Twilight Chapter 06 – Field trips, werewolves and cold ones, oh my!

We open the chapter with Bellwaaaaah doing homework but really listening for her Wow. Free. Truck. to be returned. Even though she's concentrating really hard on it, she doesn't hear it when it's returned. Apparently the Cullens are magic. Or the truck is. Or something.
Marines: My theory is that one of the Cullens or Hales is a The Truck Whisperer. I'm so good at this.
Kirsti: My theory is that they carry it in rather than driving it, simply because it will fuck with Bella's head.

Twilight Chapter 05 – Incredibly bad for you.

To start, we did indeed hear the news of the gender-flipped Twilight reimagining. I've already started skimming through it, mostly to decide what to do with it. I think recaps are firmly off the table, only because it's like 90% copy/paste/find/replace pronouns. It doesn't make sense to recap the same stuff all over again (a lesson we're kind of learning over on the Grey recaps, which at least has the "benefit" of a POV switch...). I do think it's worth pointing out some things about the reimagining, namely all the stupid little changes Meyer made because of gender norms and sexism, I guess.

Twilight Chapter 04 – Premonitions of RAGE

Continuing on from yesterday's total lack of a cliffhanger, Bella tells us all about her Edward dream. In it, "what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin." Because he glows as well as sparkling, apparently. Oh. Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, Dream!Edward continually walks away from Bella no matter what she does. LOL.
Marines: I'm going to go ahead and call a red flag on dreams of your crush glowing in the dark and running away from you. Also WHAT THE CHEATERY, SKIN-GLOWING NARRATION HELL? Is Bella a prophet? Please just tell this Snow if the answer is yes so I can stop asking HOW SHE KNOWS SO MUCH. 

Twilight Chapter 03 – Edward Cullen: Mushroom

Bella is sad again. I know you're shocked.
This time it's because she starts the chapter by waking up to fresh snowfall. As someone who hates snow myself, I can't really blame her for this. But, ya know... I'm going to.
But worse than the snow is that apparently all of the rain from the day before has frozen solid and now everything is icy. Bella's first thought is, of course, about how she's going to manage to walk on all this ice since she has so much trouble walking in general. What must it be like to be so clumsy that your first thought is always whether or not you're going to survive a walk to your driveway?