A siren wails in the distance as a man walks in slow motion through a crowded street. Time catches up and the man pushes his way through the crowd. He pauses for a moment in shock when he sees his son on the floor. He kneels at Matty's side and tells him not to move. He yells for help and then takes a moment to gauge the chaos around him. Whatever accident happened, it involved a car, barrels of something shady and multiple pedestrians.
The TARDIS materializes and the Doctor announces they are in Cardiff. Martha is like, "CARDIFF?" so he has to explain that Cardiff is built on a rift in time and space. He stops here every now and then to refuel. The Doctor says it should only take 20 seconds, but also notes that the rift has been active.
We cut outside. Someone is running toward the TARDIS, but we don't quite see his face. Some of you may notice that the Torchwood theme is playing. I didn't notice but I always watch with closed captioning, so.
We cut outside. Someone is running toward the TARDIS, but we don't quite see his face. Some of you may notice that the Torchwood theme is playing. I didn't notice but I always watch with closed captioning, so.
We start in nature with two guys who clearly want to be bear-mauled. By that I mostly mean that they are in nature and seeking out a particular cave. Their faces are really dirty and I don't know why. I guess they rolled most of the way here? Hesitant Dirty Face thinks the cave looks small for a mine shaft, but Stupid Dirty Face is all, "s'whatever. Let's go in."
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
The girls are trying to sneak back into school after leaving midday to try and see Jenna. They were turned away, and Hanna laments not breaking out their candy striper outfits again. Spencer is pretty sure their teacher noticed them all missing but on they sneak. And by "sneak" I mean walk at a leisurely pace and exposit loudly in the halls about figuring out who drowned Jenna.
Emily gets a text message.
Emily, girl, you need to get your priorities in order.
Emily gets a text message.
Emily, girl, you need to get your priorities in order.
Mona, in her quest to make amends for her history of stalking and life-ruining, is in her interrogation, confessing to Wilden's murder. She says that she had known about Wilden's murder of Garrett, a fact that she claims she was trying to use to blackmail him into leaving our Pretty Little Liars out of his Ali-vestigation. Wilden got violent once he know that Mona knew about his murdering Garrett. When asked why she's confessing when she could have gotten away with it, Mona cries and says she couldn't let her best friend's mother go down for a murder she didn't commit.
Marines: As soon as the detective leaves, she stops crying and puts on a, "mwahahaha" face. I hope this isn't being recorded.
Marines: As soon as the detective leaves, she stops crying and puts on a, "mwahahaha" face. I hope this isn't being recorded.
Best Papa Fields gets home, greets Emily and quickly sends her on her way. Because every other day she has full hours for coffee and crime investigating, but on the day her dad gets home, can't be late! No time!
Sweeney: Emily, girl, reexamine all of your priorities.
Lor: Hanna and Caleb are already at school, discussing Shitbag Marin's missing gun. Caleb's all, "hey, all we know is there may have been a gun in the room when your mom got there and it was definitely gone after she left." Caleb says if Wilden was shot with a 38, Ashley is in trouble. Hanna's response is to just forget everything about murder and evidence and stuff because it's too hard.
Sweeney: Emily, girl, reexamine all of your priorities.
Lor: Hanna and Caleb are already at school, discussing Shitbag Marin's missing gun. Caleb's all, "hey, all we know is there may have been a gun in the room when your mom got there and it was definitely gone after she left." Caleb says if Wilden was shot with a 38, Ashley is in trouble. Hanna's response is to just forget everything about murder and evidence and stuff because it's too hard.
This episode begins shortly after the last, with Emily arriving to hear Spencer's big secret. Hanna's not answering her calls, so Spencer has to confess without her: Toby is A.
Marin Manor. Ashley and Hanna return and Ashley wants to call the hospital and the cops, which would have been good ideas a while ago, before she went to get her child to help her with her crime. Hanna explains that now that she's left the scene of an accident and all, she should just not call the cops. Ashley continues to let her child be the grown up and agrees, but only so long as Hanna promises not to tell her friends about this.
