Mountains Somewhere. We hear a woman moaning and I'm pretty sure it's done specifically in a way so the first thing you think is, "sexy time." But no. Some woman is giving birth and now I just feel all awkward. (S: Best PSA ever! YOU THINK SEXY TIME FEELS GOOD, KIDS? WELL THIS IS WHERE IT LEADS.) Echo is the midwife and WHY? WHY WOULD ECHO BE THE MIDWIFE? Are these parents on the run from the law? Is that baby the second coming of some deity? Did part of the job include scaling the mountain before assuming midwiferly duties? NO? No need for a doll to be the midwife.
Stephanie: This show obviously takes place in an alternate universe where everyone is terrible at their jobs, thus dolls are necessary to keep society functioning.
We begin with a Ryan and Seth walk-and-talk at school. Seth helpfully recaps the events of the last episode - namely, that Alex (or in my head, Punk!Olivia Wilde) kissed him and Ryan talked to Lindsay all night long at a bus stop. Ryan wants to take things slow, but Seth suggests that he invite Lindsay to another effing dance - the titular SnO.C.
Ryan is doubtful and kind of nervous and it's actually super endearing. He reminds Seth that bad things always happen at these parties, which is absolutely true, but Seth assures him it'll be fine. I think. It's hard to tell, because Seth has so many marbles in his mouth I'm not really sure what he's saying. I don't remember this ever bothering me during my Seth-Cohen-obsessed youth. Maybe I'm just getting old.
Ryan is doubtful and kind of nervous and it's actually super endearing. He reminds Seth that bad things always happen at these parties, which is absolutely true, but Seth assures him it'll be fine. I think. It's hard to tell, because Seth has so many marbles in his mouth I'm not really sure what he's saying. I don't remember this ever bothering me during my Seth-Cohen-obsessed youth. Maybe I'm just getting old.
We begin where the last episode ended, with Oswald arriving at Jim's door. Barbara shows him in and he introduces himself as Peter, a friend of Jim's. Barbara is lovely and jokes about not getting to meet Jim's friends. Jim walks Oswald out to have a chat about work things.
Alex: Oh, whoops. I totally assumed Barbara knew who Oswald was at the end of the last recap. Apparently not. But I'm sure that when she opened the door last week she looked worried, whereas now she's just being all charming and upbeat.
Marines: I mean, every other character in this show has been all, "YOU. PENGUIN." so it wasn't unreasonably to assume that she would also guess who he was. But no.
Alex: Oh, whoops. I totally assumed Barbara knew who Oswald was at the end of the last recap. Apparently not. But I'm sure that when she opened the door last week she looked worried, whereas now she's just being all charming and upbeat.
Marines: I mean, every other character in this show has been all, "YOU. PENGUIN." so it wasn't unreasonably to assume that she would also guess who he was. But no.
We open, predictably, in the Shrine o' Spielberg. Joey's crying her way through the first cut of Dawson's autobiographical shitfest. As it finishes, he asks for her opinion. "In my whole life, I've never been so unequivocally moved by words and moving images on screen!" she says before continuing that this movie will change people's lives. Dawson's thrilled. Joey says that there's no doubt that Jack McPhee will be one of the great filmmakers of our generation. Dawson's all "Skrrrrt, WHAT". He grabs the tape from the VCR and finds that it says it was directed by Jack.
He's confused. Jack climbs in the window, and he and Joey gush over each other for a minute before Jack says that he bumped into Spielberg and has been offered a job.
He's confused. Jack climbs in the window, and he and Joey gush over each other for a minute before Jack says that he bumped into Spielberg and has been offered a job.
I have been putting this off for an unreasonable amount of time, mostly because I've been busy but partially because of my struggle to get into this show. I was feeling kind of guilty about it, too, because I want so badly to love this thing that everybody else loves. Then I remembered that (a) the 1x01 comments are filled with amazing stories of many a devout Whovian's struggle to come into the light -and- (b) There are a half dozen, "LOL you gave Sweeney that episode to start with?" comments on the last post. So, you know, these are all things. What I'm saying is THANKS, GUYS.
