I'm kicking off Segue Magic by veering off the topic considerably. Mostly because I haven't been enough places to have real favorites.
On the cutting room floor is a story about sitting with all the Sweeney siblings and a couple of cousins, listening to them talk about the number of places they've lived. When someone mentioned five (either for themselves or another cousin) there was good natured laughter. "Five is soooo low!"
...I've lived in two states my whole life, and one was only for like a hot minute while I broke teeth and learned to walk.
Angel and Gunn start us off with a pede-argument about whether or not they just take on some new case. Angel wants a full risk analysis, Gunn wants to go now, now, now. "Don't want to lose another baby with the bath water," Gunn says with a meaningful head tilt. Angel says fine. They'll send Spike.
Cut to Spike telling them to do it themselves, playing on what looks like a Game Boy Advance. There are Mario sound effects in the background of the rest of this scene. They all bicker back and forth about the super important job: some dead, demon mobster's body needs to be collected. He was a human-tolerant demon so they need to return him to his family to be revived, or else some other, less tolerant demons will take his place. Angel tells Spike to pack his bags and go.
Cut to Spike telling them to do it themselves, playing on what looks like a Game Boy Advance. There are Mario sound effects in the background of the rest of this scene. They all bicker back and forth about the super important job: some dead, demon mobster's body needs to be collected. He was a human-tolerant demon so they need to return him to his family to be revived, or else some other, less tolerant demons will take his place. Angel tells Spike to pack his bags and go.
Chicago, Illinois. A girl walks home late at night, listening to her iPod. She starts seeing a ghostly wind that has a big shadow and whispers really annoyingly, so she takes off running for her apartment. Smart move. She immediately arms her security system and breathes a sigh of relief. Then for some reason, she doesn't turn one damn light on in the whole place as she drinks a beer and listens to her messages on her answering machine. Right, because every 20 something owns an answering machine these days? And even if they did, they sure as shit wouldn't have three messages just from one night away at work.
Anyways, the camera pans back and we watch the shadows on the wall as something creeps up behind Beer Girl and stabs her in the back, blood squirting everywhere.
Anyways, the camera pans back and we watch the shadows on the wall as something creeps up behind Beer Girl and stabs her in the back, blood squirting everywhere.
SEGUE MAGIC LIVES! I don't really have words for how excited I am about this. Actually that's not true. The problem is that I have too many words. I recorded over 20 minutes of video and it was only through sheer force of will and tenacity that I managed to get it under 4. It ends sort of abruptly, but that's the price I had to pay.
This was sort of an odd topic to revive this with, what with it not being particularly pop-culture-centric, but it was fun and I could talk about it forever (clearly). I might cobble together an extras video of some sort for all the things I dropped. It's mostly just place #2 that suffered.
This was sort of an odd topic to revive this with, what with it not being particularly pop-culture-centric, but it was fun and I could talk about it forever (clearly). I might cobble together an extras video of some sort for all the things I dropped. It's mostly just place #2 that suffered.
The morning after the clone-twin murderunion, Rachel's apartment is now a crime scene, albeit an internal Dyad-run-crime-scene. Rachel arrives, not having anyone suggesting Daniel's body is too gruesome for her to see. She closes his dead eyes and the tender moment is cut short when she corrects Aldous's suggestion of Daniel's loyalty: "to you." Everyone's instantly aware that this is Helena's work, not Sarah's. There is security footage of the twins leaving together. There's a cryptic reference to whatever happened in Taiwan, but we only learn that Paul did his job well. Rachel finds the home movie of hers that Sarah watched. Aldous suggests that all of this has only happened because of her heavy-handed tactics, but Rachel says she's "only just begun."
