We open on…lots of shirtless construction workers. Unfortunately, the camera’s not on them nearly long enough. The only two people with shirts are Sandy and I guess the head construction dude, and it’s not until they start talking that I realize the construction is in the Cohen home. Their house is torn apart, literally and figuratively, which Sandy actually says out loud. As always, very subtle with the symbolism, writers. They talk about the endless construction and we learn that it’s now September. Just before the construction workers knock down a wall that almost hits them, Sandy complains about all the shirtless guys (killjoy!) saying that the neighbors have started to call their house The Manhole. Hee. Kirsten comes downstairs wearing this adorable little black dress and greets “Archie,” the head construction dude.
FINALE TIME! I have no idea why this show has a ridiculous 27 episode order, but unlike some other teen soap operas, the previouslies inform us that shit has been happening on this show. Speaking of, this episode begins with Seth and Ryan discussing potential baby names. Ryan, suddenly with more to brood about than ever before is uncommonly lighthearted. (For Ryan, anyway. This would still qualify as a broody day for most other fictional characters.) Bro chat comes to an end when Theresa emerges from the family planning clinic.
Casa Cohen. Kirsten gets off a phone call, still distressed about the impending nuptials of The Gruesome Twosome.
Casa Cohen. Kirsten gets off a phone call, still distressed about the impending nuptials of The Gruesome Twosome.
One of the few (conscious) memories I have of ever watching a complete episode of the OC is from when I was horribly hungover at university, feeling very sorry for myself, and being unable to muster up enough energy to change the damn channel. Even with half my braincells devoted to feeling utterly wretched, my main- and recurring- thought about this show is best summed up as 'what the fuck is this?'.
Caveat: while I have some vague awareness of the characters and their backstories, I have no idea what the plot line is or what the last twenty five episodes have been banging on about and the 'previously on.. ' doesn't really help me at all.
Caveat: while I have some vague awareness of the characters and their backstories, I have no idea what the plot line is or what the last twenty five episodes have been banging on about and the 'previously on.. ' doesn't really help me at all.
I’m starting off my recap with a Grand Proclamation of Love. Don't worry, Ladies of Snark - you can keep your Seth Cohen, because I am all Ryan all the time. He can grab my face and movie star kiss me any day.
Like most episodes, we start off in the Cohen kitchen. While I love the Cohen house, this kitchen is far too small and ordinary for the setting. This always distracts me from what’s happening in the show. Where is the chandelier? Why is the room so small?
Like most episodes, we start off in the Cohen kitchen. While I love the Cohen house, this kitchen is far too small and ordinary for the setting. This always distracts me from what’s happening in the show. Where is the chandelier? Why is the room so small?
I’m going to have to start this thing out by admitting that I have never seen a single episode of The OC. I have no idea what it’s about. I know that there was a particularly large-eyed, sad looking girl on the show, and she later did makeup commercials, but beyond that, I’m not sure what the hell it’s about. Orange county, I assume. But I didn’t bother watching other episodes or catching up in any way.
Sweeney: While we're at it, I should inform the readers that having all of the "never seen another episode" recappers at the end of the season like this was PURE ACCIDENT. Also a lot of fun. A very fun accident.
Lorraine: We did have one or two "never seen another episode" folk specifically request a later episode though. Like they were thinking, "what is the most confused I can be? Sign me up for that." All of the fun.
Sweeney: While we're at it, I should inform the readers that having all of the "never seen another episode" recappers at the end of the season like this was PURE ACCIDENT. Also a lot of fun. A very fun accident.
Lorraine: We did have one or two "never seen another episode" folk specifically request a later episode though. Like they were thinking, "what is the most confused I can be? Sign me up for that." All of the fun.
Forewarning: I've never seen a single episode of The OC until right now. And I'm starting with Episode 23 so I'm sure it's going to make total sense. From what I understand, it's about a bunch of rich white dudes, maybe in a blended family, set in California (arguably one of my least favorite states) (S: REALLY? SADZ.), and deals with rich people problems like sex, drugs, and alcohol.
Totally like my life.
Let's do this.
Totally like my life.
Let's do this.
Ryan and Seth are walking back to the hotel-apartment where Theresa was staying. Ryan left his watch. Seth asks him all kinds of awkward questions about when exactly he took the watch off. During the deed? During foreplay? Before foreplay, which he fears would be presumptuous? The fact that he picks on that one and not, say, taking off your watch mid-sex worries me. This one-sided bro-chat ends with Seth saying he likes to leave the watch on to try and beat his previous times.
Inside the office, the hotel-apartment worker makes things even more awkward when he asks if Theresa is Ryan's girlfriend. Ryan blinks rapidly at him and looks like he might have to sneeze but it won't come out. In Ben McKenzie, this might be interpreted as "uncomfortable."
Inside the office, the hotel-apartment worker makes things even more awkward when he asks if Theresa is Ryan's girlfriend. Ryan blinks rapidly at him and looks like he might have to sneeze but it won't come out. In Ben McKenzie, this might be interpreted as "uncomfortable."
Hello! I’m Tom, your resident Canadian (one of anyway) and I will be recapping the OC for you! I was so honoured to be asked, and so excited to be a part of this. I started watching the OC in university, with my roommates. We all kind of laughed at it, thinking it was a silly show, and slowly it ended up being a nice bonding moment and appointment viewing for a couple years. That and reruns of Sex and the City. I MEAN MONSTER TRUCK RALLIES AND SPORTS NOT SEX AND THE CITY. Whatevs, men can watch Sex and the City. Deal with it, Society.
After lots of previously ons, we open on the Cohen kitchen, when it’s breakfast. I’ve never understood these people that seem to get all this done in the morning.
