A hazy spirit!Meg asks, "do you love me? Did you ever love me?" Spirit!Meg says that before the crash, her life didn't flash before her eyes. She thought back to her last perfect moment with (presumably) Duncan. We hear Veronica say, "please." Veronica says Duncan can save her if he wants to. Veronica walks up behind Meg's chair wearing some Bad Girl Styling that includes leather pants and fishnet, for real.
Bad!Veronica says she's heard enough. Spirit!Meg asks what Veronica has that she doesn't. Bad!Veronica ties a sleeping mask around her mouth and says that for starters, she's conscious. Bad!V walks toward the camera and asks Duncan if that's really what he wants. "Teddy bears and MASH notes? Grow up. Grow up and get over it." Bad!Veronica slaps Duncan in the dream and this startles him awake.
Billionaire Bros Bungalow. Duncan's trying to have sexytimes with Veronica, but he's so incredibly boring that she'd much rather entertain herself with her adorable impression of The Dude. (L: Friend, even your KISSES are boring. Find help.) Duncan turns off The Big Lebowski and finally gets her attention, only to be cockblocked by the return of his new roommate. Things are awkward and Logan is generally as rude as possible. Veronica's attempt at playing nice is interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Kendall and she recognizes Veronica as "iPod girl with the waxy eared boyfriend." Logan squeezes in a few more asshole comments and away they go.
Veronica Voice-Over starts things off, explaining how a week ago, Veronica thought things would turn out differently. She imagined Keith winning the sheriff election in a landslide, and she and Wallace would sneak champagne and prank-call Deputy Lamb. Instead, the election is unbelievably close, and Wallace is off with his dad somewhere. Meanwhile, Veronica is tense at Mars for Sheriff Election Results Party Extravaganza, while Cliff the lawyer gets drunk.
Sweeney: I usually adore Cliff's sass, but his, "GIMME A DRINK, GIRL," sass wasn't some of his finer work. Fortunately this is just his teaser material and he has the rest of the episode to redeem himself.
Sweeney: I usually adore Cliff's sass, but his, "GIMME A DRINK, GIRL," sass wasn't some of his finer work. Fortunately this is just his teaser material and he has the rest of the episode to redeem himself.
Wallace heads inside, not too long after Stalker Cop approached him with the whole, "I am your father," deal. Wallace is clearly distraught. Alicia is happily serving dinner and her first clue that something is wrong is that Wallace says he isn't hungry. He just met a man in the driveway. A man from Chicago. He angrily asks who they buried in Cleveland and who he cried over for so many days. Alicia says that was his father but Wallace doesn't get how having two fathers works out. Wallace storms away but Alicia follows.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
Veronica, looking a lot more shaken than normal, is at Mars Investigations (doubling as Mars for Sheriff HQ!) calling the hospital to find out Meg's visiting hours. As she hangs up, an Elle Woods wannabe (D: It's funny because it's literally Laura Bell Bundy from the Legally Blonde musical) (S: AMAZING.) struts into the office in desperate need of a detective to investigate her boyfriend and possible fiance because she found a ring while doing her own snooping. Keith isn't there, but Veronica goes ahead and sells her on hardcore investigative packages. (L: Future Business Leader of America shots!) Keith arrives as she's leaving and is pleasant, but reminds Veronica that she's no longer his employee.
We begin with a Veronica Voice-Over about the magic of senior year. Tis the season of college applications, so Veronica needs to pad her resume with a non-crime-solving-related activity. I'm not sure why - the crime-solving thing would probably look way more attractive to an admissions officer than the stupid FBLA. But that doesn't get us anywhere, plot-wise, so welcome to the Future Business Leaders of America, Veronica Mars!
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Lorraine: Veronica is looking very intensely at a display of dessert. Veronica Voice Over asks us, "if a school bus traveling 40 miles per hour drives off a cliff and plunges 90 feet into the jagged coastline, how many seconds do the six high-school students, their teacher and bus driver have to contemplate the fact that they're about to die?" No wonder V's serving some pie and she can't even look happy about pie. Those are some morbid thoughts.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
We start at that restaurant where Carrie Bishop worked. Veronica is now the hostess, and she opens her monologue just shy of a title star: "Normal - that's the watchword." I'm feeling the generous glow of a new season and am willing to go ahead and give her that gold star anyway:
Lorraine: Does this extend into real life? Should people start asking favors of you while you bask in the new season glow? I'm asking for a friend.
Democracy Diva: Unrelated, but I am wary of a season that begins with our badass blonde heroine working in the food service industry. It did not go well for Buffy.
Lorraine: Does this extend into real life? Should people start asking favors of you while you bask in the new season glow? I'm asking for a friend.
Democracy Diva: Unrelated, but I am wary of a season that begins with our badass blonde heroine working in the food service industry. It did not go well for Buffy.
WE DID IT! We're here! Dance party time!
