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Doctor Who S03 E13 – Rebellion Magic

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 11, 2015
We head straight into DOO WEE OOOH after the previouslies, and then a title card lets us know that this episode picks up one year after the previous one. A man standing on a beach signals to a row boat that is approaching the shore with a lamp. Martha gets off the boat and runs up to the man. She asks his name (Tom Milligan) and but he doesn't need to ask for hers: she's the famous Martha Jones. He asks how long it's been since she's been in Britain. 365 days. "It's been a long year."
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#snarkathon – Twilight

  • Posted byby Annie
  • November 10, 2015
Have you had enough Twilight yet? Well, that's too bad, because we decided to have a Twilight Snarkathon. Let's get right to it.
The movie opens with a shot of a forest and a deer being chased by some unseen creature. This thing pounces National Geographic station style on the deer.
Next, we get a Bella voiceover explaining that she’s moving to Forks.
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Supergirl S01 E02 – Inspirational scores for days.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 7, 2015
I haven't even pressed play to start rewatching this episode and I'm already rolling my eyes. So that's how I feel about this, friends.
We start with an inspiring voice over as we get an extended sequence of Supergirl flying around. It's been a week since she's revealed herself and things are going pretty well. CUE A MISSILE COMING AT HER har har har.
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Supernatural S04 E22 – Just drink.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 4, 2015
LOOK AT ME! I'm recapping an episode of Supernatural!
...which probably explains why this is all late because I'm messing up Kirsti's timeliness completely. Sorry I'm the worst!
Kirsti: Who cares about timeliness when it means I GET AN EPISODE OFF WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Mari: Oh, okay. I feel better!
Carry on my wayward son! I've been around these parts long enough to know that this song means we've reached finale time. There is a round of extended, season-long previouslies that ends with Sam walking out on Dean.
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The OC S03 E19 – It Could Happen

  • Posted byby Alex
  • November 4, 2015
I must preface this recap with my usual ‘I have no idea what’s going on’ disclaimer. I’ve done a few OC recaps now, but I haven’t kept up with what’s been happening between each one. I hope you find my confusion charming and endearing.
We kick things off at a nightclub. Summer and Seth are watching Ryan and some girl… wait, is that Rosalie from Twilight? It totally is! Weird. OK, I’ve looked her up and her name is Sadie.
Marines: She's been around for a few episodes but every time I see her face, I go "wait, is that Rosalie from Twilight..?!" Weird forever.
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Game of Thrones S05 E08 – I’ll be right back.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 3, 2015
We start in Meereen. Dany is in her magically white dress, on her throne, looking down on Jorah and Tyrion in icy silence. Jorah breaks the silence, but Dany promptly tells him to shut up. She asks how she's supposed to know Tyrion is who he says he is and why she shouldn't kill him if he is. Tyrion says that if she wants revenge on the Lannisters, he's a a pro at killing them.
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Grey Chapter 15 – Where’s the pie?

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 3, 2015
I honestly kept forgetting to write this recap. I've never been so proud of my brain.
Anyway.
"Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick."
Can I just start using "music to me [body part]" in real life now?
We start this chapter right in the middle of a goddamn conversation because EL James is the worst. If you'll recall, Ana wanted to talk about Grey's messed up childhood and he was like, "no. Vagina balls."
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Doctor Who S03 E12 – Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

  • Posted byby K
  • October 31, 2015
An alleyway somewhere in London. "VOTE SAXON" posters are plastered all over the walls. A blue swirly vortex appears and out pop Jack, Martha and the Doctor, courtesy of Jack's wrist cuff. They all immediately make NYARGH-y sounds because time travel without a capsule is horrible. Jack's impressed that they made it to the right place and the right time, but the Doctor says "That wasn't luck. That was me."
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Supergirl S01 E01 – A whole lot of episode.

You may remember in early September that we did a little poll to pick a new Fall 2015 show to review. Lots of you guys voted for Supergirl and it won, you may also remember. (S: Thank god it wasn't Scream Queens, thank god it wasn't Scream Queens.) (M: It can't be as bad as Gotham, it can't be as bad as Gotham.) (C: Not a high bar, you guys.)
You may not remember much else but that's okay, because I'm here to help.
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Doctor Who S03 E11 – Say my name.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • October 27, 2015
The TARDIS materializes and the Doctor announces they are in Cardiff. Martha is like, "CARDIFF?" so he has to explain that Cardiff is built on a rift in time and space. He stops here every now and then to refuel. The Doctor says it should only take 20 seconds, but also notes that the rift has been active.
We cut outside. Someone is running toward the TARDIS, but we don't quite see his face. Some of you may notice that the Torchwood theme is playing. I didn't notice but I always watch with closed captioning, so.
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Dawson’s Creek S04 E02 – Confidenti-huh?-lity

  • Posted byby K
  • October 26, 2015
Capeside High. Pacey and Joey wander adorably, hand in hand. He gripes about how he's been called to the guidance office already, and she quips that maybe they just want to tell him how supportive they are of his future as a gas station attendant. Harsh, Jo. Pacey, meanwhile, wants to discuss couple-y things. Namely, public displays of affection and whether they're acceptable at school.
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Dawson’s Creek S04 E01 – BOAT!SEX

Pacephine is fishing and kissing to the delight of millions. Unfortunately, they're only a few hours from Capeside, when Pacey pitches the idea to just live off the boat LITERALLY FOREVER. And just never go back. He speechifies about how they'd only miss recycled plot lines and other meta things like that, and they should probably just never go back and continue making out. Then they jump off the boat holding hands in slow motion.
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Supernatural S04 E21 – Better dead than evil.

  • Posted byby K
  • October 14, 2015
We open basically where we left off, with Sam locked in Bobby's panic room. Dean opens the hatch on the door and Sam demands to be let out. But Dean's all "LOL NOPE" because Junkie Sam needs to get clean. Sam insists that it's a bullshit comparison because he's not doing it to get high. He's doing it to get strong enough to defeat Lilith. Dean scoffs and says he's being weak and pathetic.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.
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Grey Chapter 14 – Talk to the groin.

  • Posted byby Alex
  • October 13, 2015
Grey starts his day by casually jogging past Ana’s new apartment. He chuckles to himself about what a stalker he is but then immediately gets defensive. He’s just out for a run, OK? ‘It’s a free country’. Dude, there’s no one else here. You’re literally arguing with yourself right now about whether or not you’re being a stalker.
Marines: So, really, the question is if you are a deranged stalker or a super deranged stalker. It's a close call.
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Pretty Little Liars S05 E09 – Showdown at the eye doctor’s office

  • Posted byby Jessica
  • October 12, 2015
Marin Manor- Hanna's room. Spencer and Emily are taking on our job momentarily and poking holes in Ali's Noel-scares-Hanna's-mom plan from last episode. Spencer's particularly grumpy with her horse-kicked eye. (M: I'd be grumpy about everything with a horse-kicked-eye.) They all question Ali's decision but she snaps at them that Noel is the one she can trust, since all they do is ignore her SOS calls and spy on her every move. She storms out to go call her dad.