Today's fun time in Sunnydale begins in a funeral home where two guys are closing up, after preparing an older woman for her service the next day.
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it:
Blackwater Ridge. Lost Creek, Colorado. Something is growling outside of a tent in the middle of the woods. Three guys inside are playing video games on handheld devices, and HEY. One of them is Cory Monteith! Aw, feels.
Kirsti: Especially seeing as this was one of his few chances to play an age appropriate character. Sniff, tear, sob.
Sara: Another guy is recording a message on his phone for someone named Haley, telling her that he's fine and will talk to her tomorrow. Probably not if that growly thing has anything to say about it. Also, that's some sweet cell service!
Kirsti: Especially seeing as this was one of his few chances to play an age appropriate character. Sniff, tear, sob.
Sara: Another guy is recording a message on his phone for someone named Haley, telling her that he's fine and will talk to her tomorrow. Probably not if that growly thing has anything to say about it. Also, that's some sweet cell service!
Wallace asks Veronica what her big Friday night plans are. All she's got so far are taking Backup for a run and possibly renting a PG-13 movie. If you take away the "going for a run" part you have a good representative of most of my Friday nights. No shame, V.
Wallace isn't on board with these plans, though, and aspires to a live a life inspired by a Nelly rap video. LOL. Nelly.
Sweeney: "Step back, wild child," is a favorite phrase of mine in life. It's another one of those, "TV informs how I engage with the other humans," moments.
Wallace isn't on board with these plans, though, and aspires to a live a life inspired by a Nelly rap video. LOL. Nelly.
Sweeney: "Step back, wild child," is a favorite phrase of mine in life. It's another one of those, "TV informs how I engage with the other humans," moments.
Emily returns home after Hanna has already gone to bed, but Hanna turns the lights on. She doesn't want to talk about it. The cops asked her a lot of questions, and Maya's parents received a note, but she doesn't know much else because LOL police. Emily mostly wants Hanna to STFU and let her go to bed, which Hanna finally does.
Elsewhere, Melissa is telling Spencer that she ditched her for Garrett because he's been totes a good friend to her lately and she's sure Ian didn't really kill Ali and also, "LOOK, I WENT TO THE POLICE!" Girl, have you not gotten the memo? Talking to Rosewood PD about your issues is either the shadiest or dumbest way to solve your problems. And you're way too smart for me to assume the latter. Except she also thinks she might have shared a stupid amount of information with Garrett.
Elsewhere, Melissa is telling Spencer that she ditched her for Garrett because he's been totes a good friend to her lately and she's sure Ian didn't really kill Ali and also, "LOOK, I WENT TO THE POLICE!" Girl, have you not gotten the memo? Talking to Rosewood PD about your issues is either the shadiest or dumbest way to solve your problems. And you're way too smart for me to assume the latter. Except she also thinks she might have shared a stupid amount of information with Garrett.
I'm sure most of you are reading this post right now all, "snark-a-what now?" It's okay. Things around here happen pretty quickly and we're often starting new things when we can barely keep up with what we already have going on. (So, like, Firefly this Friday. For real.)
#Snarkathon came about thanks to some Traumateers who wanted to live Tweet The Cabin in the Woods, the 2012 Joss Whedon vehicle staring Thor, Topher, Fred, Lena's new boyfriend in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and a girl IMDB told me played the Yellow Cheetah Ranger. Take this idea, add a Google hangout and voila.
We'll touch a little more on the #snarkathon thing at the end of the post, but first, The Cabin in the Woods (#spoilerssweetie):
#Snarkathon came about thanks to some Traumateers who wanted to live Tweet The Cabin in the Woods, the 2012 Joss Whedon vehicle staring Thor, Topher, Fred, Lena's new boyfriend in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and a girl IMDB told me played the Yellow Cheetah Ranger. Take this idea, add a Google hangout and voila.
We'll touch a little more on the #snarkathon thing at the end of the post, but first, The Cabin in the Woods (#spoilerssweetie):
We open in the bad part of town. You can tell because there's a smashed up car covered in graffiti in the foreground. A dude bursts through a door and runs into the street only to be confronted by Connor. Random dude wants to know what Connor is because nothing human can move that quickly. Connor knows exactly what random dude is though - a vampire. He taunts him as they start fighting. Up on a nearby rooftop, Angel is backseat fighting, being all "No, don't do that!" and "Atta boy."
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
We open at Sunnydale Airport, where it looks weirdly like an early episode of Friends. Passengers are deplaning, and the camera pans across to show Buffy, Dawn and Xander waiting. Dawn looks pissed, Buffy looks a little anxious, and Xander is carrying a placard that says "WELCOME HOME WILLOW" in yellow crayon. Aww. (L: Super aww.) Dawn teases Xander over how many times he's told the yellow crayon story, and then announces that she's nervous about seeing Willow. Buffy agrees, and wonders what you say to someone who flayed a dude alive and then tried to end the world. Xander says that he's going to start with "Hi, Willow," and go from there. (S: Additional, "Aww.") He also says that Giles wouldn't have let her leave unless she was fully recovered. Buffy worriedly says that Giles told her Willow wasn't really ready to come back but that it was important that she did.
