Stephanie: We start the episode 3 months ago. A group of scared dolls are being ushered into their sleeping pods. They didn’t get to shower before bed, so clearly this is a serious situation.
Lorraine: Who knows what those dolls were doing earlier too. Serious and possibly smelly.
Stephanie: Out in the lobby area, Dominic is yelling orders to his SWAT looking security team. He tells them to secure the exits and shoot people in the head twice. (L: Double tap? ZOMBIES.) As the camera spins around all crazy-like, we see that there are dead bodies strewn out on the floor.
First thing's first: Sweeney and I knew we wanted to do this quite a while ago. All the usual things stopped us from getting to it right, right away: time, naps, time, trying to pay our bills with real people money, adulthood and time. When we met up in Paris in August, we discussed this project (amongst many others) and quickly decided that the best way to make it a reality was to invite another person to blog with us.
We've announced this before, but please officially welcome our newest Snark Lady, Stephanie!
Stephanie: Hello, friends!
Lor: Stephanie and I have seen the show before (though I think I quit before the end, as I do, and have definitely never rewatched). Sweeney is our resident Snow.
We've announced this before, but please officially welcome our newest Snark Lady, Stephanie!
Stephanie: Hello, friends!
Lor: Stephanie and I have seen the show before (though I think I quit before the end, as I do, and have definitely never rewatched). Sweeney is our resident Snow.
Improbable bonfire. We cut immediately to Asher, so the improbable bonfire was just to (a) - establish that we are in the future and (b) - keep the bonfire episode opener going on forever. Asher is in his Twlight-movie-blue-filtered apartment dancing around, throwing money, drinking, gyrating, and generally being a lot more carefree than his Dumbledore's Army counterparts in this uncertain future. He's mid-thrusting on the couch when he gets a phone call from someone named Alicia. He wants to go to the bonfire because he has the Murder Weapon Trophy and doesn't have to study. Except he just realizes that Murder Weapon Trophy is gone.
Detective Tanner is preparing her coffee as she says that Hanna won't tell her anything about the gun she was apparently burying on a college campus. Tanner offers Hanna some coffee, and quips that she doesn't need a lawyer to answer that question. This is Rosewood, though, so you never know. Hanna turns down the offer. Tanner switches tactics and tells Hanna what she knows: Han was carrying a concealed weapon without a license, the gun is a .38 caliber revolver that holds six bullets, but only had four. Hanna could be looking at up to a seven-year-charge for just having the gun. Tanner asks Hanna to reconsider who she is protecting.
Sweeney: In Hanna's defense, I think there is literally nobody in Rosewood who actually remembers why they're doing anything at this point.
Sweeney: In Hanna's defense, I think there is literally nobody in Rosewood who actually remembers why they're doing anything at this point.
Prue and Phoebe are shopping when the shop owner tells them she wants to close up. Prue thought the shop was open until 1am, and usually it is, but not on the eve of Friday the 13th. Dawson Leery might be around the corner, waiting to scare you because he likes you. Prue tries to rush Phoebe along as the shop owner looks nervously at the clock. Phoebe quickly decides on a good luck charm.
At the register, Phoebe asks Prue to pay for her charm. The shop owner asks them to sign up for her mailing list and tells them about a Wicca gathering for the spring equinox. Prue says they never said they were witches and the shop owner gives them excellent, "bitch, please." eyes.
At the register, Phoebe asks Prue to pay for her charm. The shop owner asks them to sign up for her mailing list and tells them about a Wicca gathering for the spring equinox. Prue says they never said they were witches and the shop owner gives them excellent, "bitch, please." eyes.
Wallace heads inside, not too long after Stalker Cop approached him with the whole, "I am your father," deal. Wallace is clearly distraught. Alicia is happily serving dinner and her first clue that something is wrong is that Wallace says he isn't hungry. He just met a man in the driveway. A man from Chicago. He angrily asks who they buried in Cleveland and who he cried over for so many days. Alicia says that was his father but Wallace doesn't get how having two fathers works out. Wallace storms away but Alicia follows.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.