I feel a bit weird in celebrating the end of season 1, because it feels like we literally just started it and now it's over. Still, at the very least we should celebrate getting past Joey's awful rendition of On My Own, so let's have a dance party!
Yeah yeah, I know that's technically a spoiler because it's from season 2. But I feel like that's exactly how Dawson, Joey and Pacey would react to our celebratory dance, so it seemed appropriate to use it.
Democracy Diva: Totally appropriate. I approve.
K: ANYWAY. On with the rankings!
Previously: Seth introduced us to Christmakuh and them chose himself in the Summer vs. Anna showdown. — The Countdown Coyote Rose: So I vaguely remember watching the first three episodes...
A new Hunger Games movie is upon us (well, a few months away, anyway), and the geniuses behind The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 have released seven Panem propaganda posters entitled "District Heroes." Each poster salutes a different district, as the Capitol implores its citizens to "love your labor" and, you know, generally stop supporting Katniss-inspired rebellions, I guess.
But since Snark Ladies know more about Panem than your average Lionsgate marketing genius, we thought it would be fun to tear these posters apart! Some are brilliant, others are bit off the mark, and the rest don't make any fucking sense at all. I will dole out Propaganda Points for how effective the poster would be at convincing the district citizens to support the Capitol, and Bullshit Ratings for how accurately it depicts life in that district (at least from the Capitol's point of view). Let the propaganda party begin!
But since Snark Ladies know more about Panem than your average Lionsgate marketing genius, we thought it would be fun to tear these posters apart! Some are brilliant, others are bit off the mark, and the rest don't make any fucking sense at all. I will dole out Propaganda Points for how effective the poster would be at convincing the district citizens to support the Capitol, and Bullshit Ratings for how accurately it depicts life in that district (at least from the Capitol's point of view). Let the propaganda party begin!
Shrine O'Spielberg. Joey is climbing in the window, as per their usual movie-watching routine, but Dawson didn't expect her to show up after their awkward post-beauty-pageant encounter. He didn't even rent any movies! For shame. Now that she knows Dawson's being weird about this, she decides to also be weird, saying that she came by to say she ... can't come by. Then she word-vomits about how the television metaphor for their relationship is getting old, and every night they just do the same old things in Dawson's "Spielberg-ized bedroom." Dawson broods in response, and turns on the television. Joey rants about cliffhangers and how manipulative they are; Dawson thinks they keep people guessing, but Joey says they're just proof that nothing ever really changes.
It's finally here!! The episode that every Dawson's Creek viewer - casual or devoted - remembers from season 1. NGL, I *may* have bribed Diva to let me do the first recap solely so that this episode fell to me...
Democracy Diva: And I may have agreed begrudgingly because THIS EPISODE, YOU GUYS. IT IS THE BEST/WORST/EVERYTHING-EST.
Democracy Diva: And I may have agreed begrudgingly because THIS EPISODE, YOU GUYS. IT IS THE BEST/WORST/EVERYTHING-EST.
I preface this with this bit of knowledge: I have never watched the OC. All I know about it is that they are in the “OC” which I think is in California somewhere, I want to say Orange County? Which I think is Los Angeles...ish? Look at me figuring things out all by myself! I’m sure I can figure out this teen-angst-plot-drama-rama with just one episode!
This episode is called “The Secret.” Unless the secret is that someone is Batman, I am not interested. However, I promised and while this isn't a show I would watch on my own, it certainly has to have some loltastic moments in it. Any show, no matter how straight and serious, has loltastic moments.
Further up and further in! After the previouslies, we start off with an establishing shot of California with some peppy music. (L: "A long time ago, we used to be friends...")
This episode is called “The Secret.” Unless the secret is that someone is Batman, I am not interested. However, I promised and while this isn't a show I would watch on my own, it certainly has to have some loltastic moments in it. Any show, no matter how straight and serious, has loltastic moments.
Further up and further in! After the previouslies, we start off with an establishing shot of California with some peppy music. (L: "A long time ago, we used to be friends...")
WE DID IT! We're here! Dance party time!
OK, so, we often begin rankings with a discussion of how bad we are at ranking things, but seriously, seriously, this is the hardest ranking I've ever had to do. I love all 22 of these episodes. I'd watch any of them in a heartbeat and they are all near and dear to my heart. Both of the non-Snows began this project by discussing how we count this as one of the best seasons of TV ever (it's part of our description for the show!) and that opinion holds. Whatever new flaws I may have picked up on this rewatch, I will forever love this show and Veronica and, especially, this season.
OK, so, we often begin rankings with a discussion of how bad we are at ranking things, but seriously, seriously, this is the hardest ranking I've ever had to do. I love all 22 of these episodes. I'd watch any of them in a heartbeat and they are all near and dear to my heart. Both of the non-Snows began this project by discussing how we count this as one of the best seasons of TV ever (it's part of our description for the show!) and that opinion holds. Whatever new flaws I may have picked up on this rewatch, I will forever love this show and Veronica and, especially, this season.
Shrine O'Spielberg Horror Movie Marathon. Dawson and Joey are watching I Know What You Did Last Summer (except I totally thought that it was Scream until Kirsti corrected me, because all these movies are the same) and it's the scene with Sarah Michelle Gellar, so I'm counting this as Buffy crossover magic.
Kirsti: Totally counts. Except that Buffy would never run away screaming.
Kirsti: Totally counts. Except that Buffy would never run away screaming.
