We ended the last chapter with Tessa asking Hardin why he doesn't like her. He wants to know why she would even ask that. Tessa says it's because she's been nothing but nice to him (questionable) (S: Probably... not... though...) and she thought they could even be friends (in between judging his tattoos?). Hardin laughs at her because it's obvious why they can never be friends: she's too uptight and he thinks she probably grew up in the perfect home where she never had to work for anything. Well, we know she dresses like a Sunday School teacher Hardin, but that is presumptuous.
Tessa and Zed find the room but a dude is already sleeping in one of the beds. Zed is enthusiastic that at least one of the beds is empty. He then tells Tessa that he's going to walk back to his place, and he has a couch she could sleep on, *wink wink*. Tessa considers this but realizes that Zed would probably expect them to kiss and she's not really down for that. She also remarks on how easy it must be for Zed to get lots of girls to kiss him. She tells him she's going to stay here and his face falls but he understands. He leaves and Tessa locks the door.
The episode's adorable expository banter leads us into school supply shopping which is a thing I miss. I wrote out a whole very long paragraph about the glorious nostalgia this scene gave me, but I deleted it because I don't want to blow my nostalgia quota before we even hit the intro. Moving on. There is adorable banter about how Rory needs serious school supplies for her serious school.
Where you lead, I will follow!
Where you lead, I will follow!
Welcome back, dearest of friends. Welcome to the beginning of the end. We hope you made it through the dumpster fire that was 2016 in one piece. I'd say something about starting 2017 off on this terrible foot, but who are we kidding? We are going to laugh ourselves dizzy, and perhaps yell ourselves sad, but... friends and drinks. Welcome indeed.
Manor. It's Halloween. Piper is Glinda the Good Witch, Prue is something that involves glitter, and Phoebe is Elvira. Piper says she's got a new attitude and she's determined to celebrate the witches' holiday with enthusiasm. Phoebe objects to the portrayal of witches in popular culture and... I can't. Too on the nose.
DEO. Supergirl is still being choked by Kryptonian Coma Guy [KCG]. He flips her through some glass and runs out from his medical area. The DEO agents are both incompetent and puny, so they easily tossed aside by the super strong KCG, who seems to have all the same powers as the Supers. Alex shows up and I promise you she cannot successfully wield a gun or take down a bad guy unless we are at least 30 minutes into an episode. So, instead of taking the guy down, she just yells, "FREEZE!" KCG jumps out the window, lands unharmed, and super runs his way all the way into the title card.
Okay, so lets get this third episode party started! I'm your host, Samantha "Bubbles" Spice, and am an already avid GG junkie. Let's have some fun!
We kick things off at a Friday Night Dinner. Emily and Richard are listing off the various cooks they've had since Heidi, the last one that Lorelai remembers hearing about. Richard mixes up a cook named Anton and one named Sophia, which Lorelai can't let go because "one is a man and one is a woman." Maybe they don't identify that way Lorelai, you don't know.
We kick things off at a Friday Night Dinner. Emily and Richard are listing off the various cooks they've had since Heidi, the last one that Lorelai remembers hearing about. Richard mixes up a cook named Anton and one named Sophia, which Lorelai can't let go because "one is a man and one is a woman." Maybe they don't identify that way Lorelai, you don't know.
Our singing recapper (aka THE BEST THING EVER) (M: I'm gonna miss it so much) tells us what happened last week:
We begin with Luke telling Laurel about the bug briefing he got from Bob Isenstadt, the grandfatherly “Director’s Director” of the CIA. Laurel is rightfully suspicious, but Luke thinks she should be happy because this means she was right all along, and now the professionals will handle the crisis. He tells her she has to back off and let the CIA do their job.
We begin with Luke telling Laurel about the bug briefing he got from Bob Isenstadt, the grandfatherly “Director’s Director” of the CIA. Laurel is rightfully suspicious, but Luke thinks she should be happy because this means she was right all along, and now the professionals will handle the crisis. He tells her she has to back off and let the CIA do their job.
We pick up right where we left off, with the FBI examining Nassar's dead body. Atwood instructs some soldiers to bring him the names of anyone who handled his food, DNA, fingerprints and camera footage. Atwood then walks to Hannah and very shiftily comments that now no one knows the truth about Nassar. Hannah's like, "uh, we do...?" But they don't have proof. Hannah says they need to follow-up with the one lead they have: Catalan. Atwood is scared, though, because if they are the only two who know about Catalan, that means they'll be targeted next.
Lorelai and Rory are sitting on the porch. Lorelai is painting Rory's toenails red while she squirts whipped cream into her mouth. Lorelai tells Rory that she's starting private school the next day and private school girls are bad girls and bad girls wear red polish. She clearly subscribes to Bad Girl Styling school of thought. Lorelai asks if Rory is nervous about starting Chilton. Rory jokes that she wasn't until she heard all about these bad girls.
So we pick up with Hardin choosing Dare and then staring at Tessa in a way that makes her think she’s the one who has been dared to do something. Which is just untrue, so Hardin’s gaze must have some sort of drug that makes you confuse actual facts.
Marines: ROOFIE GAZE!
Marines: ROOFIE GAZE!
So, for reasons that are beyond you, me, and every thinking person, Tessa is going to another party. This time, she's almost forced to wear some tight jeans because after one week at school, she has to do so much laundry, she doesn't have many other options. Sure, Tessa. I'm sure. Also, she pairs her tight jeans with a button up shirt, but it's black and sleeveless and has some lace on the shoulder and we all know lace is code for sin. We get confirmation of this when Stephanie says she actually likes Tessa's outfit today. She offers Tessa some eyeliner again, but Tessa passes, remembering how it got all smeared by her tears the last time.
This past weekend the Gilmore Girls revival premiered on Netflix. Why not choose this moment to start our journey from the very beginning?
A title card and jaunty yet dated music bring us to a street in the quaint town of Stars Hollow.
Annie: I know it's early for me to be already interrupting, but Pilot!Stars Hollow was filmed in a small town near Toronto. I visited it last year and all these years later, it really, really looks like Stars Hollow to me. (Sorry, sorry, sorry).
A title card and jaunty yet dated music bring us to a street in the quaint town of Stars Hollow.
Annie: I know it's early for me to be already interrupting, but Pilot!Stars Hollow was filmed in a small town near Toronto. I visited it last year and all these years later, it really, really looks like Stars Hollow to me. (Sorry, sorry, sorry).
After the previouslies, we’re taken to a prison filled with heavily armed soldiers. An orange-clad prisoner, his limbs shackled and a black sack over his head, is escorted down many, many hallways in slow motion. Eventually the dude is put in a cell and the bag is removed from his head, but even then the cameraman is weirdly coy about showing us the prisoner’s face. We know from both the previouslies and the cheater-y newscaster voiceover that the prisoner is Majid Nassar, so the super-suspenseful music and dramatic buildup to reveal his face, like everything else on this show, makes zero sense. But, hey — at least it’s consistent!
Prison or something. Officer Toby walks up to the front desk and shiftily hands the lady something from Lieutenant Tanner. He hangs around, though, after he's completed this task so I'm not sure if we're supposed to understand that Tanner didn't really send him or that he's horrible at dropping papers off. (S: It was the weirdest. Why is the acting direction always "make this mundane task as disconcerting as possible"?)(J: Maybe he's just been in this show so long he doesn't know how to NOT do it that way.)