We find ourselves in Gills Rock, Wisconsin on October 28, 1985. There's an 80's wash on this scene. That is to say it's soft and light jean. Something like that. (S: A+)
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
he actual previouslies are in fact two full minutes of everything we said we wanted to forget happened in season 6, including the attempted rape. Some of you claimed to love this episode, so I will try not to hold that reel against it. In case you were wondering, though, yep. I still hate it.
Sweeney: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US, SHOW?
Kirsti: Not even the few seconds tacked on the end of stuff that happened in the previous episode could dull my fury.
Sweeney: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US, SHOW?
Kirsti: Not even the few seconds tacked on the end of stuff that happened in the previous episode could dull my fury.
IT'S NEW SERIES TIME! New series and a new recapper. We've wanted to add Veronica Mars to our repertoire for a while, but we also needed a Snow (and like 19 more hours in the week, but we settled for having half of our demands met). Much like our Buffy recaps we have three different experiences. I haven't marathoned any other show half as many times as I've seen this one. (Which is to say that I've seen it all-the-way-through 5 or 6 times. I really don't repeat-marathon most shows.) Lor has only seen it once, though we share the belief that the first season of this show is one of the best seasons of TV ever. (We'll see how blogging changes things.) Meanwhile, a dear friend of the blog (and also my lifeself), The Democracy Diva will be joining us as the resident Snow. Diva Snow, if you please.
What's that? You've been wanting us to cover Supernatural? You ask, we deliver. This one's going to be a little different, because Sweeney is firmly on the Nope Train as far as Supernatural is concerned, and Lor's got enough on her plate. So y'all are stuck with Sara and me instead. SORRY NOT SORRY.
Sara: SO NOT SORRY BECAUSE: CUTE BOYS AND MONSTERS.
K: Truth. I've been a salt gunner from day one, although I must admit that I took a little break somewhere around season 6 when things got really shitty. But I marathonned my way through season 6, season 7 and season 8 earlier this year, and was firmly back on board in time for season 9.
Sara: SO NOT SORRY BECAUSE: CUTE BOYS AND MONSTERS.
K: Truth. I've been a salt gunner from day one, although I must admit that I took a little break somewhere around season 6 when things got really shitty. But I marathonned my way through season 6, season 7 and season 8 earlier this year, and was firmly back on board in time for season 9.
We begin with something that is obviously some sort of dream sequence because everything is so happy and good and not broken but I don't even care, I'm fucking enjoying it. The whole Fang Gang, plus Connor, are sitting at a fancy table in the Hyperion lobby eating what appears to be Thanksgiving dinner and they're all laughing and happy and toasting to family and Wesley is there and Cordelia's hair isn't too awful and THEN THAT'S THE EPISODE! THE END! THANKS FOR COMING.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.
Because the show knows we are ready for a major change of pace from ALL THE THINGS, we decide to really get weird and kick off S7 in Istanbul because, "Why the fuck not?" also because it's the 2000s now and everyone noticed how incredibly white this show is. We see a teenage girl running through the streets of Istanbul being chased by hooded men. Unfortunately, this new PoC gets stabbed by one of the hooded men without even getting to say any words. Sorry, girl.
Kirsti: Womp womp. Also, when this episode first aired and opened in Istanbul, I was 1000% convinced that I'd gotten my days mixed up and was watching Alias instead.
Lorraine: I was convinced that we were going to start with Spike. Also, having seen this whole episode, I still don't know what this is. Being a Snow is still stupid in season 7. FYI.
Kirsti: Womp womp. Also, when this episode first aired and opened in Istanbul, I was 1000% convinced that I'd gotten my days mixed up and was watching Alias instead.
Lorraine: I was convinced that we were going to start with Spike. Also, having seen this whole episode, I still don't know what this is. Being a Snow is still stupid in season 7. FYI.
DECEMBER. It's already December. You know, we've been doing TMYK for over a year now. I just had a vague flash of writing the December 2012 TMYK so I went to check and was way surprised to discover that we actually did the first one (when we asked all of you to help us name it!) in September 2012. WEIRD. I'm sure I'll say this again when we do this again next month and add all the requisite NEW YEARS goodness, but this blog has come to occupy this strange space where I am equal parts confused by how long it's been and how it hasn't been longer because it's come to occupy such a big space in my life.
Our Pretty Liars are congregated in front of Spencer's locker at the Rosewood School for Discussing Secrets Loudly. They are discussing their secrets. Loudly. Emily wants to know how Spencer got $2000 for their informant so quickly, and she vagues about having a relative who helped.
Aria and Spencer are going to meet the informant, Jonah, at 6pm and they will meet with Hanna and Emily afterwards. Hanna wants to know why she doesn't get to go make shady money exchanges; Spencer explains that showing up four deep might freak Jonah out. Emily shouts about wanting to be there to learn the truth but Mona strides up and they have to cut their conversation short. The Liars greet Mona with a tepid, "hey," before she pulls Hanna away to chat about shopping plans
Aria and Spencer are going to meet the informant, Jonah, at 6pm and they will meet with Hanna and Emily afterwards. Hanna wants to know why she doesn't get to go make shady money exchanges; Spencer explains that showing up four deep might freak Jonah out. Emily shouts about wanting to be there to learn the truth but Mona strides up and they have to cut their conversation short. The Liars greet Mona with a tepid, "hey," before she pulls Hanna away to chat about shopping plans