Seth is pleading with Kirsten to put the recipe books away. She's desperate to treat Ryan to a proper family Thanksgiving, but Seth is convinced that Kirsten's cooking will destroy a holiday that he waits for all year. Even Eyebrows has to note that she's not inspiring a lot of confidence when she doesn't even know where the pans are in the kitchen.
More awkwardness ensues when she tries to ascertain what to do with the turkey. Were people not widely aware of the power of Googling yet in 2003? Google could answer your questions, Kirsten. (L: Complete with instructional Youtube video! ...were people Youtubing in 2003?) (S: Sadly, no, that didn't start until 2005.) Seth and Sandy both jump in to volunteer to do stuff, leaving Kirsten with the useful task of answering the phone.
More awkwardness ensues when she tries to ascertain what to do with the turkey. Were people not widely aware of the power of Googling yet in 2003? Google could answer your questions, Kirsten. (L: Complete with instructional Youtube video! ...were people Youtubing in 2003?) (S: Sadly, no, that didn't start until 2005.) Seth and Sandy both jump in to volunteer to do stuff, leaving Kirsten with the useful task of answering the phone.
Dearest Traumateers, I am writing this recap from Paris! And sure, I like announcing that I'm in Paris as much as possible, but also, it's kind of relevant because this is where we tell you what we've been up to.
Sweeney was traveling a ton in July (check out her videos about it here and here) and I met her a week ago in Paris. Since then, we've been waking up late, eating lots of bread and pastries, discussing the merits of goat cheese, almost dying on the Eiffel Tower (me), working some (Sweeney), talking a lot about Snark Squad (we can't help it) and meeting a group of wonderfulamazing Traumateers!
Sweeney was traveling a ton in July (check out her videos about it here and here) and I met her a week ago in Paris. Since then, we've been waking up late, eating lots of bread and pastries, discussing the merits of goat cheese, almost dying on the Eiffel Tower (me), working some (Sweeney), talking a lot about Snark Squad (we can't help it) and meeting a group of wonderfulamazing Traumateers!
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson mopes about the fact that Jen doesn't want to hang out any more now that they're exes and all. Because apparently when you dump someone, you should hang out with them all the time? IDEK. Joey "Voice of Reason" Potter informs him that it sounds like he doesn't want to admit it's over. She tells him there are three main areas to focus on in getting over Jen: 1. Public perception, 2. Prepare himself for Jen to date other people, 3. Having the inevitable "can we still be friends?" conversation with Jen. She asks what he'll say in regards to #3, and he has no idea. He wants to be friends, but he also doesn't because "how could you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, all you think about is how much more you really want them." Joey, inner pain poked with a stick, says that she thinks it can be done.
Ryan and Marissa are finally officially together and to show how together they are this episode starts with a make out session in Ryan's pool house.
Lorraine: I'm really uncomfortable with the heavy breathing Mischa Barton is doing right now. Just, FYI.
Sweeney: SAME.
Lorraine: I'm really uncomfortable with the heavy breathing Mischa Barton is doing right now. Just, FYI.
Sweeney: SAME.
FINALE TIME, FRIENDS. It's been a long haul to the finale, what with posting being only weekly and less, still, when you account for all the lateness, but HERE WE ARE. The big finish. We'll talk a lot next time about how incredible this season of television is, when I attempt to rank a season in which I LOVE ALL 22 EPISODES. ALL OF THEM. For now, there's still a mystery to wrap up, so let's get to it.
We start with a reporter, sitting in his cubicle, incredulously listening to Keith's theory that Abel Koontz couldn't have killed Lilly because he was with Cheyenne, a call girl. The reporter says flat out (in front of this call girl) that this whole thing sounds far too tabloidy and would basically jeopardize his entire career. Cheyenne's pretty happy to say, "Great! We tried! We're done now!" but Keith's adamant and hands over a file with a whole hell of a lot more proof.
We start with a reporter, sitting in his cubicle, incredulously listening to Keith's theory that Abel Koontz couldn't have killed Lilly because he was with Cheyenne, a call girl. The reporter says flat out (in front of this call girl) that this whole thing sounds far too tabloidy and would basically jeopardize his entire career. Cheyenne's pretty happy to say, "Great! We tried! We're done now!" but Keith's adamant and hands over a file with a whole hell of a lot more proof.
The episode begins with the opening chords to Savage Garden's "Truly Madly Deeply," so I am already entirely incapable of taking any of this seriously.
Kirsti: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight there with you. Also, I have had that fucking song stuck in my head for DAYS thanks to this episode. Even reading my "Bahahaha, Dawson's moping to Savage Garden!" notes was enough to get it stuck in my head again.
Kirsti: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight there with you. Also, I have had that fucking song stuck in my head for DAYS thanks to this episode. Even reading my "Bahahaha, Dawson's moping to Savage Garden!" notes was enough to get it stuck in my head again.
We open with a Cohen family breakfast and a Marissa/Summer powwow at Jimmy’s apartment. It’s back to school time for the kids and everyone is nervous. Seth’s nervous because he’s a huge loser; Ryan’s nervous because he’s about to go to a new school with a bunch of Lukes; Marissa’s nervous because she is a complete and total trainwreck and almost offed herself in Tijuana; Summer’s nervous because, actually no, Summer’s not nervous because she’s just better than the others. Summer reminds her human disaster of a friend that she has to plan the school carnival because she’s still the social chair. I’ve always wondered how people on television shows have enough time before school to hang out at their friends’ houses and gab about life. I was lucky if I had time to make a Toaster Strudel before hauling my ass to school.