WE DID IT! We're here! Dance party time!
OK, so, we often begin rankings with a discussion of how bad we are at ranking things, but seriously, seriously, this is the hardest ranking I've ever had to do. I love all 22 of these episodes. I'd watch any of them in a heartbeat and they are all near and dear to my heart. Both of the non-Snows began this project by discussing how we count this as one of the best seasons of TV ever (it's part of our description for the show!) and that opinion holds. Whatever new flaws I may have picked up on this rewatch, I will forever love this show and Veronica and, especially, this season.
FINALE TIME, FRIENDS. It's been a long haul to the finale, what with posting being only weekly and less, still, when you account for all the lateness, but HERE WE ARE. The big finish. We'll talk a lot next time about how incredible this season of television is, when I attempt to rank a season in which I LOVE ALL 22 EPISODES. ALL OF THEM. For now, there's still a mystery to wrap up, so let's get to it.
We start with a reporter, sitting in his cubicle, incredulously listening to Keith's theory that Abel Koontz couldn't have killed Lilly because he was with Cheyenne, a call girl. The reporter says flat out (in front of this call girl) that this whole thing sounds far too tabloidy and would basically jeopardize his entire career. Cheyenne's pretty happy to say, "Great! We tried! We're done now!" but Keith's adamant and hands over a file with a whole hell of a lot more proof.
We start with a reporter, sitting in his cubicle, incredulously listening to Keith's theory that Abel Koontz couldn't have killed Lilly because he was with Cheyenne, a call girl. The reporter says flat out (in front of this call girl) that this whole thing sounds far too tabloidy and would basically jeopardize his entire career. Cheyenne's pretty happy to say, "Great! We tried! We're done now!" but Keith's adamant and hands over a file with a whole hell of a lot more proof.
We open in Havana, Cuba. Funnily enough, it looks a lot like Neptune, except with horses. Duncan is spending some time there to grow an ugly beard hide out for awhile.
Lorraine: That beard definitely looks like it's trying too hard.
Diva: Keith has managed to track him down, while wearing a hat that makes me fully unable to take him seriously. Duncan wants to know if Keith also thinks he's a murderer. He tells Duncan that he doesn't know who killed Lilly, but he knows it wasn't Abel Koontz. Duncan is all, yeah, but it also wasn't ME, so let me grow my chin-pubes in peace
Lorraine: That beard definitely looks like it's trying too hard.
Diva: Keith has managed to track him down, while wearing a hat that makes me fully unable to take him seriously. Duncan wants to know if Keith also thinks he's a murderer. He tells Duncan that he doesn't know who killed Lilly, but he knows it wasn't Abel Koontz. Duncan is all, yeah, but it also wasn't ME, so let me grow my chin-pubes in peace
Neptune High Parking Lot. Veronica's car has stopped and lots of people are honking at her and generally being shit waffles because they SEE Veronica is having issues, so why honk? Logan and his Brogans are casually passing by, in "making jokes about poor people" distance. Logan is carving up an apple and Veronica grabs his knife all while brushing off their subpar insults.
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
We begin in the Mars Investigations Offices with Veronica tutoring Weevil in math. This scene not only gives us some adorable Veronica/Weevil time but also reminds us that the gang leader with the heart of gold is not only sweeter than he lets on, but smarter than the school system gives him credit for. He dismisses a word problem he doesn't want to answer by giving Bob the fictional Word Problem Guy some financial advice. I'm overselling this - that advice was basically, "Illegal stuff makes a lot of money!"
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
We begin with Deputy Mumbler's tongue in Veronica's mouth. He basically asks if he can come inside the Mars apartment and have sexytimes with her, but she's like, nuh-uh. She also mentions that their age difference is 29 months, which is a few years less than I had been estimating. Are there really nineteen-year-old cops? I mean, I guess if you can be a soldier at 18, you can be a cop at 19, but I can't pretend I'm comfortable with the idea of teens in the police force.
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?
Veronica is still sitting in front of her computer, reminding us that Abel Koontz has a daughter and Clarence Weidman knows she knows. V believes Jake Kane bought a dying man's confession, since his family needed a fall guy. She uses PrivateEyez.com to search for Amelia Delongpre. She needs to find Amelia before Clarence does. Her search reveals that Amelia lives in LA! LA is where all the mystical relics are always conveniently located, so I don't have a hard time believing a key witness would be there.
Sweeney: A KEY witness in the land of mystical relics? IS AMELIA DELONGPRE A KEY? IS SHE RELATED TO DAWN SUMMERS? I have so many questions.
Sweeney: A KEY witness in the land of mystical relics? IS AMELIA DELONGPRE A KEY? IS SHE RELATED TO DAWN SUMMERS? I have so many questions.
