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Supernatural S05 E07 – Dean is Hamiltrash.

We open with a woman on the couch reading one of those trashy magazines that declares the Apocolypse here. A man comes in the front door and she greets him but he just runs straight upstairs. He heads into the bathroom all sweaty and panicked. He looks into the mirror as his skin begins to wrinkle and his hair falls out. He turns into an old old man and collapses into a cabinet. (K: It's very...Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
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Supergirl S01 E09 – I am not okay with this.

The episode picks up right where the last episode ended. Supergirl and Non go busting through the ceiling of Lord Technologies and begin to duke it out in the sky. They're briefly interrupted by an airplane RUDELY flying in the middle of their fight but they carry on by smashing into the ground. Non has Supergirl in a chokehold and tells Supergirl that she's as weak as any human. Hank comes out with a blaster gun thing and Non drops Kara to go after Hank. Is this a good time to ask what they wanted with Lord Technologies in the first place?
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Doctor Who S04 E02 – Caecilius est in TARDIS

  • Posted byby K
  • January 14, 2016
First things first: if that post title brings up all kinds of horrible childhood memories for you, WELCOME TO THE CLUB. For those of you who looked at it and went "Whut", just know that Caecilius was an actual resident of Pompeii, and he and his family form the basis of the first book in the Cambridge Latin Course, used to teach children all over the world - including me - a dead language since 1970. In short, how could I not?!
Marines: Those of us who were never forced to learn a dead language still commiserate with your childhood trauma. The Snark HQ liquor cabinet is open and well stocked.
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Supernatural S05 E06 – Don’t piss off small children

  • Posted byby K
  • January 13, 2016
Is anyone else going to spend the next eternity with that stupid song lodged in their brain on an endless loop, or is that just me?
Anyway. Alliance, Nebraska. A college aged girl sits way too close to the TV, brushing her hair. There's a noise from the back of the room. She looks around, a little freaked, and the music gets all "OMG WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS IS SO TENSE!!" as she walks slowly towards a big cupboard. She pulls open the door, and the kid she's babysitting is in there, pretending to be dead. He's got one of those fake arrow headbands on, and has covered himself in tomato sauce. (That's ketchup to you, America.)
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Supergirl S01 E08 – Just rocks.

So after last week's surprise family reunion, Astra has two of her lackeys holding Kara on a rooftop somewhere.
Astra asks Kara if she really thought their fight was over and Kara answers that by putting the smackdown on her two silent captors. She almost manages to fly away before one of the lackeys grabs her and Astra hauls her up to her feet. (S: The way they just grab her and yank her back down looks so lame on all accounts lol.)
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The OC S03 E23 – Why are teenagers so dramatic? Because they aaargh!

  • Posted byby Dim
  • January 7, 2016
Hi everyone, time for the potted history of The OC and me- I LOVE this show! At age 17, this was my life. I laughed, I cried, I flunked my AS levels due to bingeing on the boxsets instead of studying. I even wrote an article about it for my school magazine entitled “The OC: why we’ve all gone Obsessive Compulsive over Orange County.” I’m actually not allowed to watch any of the dramatic episodes, or the final episode, because I cry so much that my sister always rushes in from wherever she is to see if I’ve finally impaled myself on one of the glass swans that my parents are so fond of. (I’m very clumsy, it could happen.)
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Doctor Who S04 E01 – Adorable fat

  • Posted byby K
  • January 7, 2016
DONNA THE TOTAL BEST is wearing a business suit and walking purposefully through a busy street. The Doctor is walking in the opposite direction. They both end up in front of the same building: Adipose Industries.
Donna walks in the main entrance and the Doctor sonics his way through a back door. Donna flashes an ID to a security guard and says she's from Health and Safety. The Doctor does the same, flashing his psychic paper. Neither of the guards these two encounter look particularly interested anyway.
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Supernatural S05 E05 – What’s a VIN number?

Confession time. Whenever I rewatch this show I usually skip the teaser at the beginning, if it doesn't have the boys in it. Why? Because at one point I developed a weird fear that someday I will be the person in a teaser-like situation. Yes, I am aware that monsters are not real but also you never know, you know? They always end bad and bloody and I've just taken to avoiding them. The things I do because I love you all.
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Charmed S02 E20 – Chimps or Monkeys?