(In truth, there's no winning for you - either you don't warn me and I'm all, "WHAT ARE WE WATCHING? WHY WHY WHY?' or you do warn me and I'm all, "THANK YOU FOR PLANTING SEEDS OF DREAD.")
(In truth, there's no winning for you - either you don't warn me and I'm all, "WHAT ARE WE WATCHING? WHY WHY WHY?' or you do warn me and I'm all, "THANK YOU FOR PLANTING SEEDS OF DREAD.")
Prue and Phoebe are going through old pictures and Phoebe is complaining about a lack of HER in all of them. Prue finds a couple of Baby Phoebe, including one with their mom. Phoebe catches some feels but before they can explore them too much, Piper rushes in looking for pen and paper. There's a knock on the door and on the way there, Piper exposits to her sisters that every year this man shows up on the same day with flowers for their grandmother from a secret admirer, when clearly he's the admirer.
Piper opens the door and it's Blatant Admirer with flowers for "Penny Halliwell."
Piper opens the door and it's Blatant Admirer with flowers for "Penny Halliwell."
First things first, this is the second of three episodes in this season that's named after a Led Zeppelin song. I know Dean loves his Zeppelin, but that's a little over the top. ANYWAY. Providence, Rhode Island. A junkie-looking young woman sits watching TV, surrounded by creepy-as-shit angel statues. She flicks from the Drew Carey Show to a televangelist, wibbling about how God is with you. She turns the TV off, and the lights flicker. The TV switches on again. The televangelist asks if she can hear the glory. The lights continue to flicker and the room starts to shake. She stares in shock and awe at a white light that appears.
FLAME ON!
FLAME ON!
Hello, Traumateers! The Snark Squad has, for some reason, allowed me to be your guide through the OC Season 2, Episode 4. I have never seen the OC, nor do I have any idea what it is about; however, from the title, I'm looking forward to some disruptive, forward-thinking Original Content. AM I RIGHT? (M: Best to let it be a surprise.) So. Let's get this show on the road.
Oh, as the opening recap begins, I'm noticing a lot of white people. And one semi-hispanic looking teenager. This is probably just situational, and there'll be a more diverse group coming up.
Oh, as the opening recap begins, I'm noticing a lot of white people. And one semi-hispanic looking teenager. This is probably just situational, and there'll be a more diverse group coming up.
Shrine O'Spielberg. Pacey has run right over because Dawson is in panic mode. It's mere minutes away from Dawson's sixteenth birthday, and Dawson thinks he is still as useless a human being as he was a year ago. Yup. Definitely true.
Kirsti: SO TRUE OMG.
Diva: Dawson waves around a bloody prop hand (that's not British slang - it actually has fake blood on it) as he wonders why he has gotten nowhere in the last year. Maybe it has something to do with your room looking like a murder crime scene? Dawson says that all he did in the last year was figure out his feelings for Joey, and she dumped him for a gay guy.
Kirsti: SO TRUE OMG.
Diva: Dawson waves around a bloody prop hand (that's not British slang - it actually has fake blood on it) as he wonders why he has gotten nowhere in the last year. Maybe it has something to do with your room looking like a murder crime scene? Dawson says that all he did in the last year was figure out his feelings for Joey, and she dumped him for a gay guy.
We start at the Improbable Bonfire again and I'll admit that I cheered a little. I don't know what it is about that bonfire. Maybe it represents the few seconds during the beginning where I still understand 100% of what's happening. Namely: FIRE. BIG FIRE.
Democracy Diva: It always just makes me think, FIRE BAD. TREE PRETTY.
Mari: Best thing to come out of that episode.
We zoom, zoom, zoom to 12 Grimmauld Place. Sam Keating (Viola Davis's husband) is all murdered on the floor and Laurel (I think. It's hard to tell in the murder lighting) is just looking at his body.
Democracy Diva: It always just makes me think, FIRE BAD. TREE PRETTY.
Mari: Best thing to come out of that episode.
