62 Posts

Tag: a pedo-lationship is like a relationship but illegal

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Pretty Little Liars S04 E07 – Baby Tones

We open on Marin Manor where Spencer and Emily are doing dishes and being passive aggressive. Spencer apologizes for Toby, but says he's not ready to talk yet. Emily snaps that they need to focus on Hanna right now, which is Aria's cue to enternounce that these two talking is step 1 and getting Hanna to actually eat is step 2. Spencer suggests mozzarella sticks and I have a vague recollection of Hanna's love of mozzarella sticks being a thing in another episode, because obviously moments where the girls are being cute are vastly superior to anything vaguely resembling "plot." (L: Plus, FOOD.) The girls exposit that Hanna's being shut out of lawyer meetings and when Spencer suggests the others go home and rest, they insist that they're fine to stay because the only way to get Hanna through this is together. D'AWW. The downside of their cuteness is that there is nothing to snark when they are being adorable.
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Pretty Little Liars S04 E04 – Keeping face

  • Posted byby Marines
  • September 26, 2014
  • 5 Comments
Best Papa Fields gets home, greets Emily and quickly sends her on her way. Because every other day she has full hours for coffee and crime investigating, but on the day her dad gets home, can't be late! No time!
Sweeney: Emily, girl, reexamine all of your priorities.
Lor: Hanna and Caleb are already at school, discussing Shitbag Marin's missing gun. Caleb's all, "hey, all we know is there may have been a gun in the room when your mom got there and it was definitely gone after she left." Caleb says if Wilden was shot with a 38, Ashley is in trouble. Hanna's response is to just forget everything about murder and evidence and stuff because it's too hard.
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The OC S01 E23 – Nana is only nice when she plays by her own rules

Forewarning: I've never seen a single episode of The OC until right now. And I'm starting with Episode 23 so I'm sure it's going to make total sense. From what I understand, it's about a bunch of rich white dudes, maybe in a blended family, set in California (arguably one of my least favorite states) (S: REALLY? SADZ.), and deals with rich people problems like sex, drugs, and alcohol.
Totally like my life.
Let's do this.
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Dawson’s Creek S02 E07 – Bad ideas all round

  • Posted byby K
  • September 11, 2014
  • 18 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson wibbles about Shakespeare while watching the Elizabeth Taylor version of The Taming of the Shrew. The camera pans out to show us that his post-break up movie watching partner is Gail. LOL. Gail cries over the movie, and Dawson expresses concern over her excess of emotions. She, in return, says she's worried about his LACK of emotions over Joey breaking up with him. Because apparently wallowing in being dumped makes you a better person. Or something...
Democracy Diva: Dubious advice, but it was nice to see these two have a cute bonding moment.
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Pretty Little Liars S03 E23 – Definitely crazy.

Spencer is sitting alone in the common area at Radley when the PLLs drop by. It appears to be well past visiting hours, but Radley's just making shit up as she goes. Anyway, the PLLs dropped by to let her know that they have good news, but they have a really interesting interpretation of "good news" because that news is that the cops found a camper's body. I mean, yay for Toby, but also sucks for that camper and his family, you know?
Lorraine: Plus, they seem to have missed the part where Spencer is in there because she saw Toby's body. "Good news, your boyfriend is alive, but you are DEFINITELY crazy!" Thanks, girls! Nice way to start the episode.
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Dawson’s Creek S02 E05 – Full moon, empty brains

  • Posted byby K
  • September 4, 2014
  • 19 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. A werewolf movie plays on Dawson's TV as he talks about how romantic the full moon is. The camera pans up to show us that Dawson and Joey aren't on the bed, they're outside on the roof staring at the moon. Dawson wibbles some more about how romantic and peaceful it is, while Joey makes WTF faces and says that it's just "a natural satellite". Way to be a buzzkill, Potter. She starts talking about the full moon making people crazy and how she thinks it's because we're 70% water and the moon effects us as well as the tides. Dawson, meanwhile, is trying to swallow her head.
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The OC S01 E20 – Counting Facial Expressions

Who wants to feel old and realize that if you only watched The OC when it aired, it's been more than 10 years since you've seen this episode? No one, ok, then let's ignore that I mentioned that at all. It helps that Adam Brody looks pretty much exactly the same as he did as Seth Cohen. If time stopped for him, it must've for all of us, right? Totally.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what's happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
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Dawson’s Creek S02 E04 – Return of the statutory rape

We open with Dawson and Joey making out on a blanket, which appears to be located adjacent to a sidewalk. It's a less than ideal location for sexytimes. Joey wants to stop because it's cold, and I'm like, girl, you are not allowed to even talk about the weather on this show because it DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. (K: A+, girl.) Dawson thinks the location is beautiful and romantic but she's like, ew, bugs, and also, let's go indoors please. She calls him cheesy, but also "unbearably sexy," so I'm gonna need some brain bleach before the credits even roll. They make out, and this scene was totally unnecessary.
After the credits, Mitch and Dawson are discussing Mitch's meeting about buying a property.
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The OC S01 E19 – Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

