I knew precious little about the "Fifty Shades of Grey" series when I picked it up-- mostly that it had been appearing all over my Goodreads timeline and that it seemed to have a polarizing effect on readers.
I probably should've paid more attention to the, you know, description.
It was the very first page of the book that convinced me that this story was begging to be snarked: it opened with a girl checking herself out in a mirror! Aw, E.L. James. Way to take a page out of 90% of all Sweet Valley High books ever written.
Lorraine: I’m not actually sure that this update will be at all snarky, mostly because it’s just me and I don’t have any material from Stine or Martin or Pascal...
——————————————————— For thirty-five girls, the Selection is the chance of a lifetime. The opportunity to escape the life laid out for them since birth. To be swept up in a...
Previously: Dawn has legit issues but we instead spend a whole book bringing Toddlers and Tiaras to Stoneybrook. — Sweeney: It has been a while, Traumateers. Lorraine: Yeeeeeah. Well. About...
Previously: We learned the valuable lesson that whores are not allowed on the cheerleading squad. Said whore then tries to commit suicide because she is sad and everyone is all...
Previously: The Baby-sitters said goodbye to Stacey and then hello to Mallory. They also went on vacation which isn’t exciting as it sounds. — Sweeney: I think I’m going to...
Nugs: When I was in high school, I hung out with this dude who was a massive stoner. He slept near his bowl the way old people keep their fingers...
Lily: We find ourselves with the Alden kids going on vacation yet again. Jessie told Henry that she believed their grandpa was up to something because he was extra happy,...
Previously: Mallory was accepted into the BSC and Stoneybrook was a hot, racist mess. — Lorraine: Our first Baby-sitter Super Special! One million imaginary internet points to the reader who...
Sara: Greg and his friends are all standing around talking about how bored they are living with their boring parents in a boring town and yes, they seriously use the...
Previously: Nancy went undercover at a magazine, and somehow that meant we overloaded a post with Twilight gifs. Cool. —Sweeney: Filled with jealousy that Sara and Lor are reading the...
Previously: Stacey left and we said goodbye to her like 87 times. —Nugs: I feel like I should get this out before the Ladies of Snark make some kind of...
Previously: We jumped ahead in the SVH series and covered books 95-100 aka the Evil Twin mini-series aka baby Jesus’ gift to us all. Now that the holidays are over,...
Lily: This is a story about a boy and his wolf. Lorraine: For a second there, I was going to be all, “JACOB?” but then I realized you said, “a...
Happy New Year Traumateers! We realize we were only off for a week, but we missed you guys anyways. We hope you are ready for another year of babies watching babies,...