Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 02: Hardware stores make me intense.

Ana hurries off the elevator, eager to get away from Grey, and almost falls. Again. I'm trying really hard here not to make the SHE IS BELLA SWAN observation, but I guess I just failed. Beyond that, I'm always very confused by authors who want to make their characters clumsy. I mean, I'm clumsy! I am. But it just always comes across so heavy handed in books. Ana just fell Bambi-style in Grey's office. Did we need her tripping off of an elevator a few pages later?
Ana tells us no less than four times that she has no idea what her reaction to Grey was all about. Well Ana, my personal opinion is that your reaction to Grey was all about you being an idiot. I guess we were supposed to glean that she was having a strong reaction to being around him. It's probably 'cause he's got all that built up static electricity.

Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 01: My eyes are totally rolling in exasperation.

I knew precious little about the "Fifty Shades of Grey" series when I picked it up-- mostly that it had been appearing all over my Goodreads timeline and that it seemed to have a polarizing effect on readers.
I probably should've paid more attention to the, you know, description.
It was the very first page of the book that convinced me that this story was begging to be snarked: it opened with a girl checking herself out in a mirror! Aw, E.L. James. Way to take a page out of 90% of all Sweet Valley High books ever written.

A Snarky Update

Lorraine: I’m not actually sure that this update will be at all snarky, mostly because it’s just me and I don’t have any material from Stine or Martin or Pascal...