in the morning, it's weird) so it must not be a regular thing. In typical teenage-boy fashion, they just want their cereal and bagels.
I wanted to start off this recap by reminding readers, or telling those new to The O.C., that you have to look at Season 3 as the darkness before the dawn. Hang in there, because Season 4 is going to be SO much better. Too bad Season 3 scared away all the viewers and the show got canceled after the fourth season.
The core four drive up to Newport Union High School. Seth exposits that this is Newport’s answer to public education. Marissa, you see, having been kicked out of Harbor and left penniless by Caleb’s death, is now forced to endure the indignity of PUBLIC school.
The core four drive up to Newport Union High School. Seth exposits that this is Newport’s answer to public education. Marissa, you see, having been kicked out of Harbor and left penniless by Caleb’s death, is now forced to endure the indignity of PUBLIC school.
The Core Four are sitting in the diner, with Summer lamenting Ryan and Marissa’s expulsions from Harbor. Ryan and Marissa try to tell her it won’t be that bad, but Summer says it will be for Seth, seeing how before Ryan, he was bullied by people who called him “Death Breath Seth,” and Marissa’s like, uh, YOU called him that. Summer ignores that and says this was supposed to be the best year ever. All Ryan and Marissa want is to go back to school, but Summer tells them it’ll be okay as long as they stick together.
We start in the Cohen kitchen, where it looks like rabid raccoons have just finished having a banquet. Haha, nope. The kitchen is filthy because the lady of the house has been away, and we all know only women know how to keep a kitchen clean. (M: It's coded in that extra X chromosome. #science)
Sandy Eyebrows Cohen is expressing how important it is for them all to still eat together as a family because it’s a special day for Seth and Ryan; the first day of their senior year.
Sandy Eyebrows Cohen is expressing how important it is for them all to still eat together as a family because it’s a special day for Seth and Ryan; the first day of their senior year.
Jorge: Have you ever watched Spike Jonze's Adaptation?
Marines: ...what? No. Where is this going?
Jorge: Oh man. You totally should. It's the sorta-real-but-not-exactly-real story of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, played with aplomb by Nicholas Cage, as he takes on the challenge of adapting Susan Orleans' book The Orchid Thief for the big screen. Orleans' book is a rumination on passions and disappointments, framed by a story about orchid poaching in Florida.
Marines: ...what? No. Where is this going?
Jorge: Oh man. You totally should. It's the sorta-real-but-not-exactly-real story of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, played with aplomb by Nicholas Cage, as he takes on the challenge of adapting Susan Orleans' book The Orchid Thief for the big screen. Orleans' book is a rumination on passions and disappointments, framed by a story about orchid poaching in Florida.
rom the previouslies, I can see that shit is going DOWN here at the O.C. Everyone is varying degrees of upset and angry and there was even a dramatic pool dive. And now it’s finale time.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one.
Hello! Deciding to guest write for Snark Squad was a slightly terrifying choice to make (all that EFFORT!), but it should be fun. My background with the OC only goes back to September of 2012 with SS's first OC post, so this show is all new to me. Onto the craziness!
After the previouslies we fade into nighttime with Seth going into the pool house to wake up/bother Ryan. Or I guess it's more to scare him awake because Ryan shoots up pretty quickly.
After the previouslies we fade into nighttime with Seth going into the pool house to wake up/bother Ryan. Or I guess it's more to scare him awake because Ryan shoots up pretty quickly.
When the OC debuted, I was 13 years old, and I got totally sucked in. I had a crush on Ryan and probably Marissa too. I don’t know why, because my life was about the opposite of these kids--I was living in a studio apartment with my mom, the two of us sleeping on a couch together with the cushions falling in to the springs, one blanket, and loads of cats. Yeah, my childhood was pretty interesting. I wouldn’t trade it for this drama I’m about to cover, though I might have then.
Anyway, a few episodes in, my mom’s boyfriend lost his cable--so bye bye, OC. I forgot about it, until a creepy teacher at my junior high later that year told me I looked like Mischa Barton.
Anyway, a few episodes in, my mom’s boyfriend lost his cable--so bye bye, OC. I forgot about it, until a creepy teacher at my junior high later that year told me I looked like Mischa Barton.
As with many episodes, we start off in the Cohen’s kitchen, because why else would we need to see other parts of their humongous house. Although, it’s a shnazzy looking kitchen.
Marines: If past episodes are to be believed they only have one guest bedroom. I think this house is just a kitchen, a pool house and like 2.5 other rooms. IT'S ALL A RUSE.
Lily: Seth and Ryan discuss potential Spring Break plans.
Marines: If past episodes are to be believed they only have one guest bedroom. I think this house is just a kitchen, a pool house and like 2.5 other rooms. IT'S ALL A RUSE.
Lily: Seth and Ryan discuss potential Spring Break plans.
Cohen Kitchen: Eating cereal before school in ironed shirts and perfectly styled hair. Sure, I'll go with this. Seth and Ryan are discussing the night before when someone almost drowned in a pool. Ryan claims that although Trey confessed, he couldn't possibly be a drug dealer and he understands all about the desire to “save Marissa Cooper”. Seth seems to think it's something in their DNA, much like oddly styled hair. I don't know much about this show, I suspect because I was heavily invested in Desperate Housewives during this time period (a choice I stand behind after watching this episode). But I do know I have always intensely disliked Marissa Cooper. So I have instant dislike for Ryan and his Marissa-saving brother.
Sandy’s having his morning coffee, thinking about what kind of bagel he feels like this morning. Ryan’s brother, Trey, also recognized as “NOT Gavin DeGraw” walks into the kitchen. Today’s the day! Today’s the day Trey moves out of the Cohen commune and into his own place. Sandy’s all like “PRAISE! I have enough troubled youth on my hands, but call me if you need anything.” Trey’s like, “Nah, I’m ok. You guys have done too much for me already. Not many people would take in an ex-con; Ryan’s lucky to have you.”
BROTHER BURN.
BROTHER BURN.
Trey apparently learned how to make breakfast in jail, so he's doing that now. He may be new to the Cohen household, but he must already know that every episode starts with breakfast. (S: Key part of his rehabilitation. Delicious breakfast foods are the best way to start a crime-free day.) Ryan comes into the kitchen, quickly followed by Seth and then Sandy. Kirsten shows up long enough to pick up a phone call from Julie and leaves again. Seth helpfully explains to Trey that Julie is Marissa's mom. "So, Ryan's mother-in-law?" Trey quips. Sandy is surprised that they are back on again and that he's the last to know. Ryan insists that nothing is going on for about one second, but then crumbles under the power of Sandy's eyebrows (I guess).
Mallory: We start off with what is basically my dream come true: Sandy Cohen offering up chicken parm for dinner. Kirsten is too preoccupied talking to Carter about Newport Living magazine to appreciate Sandy’s chivalry. Seth and Ryan swoop in to grab their chicken parm and get back to a “very crucial Playstation game,” but Sandy traps them into a family dinner. He puts his foot down hard about the family dinner - I’ve never seen anyone seem quite so intimidating while wearing a lavender cashmere v-neck.
Marines: I almost hate to say it but not really: it's the eyebrows.
Sweeney: The eyebrows explain it all.
Marines: I almost hate to say it but not really: it's the eyebrows.
Sweeney: The eyebrows explain it all.