  • Posted byby Alex
  • September 1, 2014
  • 28 Comments
It’s morning at the Cohen house. Sandy is fetching himself some juice when he gets shot in the face with a foam dart. The shooter is Kirsten, and shooting him in the face was her way of wishing him a happy Valentine’s Day. Sandy is unimpressed, not only because he just took a dart to the face before he’d even got his breakfast, but also because Valentine’s day isn’t actually until tomorrow.
Sweeney: That before breakfast is serious. Don't fucking talk to me, let alone SHOOT DARTS AT MY FACE before I've had breakfast.
Lorraine: I've never seen Kirsten this excited. Maybe about wine that one time she was drunk, but that was less excited and more, well, drunk.
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Dawson’s Creek S01 E06 – Longest. Day. Ever.

  • Posted byby K
  • July 18, 2014
  • 5 Comments
We open in Dawson's Shrine o' Spielberg. A black and white movie comes to an end on the TV, and Joey's all "Cool, BYE." She claims it's because her sister's baby is due like NOW and she needs to help out. Dawson whines that they never watch just one movie on movie night, and she replies that there's a first time for everything. Like, for instance, Third Wheel Jen being there. Poor Jen - the actual girlfriend - looks hella awkward and is perched on a chair next to the bed, further proving that Dawson Leery is a douchebag. DUDE. Make some room on the bed for her. <br: Democracy Diva: I am so glad the seating arrangements bothered you as much as they bothered me. If any two people are sharing the bed, shouldn't it be the people actually dating?
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Dawson’s Creek S01 E04 – Secret sexy times

  • Posted byby K
  • July 11, 2014
  • 16 Comments
We open in Dawson's Shrine o' Spielberg. He's watching his footage back (read: creepily talking about how perfect Jen is) while Joey sasses about how Jen's future is sooooooooo predictable - she'll go to a small liberal arts college, major in art history, move back to Manhattan, marry a stockbroker, move to the suburbs and raise neurotically perfect children. Dawson changes the subject to what he should get his parents for their wedding anniversary, and um, NOTHING??? Unless buying your parents an anniversary present is a thing in America and I'm not aware of it?!
Democracy Diva: Yeah, definitely have never done that. I think maybe I gave them a card when we had a big dinner for their 30th anniversary, but in general, this is not a thing in my circles.
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Dawson’s Creek S01 E03 – Creeptown USA

The episode begins with Dawson and Joey watching an old movie starring Deborah Kerr about people making out on the beach uber-passionately. Did this show make it clear that Dawson loves movies? Because you guys, DAWSON LOVES MOVIES. And obsessing over what his first kiss with Jen should be like.
Kirsti: OMG, REALLY? Shit. I had no idea. They should have made that more obvious.
Diva: Joey mostly thinks he should shut up and, in the immortal words of Sebastian the Crab, kiss de girl, but Dawson thinks this perfect, life-altering moment needs to be storyboarded, because he's a bit of a nut job.
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Dawson’s Creek S01 E02 – Dude, no.

  • Posted byby K
  • July 4, 2014
  • 27 Comments
Remember that time like two years ago that Lor and Sweeney covered a bunch of pilot episodes and one of them was Dawson's Creek? SURPRISE! We're going to cover the rest of it. I was a Dawson's Creek fan from basically the minute it aired in Australia, although I stopped watching sometime around the point where they all went off to college because it was the contrivance-iest contrivance ever that they would all end up in Boston. But whatever. I revisited the series a couple of years ago, and re-established the fact that I will always and forever be on Team Pacey.
Democracy Diva: I wasn't particularly interested in Dawson's Creek when it was new, but I developed a mid-aughts interest in it and have seen the first few seasons.
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Veronica Mars S01 E15 – WILLOW!!!

We begin at Neptune High, where a "Total Eclipse of the Heart" banner is hung up to notify us that there's a dance a-coming. (L: Another one!) Veronica and Logan are discussing Lisa Rinna's credit card statement - she used her maiden name for this card. And rented a red Benz convertible, which I think is the same car she allegedly crashed on the bridge. Maybe get a yellow one next time, just to go a little more incognito? Anyway, Logan sincerely thanks Veronica for helping him.
Duncan is helping plan the 80s dance and wants to know if anyone has asked Veronica to the dance; she snarks that she's just waiting by the phone for that special boy to call.
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Veronica Mars S01 E14 – Sexual harassment chess

  • Posted byby Marines
  • May 21, 2014
  • 47 Comments
The previouslies, the last five seconds of the last episode and the beginning of this episode bleed together, so that Veronica opens the door to find Logan, he asks her to find his mother, and then Veronica, with some genuine concern in her voice invites him into the Plush Poor People Apartment.
Democracy Diva: I like this show's habit of picking up from where we left off when the episodes end on particularly cliffhanger-y notes.
Lor: Inside, Logan insists that his mother isn't dead, and can't understand why everyone is assuming she is, since there is no body. Veronica asks about the lady who's all over the news, claiming to have seen Lisa Rinna jump.