Previously: Takeshi Kovacs was brought back to life to solve a murder. — Fallen Angel Marines: Hey, we open looking up from a body of water again. Kovacs’ Voice Over [KVO]...
So we pick up with Hardin choosing Dare and then staring at Tessa in a way that makes her think she’s the one who has been dared to do something. Which is just untrue, so Hardin’s gaze must have some sort of drug that makes you confuse actual facts.
Marines: ROOFIE GAZE!
Marines: ROOFIE GAZE!
Apartment somewhere. The Liars are impatiently waiting on something. Behind them, Noel Kahn says he'll be right back. Apparently, he's the "what are you doing here? DRAMATIC CUT TO BLACK" from last episode. (J: terrible pay off.) When he leaves, the Liars wonder at the smartness of following Noel Kahn and further wonder why Alison would trust him. They don't hear the Foley guys given them an extra loud door opening sound, so they all jump up when Alison answers, "because he has secrets too."
We open in Havana, Cuba. Funnily enough, it looks a lot like Neptune, except with horses. Duncan is spending some time there to grow an ugly beard hide out for awhile.
Lorraine: That beard definitely looks like it's trying too hard.
Diva: Keith has managed to track him down, while wearing a hat that makes me fully unable to take him seriously. Duncan wants to know if Keith also thinks he's a murderer. He tells Duncan that he doesn't know who killed Lilly, but he knows it wasn't Abel Koontz. Duncan is all, yeah, but it also wasn't ME, so let me grow my chin-pubes in peace
Lorraine: That beard definitely looks like it's trying too hard.
Diva: Keith has managed to track him down, while wearing a hat that makes me fully unable to take him seriously. Duncan wants to know if Keith also thinks he's a murderer. He tells Duncan that he doesn't know who killed Lilly, but he knows it wasn't Abel Koontz. Duncan is all, yeah, but it also wasn't ME, so let me grow my chin-pubes in peace
Neptune High Parking Lot. Veronica's car has stopped and lots of people are honking at her and generally being shit waffles because they SEE Veronica is having issues, so why honk? Logan and his Brogans are casually passing by, in "making jokes about poor people" distance. Logan is carving up an apple and Veronica grabs his knife all while brushing off their subpar insults.
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
After the horror of THE LATEST BAD THING, the girls sit around Montgomery Manse drinking tea and brooding with Aria. Hanna breezes in like a breath of fresh air, with her bubbly personality and bag of sick coping trashy pop culture, which is how Snark Ladies deal too.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
At Alison's They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab & I Went Facility, she and Vic the Dick are doing an arts and crafts project - place settings for Family Day. Alison explains that her friend Aynsley thought she was better than her and, as such, deserved what she got. She hesitates, but after pressing from Vic, Alison confesses to sleeping with Aynsley's husband aaaaaand kind-of-sort-of killing her.
Ali reflects on Ainsley clawing at the countertop and then takes a deep breath and tells Vic how great it feels to say it out loud. Vic's, "Well, shit," face is one I share. Also, Alison made him some gloves and if he knows what's good for him, he'll be damned excited about them.
Ali reflects on Ainsley clawing at the countertop and then takes a deep breath and tells Vic how great it feels to say it out loud. Vic's, "Well, shit," face is one I share. Also, Alison made him some gloves and if he knows what's good for him, he'll be damned excited about them.
Sarah wakes up in the stolen pickup truck out in the middle of nowhere. It's a really pretty shot, but Felix isn't finding this camping thing all that pretty. Sarah's wearing leather pants which seem like a really bad choice for life on the run. ETERNAL SWAMP ASS. (L: Plus, it clearly outs her as a BAD GIRL.) Sarah catches Felix up on what happened with Mrs. S and The Birdwatchers, (Sounds like a band name!) adding that it seemed like this wasn't Mrs. S's first murder. Felix decides he's really had his fill of camping when he steps in a pile of shit and Sarah laughs. Don't laugh girl, you're going to have to ride in a car with that. (L: Plus, those with eternal swamp ass can't be judgers.) Felix decides that they 100% need to get to civilization now.
