I think the credits like me better than Sweeney. I get a new place today! Off we go to King's Landing, Harrenhal, Riverrun, Winterfell on Fire, The Wall, and Yunkai!
Sweeney: OH. COOL. -_-
Lor: We start at the Brotherhood Without Banners and they are praying to the Lord of Light, to give them wisdom and to let The Hound die if he's guilty, "for the night is dark and full of terrors." I feel really bad stereotyping an entire group of fictional characters based solely on their religion, but maybe now that they've all chanted "the night is dark" thing, I can stereotype them based on their motto? No? I'M SORRY. They are just creeping me out now.
Cordelia starts us off by using a window as a mirror to apply some lip gloss. Angel startles her when he walks in, and she gives herself a little bit of a Joker mouth. As she cleans herself up, she jokes about being too young and carefree for a heart attack. Angel turns the joke around on her as he sorts through some files, and remarks that she should be less young and carefree with those, as she's placed a Mrs. Benson's file under F. Cordy remembers that she did so because Mrs. Benson is from France, a fact that she relates with her being a pain in the ass. Also, Cordelia is wearing a large bandanna as a top.
We open in the Bigger on the Inside Dorm Room where Buffy and Riley are making out on her bed and the background music suggests that the show has been relocated to Capeside. I fully expect Joey Potter to climb in the window any minute (#TeamPacey). (L: #duh) Riley asks if she's expecting anyone (yes, Joey Potter. We just established that, dude), and she says that Willow's going to be at the library all night. He starts to pull her shirt up and Willow, cockblocker extraordinaire, bursts through the door to rescue us all from the need for brain bleach (which is an excellent thing, because I know what's coming in episode 18, and we'll need to hoard that shit like it's gold).
Sweeney: As with many of our big plans, this was meant to be edited and uploaded sooner. This was going to happen in the same universe where we were going to...
Shit got so real last time that I'm even willing to tell you all the stuff from the opening credits, even though I'm still not on good terms with them. King's Landing, Harrenhal, Riverrun, Winterfell (STILL ON FUCKING FIRE), The Wall, Astapor. I pay attention and you gave me nothing new! You did inform me that Natalie Dormer, granddaughter FLOWERBOSS is in this episode, so I'm pumped. I'd also add that we no longer cross at The Narrow Sea, rather, The Shivering Sea. And Astapor is just off The Gulf of Grief. Those sound like the worst bodies of water ever.
Lorraine: See?? Even when the credits have nothing new to tell us, there is always something new to note, because seriously, who the hell would live just off the Gulf of Grief?
Lorraine: See?? Even when the credits have nothing new to tell us, there is always something new to note, because seriously, who the hell would live just off the Gulf of Grief?
Kirsti: SURPRISE!!!! Lor didn't get the chance to watch today's episode of Angel before she flew out to California to hang out with Sweeney and DAMMIT WHY AM I ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. Anyway, Lor and I have done a swap, so you're stuck with me today. Which is absolutely fine by me, because today's episode has a spectacular guest star.
Sweeney: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lorraine: Seriously, thank you for doing this so Sweeney and I could hang out on the right side of the world. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Sweeney: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lorraine: Seriously, thank you for doing this so Sweeney and I could hang out on the right side of the world. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
This episode starts so directly after the end of the last, I thought for a second I was still watching previouslys. But no, Buffy and Riley are just sitting around, giving really good awkward silence. She breaks it first by suggesting one of them speak before graduation. Riley paces a bit before asking what she is. Buffy dryly offers, "Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You?" Riley apologizes for the blunt question, but he's in awe of her strength and speed.
Buffy turns the question around on him, and he assures her that she knows who he is. What he does, though, is confidential.
Buffy turns the question around on him, and he assures her that she knows who he is. What he does, though, is confidential.
Sweeney: It’s here, Traumateers! The beginning of the end! I feel like I can see the glorious light at the end of this shit tunnel.
Lorraine: While Sweeney and I were in California, during our goodbye brunch, we had a serious 15-20 minute conversation about the end of Fifty Shades, the amount of time we invested in it and how weird/awesome it will be when we're done. Thinking of the end gives me something like nauseous nostalgia. It's weird.