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
You know what I love? Torture scenes! And sarcasm and this blog. (Two truths and a lie, guys!) Lucky me, we kick off my final full recap (!!!) in Gunn's very own Basement Of No Seriously You Know Don't Fucking Want To Go In There (K: A+), where he's being tortured and asking what he did to deserve the torture, what with his lack of memories. He calls out for the torturing demon to wait and it actually does, though not so much because of Gunn as because the ceiling is rumbling. The basement door swings open and it's none other than Illyria. That's a weird but pleasant surprise. Torture Demon tries to stop Illyria but is easily cast aside. Illyria rips Gunn's tacky mystical Hot Topic necklace off. (L: What a relief! For our eyes...) He slowly remembers who he is and who Illyria is and explains that he can't leave unless someone else puts on the necklace. Illyria has a really intense head-cocking I'VE GOT AN IDEA FACE.
In some offline news, I joined a local book club this past month! If I'm honest, I had a big worry about the people I would encounter there. I mean, I knew pretty quickly that they were lovely girls, very smart and well spoken with great taste in beer and good conversation. Still, there was that niggling fear in the back of my mind. I waited for my moment, and as soon as I saw it, I went for it: So, what did you guys think of Fifty Shades of Grey?
Lucky for me, the two girls who'd actually read the book hated it and everything was safe. I exhaled loudly and rushed through an explanation about how I spent almost two years recapping that book chapter by chapter.
Lucky for me, the two girls who'd actually read the book hated it and everything was safe. I exhaled loudly and rushed through an explanation about how I spent almost two years recapping that book chapter by chapter.
Hanna is laying in bed in the middle of the night when Mona creeps up on her like a total fucking creep. Mona tells Hanna that she was just released from Radley with a clean bill of mental health (lol k) and Hanna is like, "You were released in the middle of the night??" which is a valid question but an even more valid question would be, "HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE?" Why do these girls not all have security systems in their big, fancy, rich people homes?
Lorraine: Shit, I'd settle for locks in my big, fancy, rich people house.
Sara: Mona is worried because she has to start public school at Rosewood School For Not Having School, and she knows that everyone will be talking about her and how she tried to kill some people. (S: Girl, middle-of-the-night B&E is not really the way to go convincing people that you're not crazy.)
Lorraine: Shit, I'd settle for locks in my big, fancy, rich people house.
Sara: Mona is worried because she has to start public school at Rosewood School For Not Having School, and she knows that everyone will be talking about her and how she tried to kill some people. (S: Girl, middle-of-the-night B&E is not really the way to go convincing people that you're not crazy.)
Seeing as how the last episode ended with some implied rape, I'm kind of scared. I'm going to be flinching the whole time. We start moments after Sarah's car wreck. She comes to and sees Daniel next to her, passed out and bleeding. Cal opens the driver's side door and apologizes for the crash. He didn't know what else to do. Sarah grabs the Project Leda picture and Daniel's gun as Cal says they have to call the cops. LOL. Sorry, I never get tired of laughing at people suggesting someone call the cops.
Sweeney: THEY NEVER DO. The only people who call the cops are the rare characters who actually call the cops without having silly lines of dialogue in which they ponder at whether or not law enforcement should be involved in their very dangerous situation.
Sweeney: THEY NEVER DO. The only people who call the cops are the rare characters who actually call the cops without having silly lines of dialogue in which they ponder at whether or not law enforcement should be involved in their very dangerous situation.
We begin at Neptune High, where a "Total Eclipse of the Heart" banner is hung up to notify us that there's a dance a-coming. (L: Another one!) Veronica and Logan are discussing Lisa Rinna's credit card statement - she used her maiden name for this card. And rented a red Benz convertible, which I think is the same car she allegedly crashed on the bridge. Maybe get a yellow one next time, just to go a little more incognito? Anyway, Logan sincerely thanks Veronica for helping him.
Duncan is helping plan the 80s dance and wants to know if anyone has asked Veronica to the dance; she snarks that she's just waiting by the phone for that special boy to call.
Duncan is helping plan the 80s dance and wants to know if anyone has asked Veronica to the dance; she snarks that she's just waiting by the phone for that special boy to call.