We zoom, zoom, zoom to 12 Grimmauld Place. Sam Keating (Viola Davis's husband) is all murdered on the floor and Laurel (I think. It's hard to tell in the murder lighting) is just looking at his body.
We pick up exactly where we left off, with Rose running into the TARDIS. Only this time, the shot is from the inside. The Doctor grins and asks Rose where she wants to go first - forwards or backwards in time. She picks forwards, one hundred years. The Doctor flicks some switches and gizmos on the TARDIS console, and they vworp vworp their way to the 22nd century. But when they land, the Doctor declares 100 years to be nothing and suggests going further. Rose agrees, and he flicks some console stuff again. More vworp-ing, and they're 10,000 years in the future, at the height of the New Roman Empire. Rose smirks that the Doctor thinks he's impressive, and he decides they're going further. He mans the console again and we see the TARDIS flying through a time vortex. (L: Flying with our old, dear friends, Bad Special Effects. Man, those guys stay busy!)
We open with a news bulletin in Milwaukee about a siege going on at a bank downtown. A reporter informs us there are about ten hostages, then there's a kerfuffle in the background. The zoomy cameraman earns his pay cheque and shows us that Dean's in the doorway of the bank, using a security guard as a human shield. He yells at the cops to get back, then gets "OH SHIT" face when he sees the news cameras.
FLAME ON!
After the credits, it's the previous day and the boys are at a jewellery store pretending to be FBI agents.
FLAME ON!
After the credits, it's the previous day and the boys are at a jewellery store pretending to be FBI agents.
Mama Fields is on the phone, presumably with the LOLPD, trying to get some answers about the car that was thrown at her house. Apparently, there was no sign of the driver, which Pam finds super hard to believe. After the phone call, Pam tells Emily to quit sulking around the motel and go to her college guidance session.
Hasting's House. Emily, Aria and Spencer are together and worrying about the Fields family. Spencer says that A likes to throw cars at people AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING. Wait, did Sara know this was going to happen and inject that language into the recaps early? Whatever is happening here, I like it.
Hasting's House. Emily, Aria and Spencer are together and worrying about the Fields family. Spencer says that A likes to throw cars at people AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING. Wait, did Sara know this was going to happen and inject that language into the recaps early? Whatever is happening here, I like it.
A bus pulls up in a busy Gotham street, and the Penguin steps off wearing an ugly cableknit jumper. He looks around and smiles at the general crime and police corruption currently going on all around him, happy to be home.
Lorraine: But the question remains: why the heck does anyone else call this city where all the crime happens in broad daylight home?
Alex: A news report tells us that some rich guy, currently on trial for running a Ponzi scheme, is out on bail – much to the disgust to the citizens of Gotham who were the victims of his scheming. My knowledge of what a Ponzi scheme is is possibly the only good thing to come out of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s mercifully short time on Ringer.
Lorraine: But the question remains: why the heck does anyone else call this city where all the crime happens in broad daylight home?
Alex: A news report tells us that some rich guy, currently on trial for running a Ponzi scheme, is out on bail – much to the disgust to the citizens of Gotham who were the victims of his scheming. My knowledge of what a Ponzi scheme is is possibly the only good thing to come out of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s mercifully short time on Ringer.
I feel that I cannot appropriately recap an episode of the OC without first saying that Adam Brody will forever be Dave Rygalski to me.
Sweeney: It's important to start by letting us all know where you're at. We all have our, "In My Heart This Actor Can Only Have One Role" problems around here.
GFM: Dave is just so much more likeable than S2 Seth. Okay. On with the recap.
We open with Ryan, hanging out in his pool house, reading a newspaper, you know, as teens do, with a splashy “Newport’s Man of the Year Behind Bars” headline.
Sweeney: It's important to start by letting us all know where you're at. We all have our, "In My Heart This Actor Can Only Have One Role" problems around here.
GFM: Dave is just so much more likeable than S2 Seth. Okay. On with the recap.
We open with Ryan, hanging out in his pool house, reading a newspaper, you know, as teens do, with a splashy “Newport’s Man of the Year Behind Bars” headline.