After lots of previously ons, we open on the Cohen kitchen, when it’s breakfast. I’ve never understood these people that seem to get all this done in the morning.
Who wants to feel old and realize that if you only watched The OC when it aired, it's been more than 10 years since you've seen this episode? No one, ok, then let's ignore that I mentioned that at all. It helps that Adam Brody looks pretty much exactly the same as he did as Seth Cohen. If time stopped for him, it must've for all of us, right? Totally.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what's happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what's happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
It’s morning at the Cohen house. Sandy is fetching himself some juice when he gets shot in the face with a foam dart. The shooter is Kirsten, and shooting him in the face was her way of wishing him a happy Valentine’s Day. Sandy is unimpressed, not only because he just took a dart to the face before he’d even got his breakfast, but also because Valentine’s day isn’t actually until tomorrow.
Sweeney: That before breakfast is serious. Don't fucking talk to me, let alone SHOOT DARTS AT MY FACE before I've had breakfast.
Lorraine: I've never seen Kirsten this excited. Maybe about wine that one time she was drunk, but that was less excited and more, well, drunk.
Sweeney: That before breakfast is serious. Don't fucking talk to me, let alone SHOOT DARTS AT MY FACE before I've had breakfast.
Lorraine: I've never seen Kirsten this excited. Maybe about wine that one time she was drunk, but that was less excited and more, well, drunk.
I just want to start this with their “Previously on The OC” intro simply for… FANTASTIC curtain hair, oh god early 2000’s everywhere. You’d have thought they would have gotten over this by now but NOPE, not in the OC. Also I have come into this having not seen a single episode since the first run just so I can be vague about everything I see in the next 40 minutes... and now on to the show!
Ryan is sitting in his super large pool house, you know the one that is roughly the size of my whole house, reading a book. It could be manga, it could be some sort of school book, I’m not sure; let's just assume it's not important to the plot of this episode and move on.
Ryan is sitting in his super large pool house, you know the one that is roughly the size of my whole house, reading a book. It could be manga, it could be some sort of school book, I’m not sure; let's just assume it's not important to the plot of this episode and move on.
Open to Seth and Ryan walking across campus. Ryan is going on about his mistrust of Oliver. This is totally valid because with my limited knowledge it seems to me that Oliver is bat-shit crazy. (I should probably mention that I missed this show entirely so I'm almost completely a Snow). Seth is trying to be comforting but is also being Seth, whose fall back position is sarcastic and nerdy. I have to say so far my favorite thing about this show is the relationship between Ryan and Seth. They offset each other well and it does my heart good to see them fall into this friendship.
So Ryan is still going on about Oliver and says he and Marissa are fighting a lot about him. Seth states Ryan is jealous because Oliver is a rich kid with many exotic locations to whisk women off to. He also uses the phrase "Dapper Don" (really, Seth?) and all I can think of is this even though I have never watched Mad Men:
I'm going to try to prevent myself from flailing all over this post. Let me just get this out of my system. THE O.C!! I'M SNARKING AN EPISODE OF THE O.C.!! SETH COHEN!! Ahem.
Lorraine: I like your method of getting it all out on the front end. Already off to a good start.
Ashlea: The episode opens at the I'm-Not-Really-A-Bachelor-Yet Pad of Jimmy Cooper, with Marissa skipping down the stairs to open the door for the smarmy douchebag, Oliver. He pulls the pity-me card and asks to come in. Of course Marissa lets him, because she's SO troubled and tortured and her soul resonates with his or some such crap. Really it's because she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp. Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the I-Hate-Marissa-Cooper Club. (L: Not there yet? Keep watching this episode.)
Lorraine: I like your method of getting it all out on the front end. Already off to a good start.
Ashlea: The episode opens at the I'm-Not-Really-A-Bachelor-Yet Pad of Jimmy Cooper, with Marissa skipping down the stairs to open the door for the smarmy douchebag, Oliver. He pulls the pity-me card and asks to come in. Of course Marissa lets him, because she's SO troubled and tortured and her soul resonates with his or some such crap. Really it's because she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp. Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the I-Hate-Marissa-Cooper Club. (L: Not there yet? Keep watching this episode.)
Friends, Snark Ladies, Traumateers, lend me your ears. Or failing that, a one-off spot on your blog. Hello, or something. (L: HI.)
We start episode fifteen with some slightly obnoxious-sounding early-noughties jingly rock-pop, in the kitchen of what is rapidly becoming the Cohen Family Rehabilitation Centre for Strays and Fuck-Ups (seriously, does this family have to fix everyone?) (L: Yes, because Plot. I'm waiting for an adorable dog to show up.) (S: THAT WOULD BE THE BEST.) Hailey is sitting at the table with her earbuds in, trying as hard as she can to look like a moody teenager, and Sandy walks in only to look like someone kicked his puppy when he sees she’s nicked his bagels.
We start episode fifteen with some slightly obnoxious-sounding early-noughties jingly rock-pop, in the kitchen of what is rapidly becoming the Cohen Family Rehabilitation Centre for Strays and Fuck-Ups (seriously, does this family have to fix everyone?) (L: Yes, because Plot. I'm waiting for an adorable dog to show up.) (S: THAT WOULD BE THE BEST.) Hailey is sitting at the table with her earbuds in, trying as hard as she can to look like a moody teenager, and Sandy walks in only to look like someone kicked his puppy when he sees she’s nicked his bagels.
Previously: Seth introduced us to Christmakuh and them chose himself in the Summer vs. Anna showdown. — The Countdown Coyote Rose: So I vaguely remember watching the first three episodes...