We start off in the asylum on a stormy night with Mona doing some creepy singing about teddy bears having their picnic today. (Pretty singing, though! Do we have a pretty+creepy word in our creepcabulary? It could often be used to describe Mona.) She's painting a head. (YVONNE LEHEAD?) She draws a big red blob on the lips which are magically perfectly painted a hot second later. Continuity is for people with no imagination. Mona monologues about how she gets to do an art project for Halloween, even though they're not big on Halloween around those parts. She turns around and we see that she's talking to a hooded member of the A-Team (Toby?) as she continues about how much she loves Halloween. (You're making this awkward for me, Mona, because I also love the shit out of Halloween.)
We open with a pretty hilarious "Welcome to Wolfram & Hart" recruitment video. The guy giving the voiceover is infomercial peppy, and it's intercut with shots of Angel looking awkward and stating their new employee policy: "If you don't kill us, we won't kill you." That throws us into an alarm clock going off. (S: WEIRD. My version misses that peppy video, starting at the alarm clock, and now I'm sad.) (K: Womp womp...)
Harmony turns it off and throws us into a montage of her getting ready for the day. This includes her looking at her not-reflection and vamping out to brush her fangs as well as her teeth. I stop to wonder how the hell she does her make up when she can't see her reflection... (S: Mind. Blown.)
Harmony turns it off and throws us into a montage of her getting ready for the day. This includes her looking at her not-reflection and vamping out to brush her fangs as well as her teeth. I stop to wonder how the hell she does her make up when she can't see her reflection... (S: Mind. Blown.)
Kirsti: We start literally where we left off, with Angelus biting Faith's neck. Suddenly, he stops and drops her, scurrying backwards. "What...did you do?" he asks. Flashback to a few minutes earlier. While Angelus was taunting Wes, Faith grabbed a syringe from her boot and injected something into her arm before re-entering the fight. Back in the present, Angelus staggers around briefly before passing out. Wes asks Faith if she's okay. "Kicked his ass," she slurs before blacking out. Electric cellos.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
IT'S NEW SERIES TIME! New series and a new recapper. We've wanted to add Veronica Mars to our repertoire for a while, but we also needed a Snow (and like 19 more hours in the week, but we settled for having half of our demands met). Much like our Buffy recaps we have three different experiences. I haven't marathoned any other show half as many times as I've seen this one. (Which is to say that I've seen it all-the-way-through 5 or 6 times. I really don't repeat-marathon most shows.) Lor has only seen it once, though we share the belief that the first season of this show is one of the best seasons of TV ever. (We'll see how blogging changes things.) Meanwhile, a dear friend of the blog (and also my lifeself), The Democracy Diva will be joining us as the resident Snow. Diva Snow, if you please.
Lorraine: Today's episode starts with a flash!bang and a series of fast moving shots through LA. It managed to scare the shit out of me and threatened to give me a seizure. Thanks, show!
Sweeney: This show definitely needs to come with an epilepsy warning of some sort.
K: A+. Like, seriously.
Sweeney: This show definitely needs to come with an epilepsy warning of some sort.
K: A+. Like, seriously.
We start with tight shots of Angel's and Wesley's faces alternatively. Denisof really is a handsome man. Boreanaz truly has a prominent brow. The suspenseful music flares up as they realize all the exits are are blocked and they would be spotted right away. Just as Angel suggests shouting fire, we widen the shot to see they are watching Cordelia in a play. Wesley checks his watch: one hour left. Angel: I thought I knew eternity.
K: Punny Angel is punny.
Lor: Roll electric credits.
K: Punny Angel is punny.
Lor: Roll electric credits.
We open up in a barn with four obnoxiously gorgeous girls and 3oh!3's "Don't Trust the Girl" playing in the background, which is a pretty suitable song choice. When the power goes out, the sleepover party gets a little freaked, especially when they hear a noise outside. They get up to go Nancy Drew the situation when the door creaks open, and OH FUCK! ....Wait, no, it's just a fifth gorgeous girl, Alison. If only one of the Pretty Little Liars had hit her with a bat or something, right? Then I guess we'd just be watching Pretty Little Girls Who Are Kind of Boring and Don't Do Much and Nothing Murdery Ever Happens, and that title doesn't have the same ring to it.