A very rough looking Wes stands in Fred's old office, watching Illyria generally be weird in Evil Radio Shack below. When Angel turns up, Wes says that Illyria is either "counting oxygen molecules or analysing the petri dish she just put into her mouth." Angel tells Wes that Illyria isn't his responsibility, she's THEIR responsibility and they should be testing and/or studying her. Wes says that Illyria's not much with the people, and that someone might get hurt. "We'll make Spike do it," Angel says quickly.
Wes vaguely agrees before saying that Illyria needs a guide in our world. Angel's all "Right, but you need sleep. And also to stop punishing yourself. Because you look like a crazy person right now and also my Super Smelling Abilities can smell your excess drinking and lack of showering all over the building and it's gross."
Wes vaguely agrees before saying that Illyria needs a guide in our world. Angel's all "Right, but you need sleep. And also to stop punishing yourself. Because you look like a crazy person right now and also my Super Smelling Abilities can smell your excess drinking and lack of showering all over the building and it's gross."
Sarah wakes up in the stolen pickup truck out in the middle of nowhere. It's a really pretty shot, but Felix isn't finding this camping thing all that pretty. Sarah's wearing leather pants which seem like a really bad choice for life on the run. ETERNAL SWAMP ASS. (L: Plus, it clearly outs her as a BAD GIRL.) Sarah catches Felix up on what happened with Mrs. S and The Birdwatchers, (Sounds like a band name!) adding that it seemed like this wasn't Mrs. S's first murder. Felix decides he's really had his fill of camping when he steps in a pile of shit and Sarah laughs. Don't laugh girl, you're going to have to ride in a car with that. (L: Plus, those with eternal swamp ass can't be judgers.) Felix decides that they 100% need to get to civilization now.
Angel sits at a conference room table, anxiously tapping his fingers and rearranging his paperwork.
Kirsti: I'm already distracted because he's wearing his leather coat for the first time in aaaaaaaaaaaaages. YAY.
Lor: He calls Harmony and she tells him she's called everyone for the meeting already. Angel yells at his phone about how he's still sitting there alone, and Harm comes to talk to him in person. She gives us the expository rundown of where everyone is: Wesley is baby-sitting Illyria, Gunn is still in the hospital (as if Angel wouldn't know that) and Lorne is MIA because, and this is what it all comes down to, Fred is dead.
Kirsti: I'm already distracted because he's wearing his leather coat for the first time in aaaaaaaaaaaaages. YAY.
Lor: He calls Harmony and she tells him she's called everyone for the meeting already. Angel yells at his phone about how he's still sitting there alone, and Harm comes to talk to him in person. She gives us the expository rundown of where everyone is: Wesley is baby-sitting Illyria, Gunn is still in the hospital (as if Angel wouldn't know that) and Lorne is MIA because, and this is what it all comes down to, Fred is dead.
Jaime is pissed now that the sweet deal he set up with his father, in which Tyrion spent the rest of his days at the Wall, has crumbled. Tyrion doesn't see why he should be grateful about being exiled to a perpetual snowpocalypse for a crime he didn't even commit. (S: PLUS, WHITE WALKERS. Fuck that.) Jaime snaps that this isn't a joke. Tyrion says it is, it just isn't very funny. I think we've all felt like life's walking punchline a time or two. I mean, probably we weren't on trial for murder, but the sentiment is universal.
Hibbing, Minnesota. A middle-grade kid sits up in bed watching monster movies. He hears a noise outside and goes to the window to see his neighbour taking out the garbage. The kid watches as said neighbour hears a scrape-y noise and bends down to look under a car. Neighbour Guy gets dragged under the car, screaming. The kid pulls his curtains shut in a "Well, fuck. That's above my pay grade" way.
Cut to two state police interviewing LOL NOPE Kid [LNK] and his mother. Obviously, the deputies are, in fact, the Winchesters.
Cut to two state police interviewing LOL NOPE Kid [LNK] and his mother. Obviously, the deputies are, in fact, the Winchesters.