OK, so, we often begin rankings with a discussion of how bad we are at ranking things, but seriously, seriously, this is the hardest ranking I've ever had to do. I love all 22 of these episodes. I'd watch any of them in a heartbeat and they are all near and dear to my heart. Both of the non-Snows began this project by discussing how we count this as one of the best seasons of TV ever (it's part of our description for the show!) and that opinion holds. Whatever new flaws I may have picked up on this rewatch, I will forever love this show and Veronica and, especially, this season.
OK, so, we often begin rankings with a discussion of how bad we are at ranking things, but seriously, seriously, this is the hardest ranking I've ever had to do. I love all 22 of these episodes. I'd watch any of them in a heartbeat and they are all near and dear to my heart. Both of the non-Snows began this project by discussing how we count this as one of the best seasons of TV ever (it's part of our description for the show!) and that opinion holds. Whatever new flaws I may have picked up on this rewatch, I will forever love this show and Veronica and, especially, this season.
FINALE TIME, FRIENDS. It's been a long haul to the finale, what with posting being only weekly and less, still, when you account for all the lateness, but HERE WE ARE. The big finish. We'll talk a lot next time about how incredible this season of television is, when I attempt to rank a season in which I LOVE ALL 22 EPISODES. ALL OF THEM. For now, there's still a mystery to wrap up, so let's get to it.
We start with a reporter, sitting in his cubicle, incredulously listening to Keith's theory that Abel Koontz couldn't have killed Lilly because he was with Cheyenne, a call girl. The reporter says flat out (in front of this call girl) that this whole thing sounds far too tabloidy and would basically jeopardize his entire career. Cheyenne's pretty happy to say, "Great! We tried! We're done now!" but Keith's adamant and hands over a file with a whole hell of a lot more proof.
We start with a reporter, sitting in his cubicle, incredulously listening to Keith's theory that Abel Koontz couldn't have killed Lilly because he was with Cheyenne, a call girl. The reporter says flat out (in front of this call girl) that this whole thing sounds far too tabloidy and would basically jeopardize his entire career. Cheyenne's pretty happy to say, "Great! We tried! We're done now!" but Keith's adamant and hands over a file with a whole hell of a lot more proof.
We open in Havana, Cuba. Funnily enough, it looks a lot like Neptune, except with horses. Duncan is spending some time there to grow an ugly beard hide out for awhile.
Lorraine: That beard definitely looks like it's trying too hard.
Diva: Keith has managed to track him down, while wearing a hat that makes me fully unable to take him seriously. Duncan wants to know if Keith also thinks he's a murderer. He tells Duncan that he doesn't know who killed Lilly, but he knows it wasn't Abel Koontz. Duncan is all, yeah, but it also wasn't ME, so let me grow my chin-pubes in peace
Lorraine: That beard definitely looks like it's trying too hard.
Diva: Keith has managed to track him down, while wearing a hat that makes me fully unable to take him seriously. Duncan wants to know if Keith also thinks he's a murderer. He tells Duncan that he doesn't know who killed Lilly, but he knows it wasn't Abel Koontz. Duncan is all, yeah, but it also wasn't ME, so let me grow my chin-pubes in peace
Neptune High Parking Lot. Veronica's car has stopped and lots of people are honking at her and generally being shit waffles because they SEE Veronica is having issues, so why honk? Logan and his Brogans are casually passing by, in "making jokes about poor people" distance. Logan is carving up an apple and Veronica grabs his knife all while brushing off their subpar insults.
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
We begin in the Mars Investigations Offices with Veronica tutoring Weevil in math. This scene not only gives us some adorable Veronica/Weevil time but also reminds us that the gang leader with the heart of gold is not only sweeter than he lets on, but smarter than the school system gives him credit for. He dismisses a word problem he doesn't want to answer by giving Bob the fictional Word Problem Guy some financial advice. I'm overselling this - that advice was basically, "Illegal stuff makes a lot of money!"
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
We begin with Deputy Mumbler's tongue in Veronica's mouth. He basically asks if he can come inside the Mars apartment and have sexytimes with her, but she's like, nuh-uh. She also mentions that their age difference is 29 months, which is a few years less than I had been estimating. Are there really nineteen-year-old cops? I mean, I guess if you can be a soldier at 18, you can be a cop at 19, but I can't pretend I'm comfortable with the idea of teens in the police force.
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?
Veronica is still sitting in front of her computer, reminding us that Abel Koontz has a daughter and Clarence Weidman knows she knows. V believes Jake Kane bought a dying man's confession, since his family needed a fall guy. She uses PrivateEyez.com to search for Amelia Delongpre. She needs to find Amelia before Clarence does. Her search reveals that Amelia lives in LA! LA is where all the mystical relics are always conveniently located, so I don't have a hard time believing a key witness would be there.
Sweeney: A KEY witness in the land of mystical relics? IS AMELIA DELONGPRE A KEY? IS SHE RELATED TO DAWN SUMMERS? I have so many questions.
Sweeney: A KEY witness in the land of mystical relics? IS AMELIA DELONGPRE A KEY? IS SHE RELATED TO DAWN SUMMERS? I have so many questions.