Sweeney: Before we dive into the nauseous nostalgia, the book begins with a page of thanks to various people who helped bring this book into being.
Lorraine: While Sweeney and I were in California, during our goodbye brunch, we had a serious 15-20 minute conversation about the end of Fifty Shades, the amount of time we invested in it and how weird/awesome it will be when we're done. Thinking of the end gives me something like nauseous nostalgia. It's weird.
Sweeney: Before we dive into the nauseous nostalgia, the book begins with a page of thanks to various people who helped bring this book into being.
Sweeney: The episode begins with Angel begging the Oracles for the thing we all want: UNDO IT. TAKE IT BACK. The Oracles give no shits, though, and tell him not to be so selfish. Obnoxious. Angel points out that Doyle was PTB(C)'s messenger to them, so he should come back with his visions. The Oracles are already walking away, though, because they don't care and this will work itself out. BYE. Then we see a demon running down an alley. Roll credits, WHICH STILL INCLUDE GLENN QUINN AND MY CORRESPONDING TEARS.
Sweeney: I talk about this a lot because the luck of the draw gave me a lot of the legit awesome episodes. For those of you who don't join the party in the comments section, we snark ladies have something of a debate over whether it's worse to be stuck spending more time with an episode that is awful (taking lead on a post is obviously more time consuming than contributing commentary) or attempting to snark something that is genuinely awesome. On the whole, I'm not complaining about having to do the former less often than the latter. (L: And really, the jury is still out.) All of that being said, this episode, buried in the abysmal season 4, is the only episode in the entire series to garner an Emmy nomination, because it's nothing short of brilliant.
After writing 22 separate posts about how terrible this book is, it has reached a point where we're not even sure how to simplify how much it sucks. Just in case you were looking for the tl;dr version (not to be confused with our usual snark which is more TOO TERRIBLE; PLEASE DON'T READ), we've put together a list of the stand-out awful moments, courtesy of one Christian Grey. Consider this your, "Fifty Shades Darker is Awful Talking Points Cheat Sheet."
Lorraine: Hello Traumateers!
We decided to pause for a wrap-up post for a couple of reasons: (1) - Have we mentioned we love finishing things? Man, we do. So pausing for a celebratory flail post is necessary.
(2) - We covered the entire book over the span of 22 weeks, which is a fucking lot, now that I think of it. Jesus, that's a lot of time dedicated to a load of crap. BRB. I didn't think I would need alcohol for a wrap up post, but alas.
Sweeney: It's always necessary for anything Fifty Shades related.
We decided to pause for a wrap-up post for a couple of reasons: (1) - Have we mentioned we love finishing things? Man, we do. So pausing for a celebratory flail post is necessary.
(2) - We covered the entire book over the span of 22 weeks, which is a fucking lot, now that I think of it. Jesus, that's a lot of time dedicated to a load of crap. BRB. I didn't think I would need alcohol for a wrap up post, but alas.
Sweeney: It's always necessary for anything Fifty Shades related.
Lorraine: Just when we seem to give up on the credits, it adds a shiny, new location to the map so we forgive it for being an occasional liar. I feel like this is an abusive relationship, Credits, but I don't know how to quit you. Today: King's Landing, Harrenhal, (new location) Riverrun, Winterfell on Fire, The Wall and Astapor.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Kirsti: Oh, Whedon. You really do like to deliver us ALL THE FEELS at once, don't you? Sigh.
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Kirsti: We open with Willow standing in the dark in Oz's bedroom while the Piano of Feels plays. She sits on his bed looking teary, and sniffs then hugs one of his t-shirts. We cut abruptly to Buffy walking through that random area full of sofas where all the students seem to congregate. Riley is helping some girls to hang a banner, and Buffy stops to...appreciate the view, I guess, based on her head tilt. Or maybe she's a little jealous, because she gets a relieved smile on her face when he flips the banner down to reveal that it's for the UC Sunnydale Lesbian Alliance. He tells her that he's planned out the picnic they were talking about having, and Buffy's all "Uhhh, whut?" And then Riley channels me with "So, was that a conversation I actually had, or just one I was practicing?"