Veronica has just returned from the end of the events of the last episode, and realizes that the only way Clarence Wiedman found her mom the same day she did - after nearly a year of searching - is if he had been spying on her. She tears her room apart and realizes that she kept a little panda pencil sharpener from The Wildlife Alliance in exchange for a donation she never made. I'd keep it too, Veronica, because pandas are adorable. (L: And if it's free, it's me.) (D: +1) Sure enough, she opens it up (by which I mean SHE BEHEADS IT! THE HORROR) and finds a bug. (D: Not an insect, because ew. Like a recording-device bug.) Thanks to this not-an-insect bug, Wiedman heard her book a flight to Barstow.
We begin at Neptune High, where a "Total Eclipse of the Heart" banner is hung up to notify us that there's a dance a-coming. (L: Another one!) Veronica and Logan are discussing Lisa Rinna's credit card statement - she used her maiden name for this card. And rented a red Benz convertible, which I think is the same car she allegedly crashed on the bridge. Maybe get a yellow one next time, just to go a little more incognito? Anyway, Logan sincerely thanks Veronica for helping him.
Duncan is helping plan the 80s dance and wants to know if anyone has asked Veronica to the dance; she snarks that she's just waiting by the phone for that special boy to call.
Duncan is helping plan the 80s dance and wants to know if anyone has asked Veronica to the dance; she snarks that she's just waiting by the phone for that special boy to call.
The previouslies, the last five seconds of the last episode and the beginning of this episode bleed together, so that Veronica opens the door to find Logan, he asks her to find his mother, and then Veronica, with some genuine concern in her voice invites him into the Plush Poor People Apartment.
Democracy Diva: I like this show's habit of picking up from where we left off when the episodes end on particularly cliffhanger-y notes.
Lor: Inside, Logan insists that his mother isn't dead, and can't understand why everyone is assuming she is, since there is no body. Veronica asks about the lady who's all over the news, claiming to have seen Lisa Rinna jump.
Democracy Diva: I like this show's habit of picking up from where we left off when the episodes end on particularly cliffhanger-y notes.
Lor: Inside, Logan insists that his mother isn't dead, and can't understand why everyone is assuming she is, since there is no body. Veronica asks about the lady who's all over the news, claiming to have seen Lisa Rinna jump.
The episode begins with a wealthy black man (*gasp*!) yelling at someone on the phone as he lounges by the pool. His wife comes over and he grumbles how it's always nice there. She has stuff for him to sign, like permission slips for their kids who live a wonderful cushy life which is far removed from the life that he had growing up on the streets. (L: First generation rich, natch.) His wife teases him about his discomfort with this: "And the street was tough and you lost a lot of homies. But this is Neptune." As he's wondering how he ended up with "National Black Velvet and Urkel" for children, Urkel walks up. (Probably wondering how such a smart kid ended up with a dad who didn't see how awesome that is.) Unfortunately, Urkel's got bad news: National Black Velvet is missing.
Previously: Keith and Lamb team up to solve the case of the E-String Strangler, who doesn’t actually strangle, but definitely impacts tourism. — Clash of the Tritons Democracy Diva: I’m...
Veronica wishes Keith a good morning and gets a, "you don't hang out at the Oceanside bars, do you?" in response. So, probably not a great morning for him. She jokes about preferring biker bars, though Keith is not in a joking mood as a 20-year-old co-ed was recently found murdered. Keith shows Veronica the newspaper, which has a big "The E-String Strangler Strikes Again" headline. I read e-string, and my mind immediately went to the Internet. This murderer is probably not strangling people with a string he bought online, though. Just to clarify.
Democracy Diva: At least it's not a g-string strangler.
Democracy Diva: At least it's not a g-string strangler.
While this blog changes my opinions of everything and also I find it challenging to rank episodes because I love every episode in this season, I flailed a little when I first realized this one was mine and I've gotten pumped about it every time since. Fingers crossed that it's as glorious as I remember.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
We open at the close of the previous episode, with Veronica sobbing in her car. She's trying to deal with the news that Jake Kane is her real father, and worse, that Duncan is her - - *pause for an out-the-car-door puke* -- half-brother.
Sweeney: I love that they split this. Dealing with the emotional blow of the news at the close of the one episode and freeing Veronica up for the internal game of twenty questions and pull over vomit at the open of the second, giving each set of reactions the distinct weight they deserve.
Diva: Amen. Veronica decides she wants to take down Jake Kane, hard.
Sweeney: I love that they split this. Dealing with the emotional blow of the news at the close of the one episode and freeing Veronica up for the internal game of twenty questions and pull over vomit at the open of the second, giving each set of reactions the distinct weight they deserve.
Diva: Amen. Veronica decides she wants to take down Jake Kane, hard.