Breakfast at the Halliwell Manor. Phoebe asks Piper if she got "the postcard" from Dan and I'm confused because aren't they not on good terms after he attacked her boyfriend for being a liar and a war veteran? Apparently he's having a great time wherever he is, so... great?
Marines: He probably only sent the postcard because he's having a good time and stupid ex-girlfriends need to know that.
Stephanie: Anyway, Piper is distracted by a letter from the doctor that treated her when she got sick from handling space fruit. Yup, we all wanted to revisit that plot.
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Supergirl S01 E07 – Dark and scary hallways

Supergirl is getting something like a super-physical. A voice-over of Holo-Mom explains that Kara's cells have drained after fighting that robot thing last episode. She's basically a real girl now and things will be able to hurt her. Her powers should return as soon as she's absorbed enough yellow sun power. (S: Thank god she doesn't live in Ohio. I haven't seen the yellow sun in a week.) We cut to the Back Room of Solitude, where Holo-Mom is wrapping up her handy information in a slightly impersonal, AI kind of way. Supergirl sighs.
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Dawson’s Creek S04 E04 – College plans lead to booze

  • Posted byby K
  • January 4, 2016
We open in Joey's bedroom. Pacey's reading 1984 and declares himself to be bored. There's no point, he says, in reading about the future when it's already the past. He grumbles about how people in the 1950s got totally caught up in what the future would be like, and then 1984 wasn't that bad. "Except for that whole Boy George thing..." he says, and DAMMIT, PACEY. Now I want to watch The Wedding Singer...
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Supergirl S01 E06 – Angry anger

Okay so the episode starts with Kara flying over the city. Alex beeps in to ask if everything is okay since usually flying = cheesy battles. But no, this time Kara is just flying to clear her head. But, of course, duty calls and Kara hears some trouble a brewing.
Marines: I don't want to start every episode with Supergirl flying and making some statement that then gets immediately negated. I DON'T WANNA.
Samantha: We cut to the spin off Fast and Furious show that Vin Diesel has been talking about and I get excited! Two guys are yelling at each other and banging their cars together. It's Fast and Furious: Road Rage, y'all. Of course they're doing this in a school zone and almost super murder a bunch of little kids crossing the street.
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The OC S03 E22 – Misunderstandings waiting to happen.

  • Posted byby Grace
  • December 3, 2015
Hello friends! I'm super excited to guest recap for my internet idols, the lovely Snark Ladies, especially since I, like so many of my predecessors, have never seen this show before. Away we go!
After the previouslies, we open with Ryan carrying a duffel bag into what I can only assume is a palace – no, wait, it appears to be the Cohens’ house. (M: 75% of that house is imaginary and unusable anyway.) He goes to the kitchen, where Seth is chilling out with his own duffel bag. He eyes Ryan’s luggage: “You taking all that? You only own like a wifebeater and 2 hoodies.” Ryan says he doesn’t know what you’re supposed to pack for a prospective student weekend, so he just threw everything in.
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Dawson’s Creek S04 E03 – #fortyshadowing

Capeside High. You can probably tell from the title of this episode that the topic of discussion is Two Gentlemen of Verona, because subtlety is not this show's forte. Anyway, Drue (why is this the spelling of his name, show? why?) (K: SERIOUSLY) is disgusting and weird and creepy towards Joey. Dawson and Joey answer questions about the play that are really about their love triangle with Pacey. Drue suggests that Joey and Dawson prepare a formal debate on the play, because he's the actual worst. The teacher agrees, because teachers always let 17-year-olds assign each other projects and dictate lesson plans. At least the teacher makes Drue participate as well.
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Supernatural S05 E04 – The angels have the phone box.

  • Posted byby K
  • December 2, 2015
The previouslies remind us of the Croatoan virus and I suddenly get very excited because I just remembered which episode this is. Also how much of a bitch it was to find gifs for Croatoan when I recapped it JUST after Croatoan Day last year. BUT I DIGRESS. (S: Croatoan is one of my top ten favorite episodes so I also get excited for this one.) (K: Legit.)
Dean pulls the Bromobile up on a city street and hops out. An escapee from the Book of Mormon cast asks if Dean's taken time to consider God's plan for him. "Too friggin' much, pal," Dean says with an eyeroll.