Marin Manor. Ashley and Hanna return and Ashley wants to call the hospital and the cops, which would have been good ideas a while ago, before she went to get her child to help her with her crime. Hanna explains that now that she's left the scene of an accident and all, she should just not call the cops. Ashley continues to let her child be the grown up and agrees, but only so long as Hanna promises not to tell her friends about this.
We're at some sort of crime or accident scene, and watch as paramedics wheel a gurney into the back of ambulances. A crowd has gathered, and our fabulous and fashionable fibbers are there as well. Hanna is bawling as Aria and Spencer hold her up. A little ways away, Gossip Cop (at least I think it is. I may just be calling every cop who isn't Wilden Gossip Cop) (S: None of them do a whole lot of law officering, so probably accurate.) asks Emily if the deceased was their friend. Emily doesn't answer, and it's probably because Hanna's really loud gasp-crying is super distracting.
Sara: For real though, Hanna, tone it down. Shit.
Sara: For real though, Hanna, tone it down. Shit.
Hanna and Spencer are in the former's room as she tries on outfits and complains that nothing covers the bandage on her leg from her gigantic improbable stab wound. There's always... pants?
Lorraine: MIND BLOWN. The Improbable Wound is mid-thigh. I'm not sure she should be having this much difficulty finding something to cover it.
Sweeney: You live in Pennsylvania. There's no way that you don't own clothing that will cover past mid-thigh. Winter is coming, girl. (Eventually. One day. Maybe.)
Lorraine: MIND BLOWN. The Improbable Wound is mid-thigh. I'm not sure she should be having this much difficulty finding something to cover it.
Sweeney: You live in Pennsylvania. There's no way that you don't own clothing that will cover past mid-thigh. Winter is coming, girl. (Eventually. One day. Maybe.)
The previouslies suggest that Gwen is coming back, so I'm trying to keep that in mind as I watch this scene in which Cordevilia comes clean about her pregnancy in the Maternity Outfit of Evil and the gang is totally oblivious to her Bad Girl Styling. I know there's no leather, but this is like the fashion equivalent of the Big Book of Villain Gloating. I CAN'T EVEN. WAKE UP, FANG GANG. They're too busy fussing about how quickly she's developed, though Wesley is quick to point out that this isn't Cordelia's first mystical pregnancy rodeo and she came to term the same night on her last go-round. Cordevila takes offense to that comparison because she loves this baby. To be fair, Cordelia loved her hellspawn during pregnancy the last time around too. Connor's reassuring stance by her side doesn't do the NOT A HELLSPAWN! argument any favors.
New York City in 1977. We follow the pouring rain down to the street where Spike and Nikki are fighting and exchanging quips. Behind a nearby bench, baby!Wood watches the fight. Spike has Nikki in a headlock, and baby!Wood startles and knocks over a trashcan. Spike is distracted enough that Nikki is able to break out and continue the fight. She pulls out a stake and throws it at Spike, but he catches it mid-air and says he's spent a long time tracking Nikki down, and he doesn't want the fight to end so quickly. With one last compliment to her coat, he takes off.
Baby!Wood calls out to his mom. She tells him he did a great job staying low, just like she asked. I call bullshit on Spike not smelling/hearing/seeing the kid, but okay. Good job, baby!Wood.
Baby!Wood calls out to his mom. She tells him he did a great job staying low, just like she asked. I call bullshit on Spike not smelling/hearing/seeing the kid, but okay. Good job, baby!Wood.
We start the episode immediately after the last, with Angel "checking up on the baby," but really running away from the Groo and Cordy show. Angel says that he remembers Groo being taller. Lorne gamely plays along and says that once Cordy gets him home, she'll just pop Groo in a drawer. Angel focuses on the "take him home," part and says it's a good thing, because that means Groo won't be using the Brooding Hotel as a hotel.
Lorne asks Angel if he's okay with Cordy taking Groo home, and Angel says he totally is. Lorne sniffs Angel's jacket and asks why Cordelia's perfume is all over it then. Angel says that magic (actual magic and not like feelings magic) brought them together, but that clearly it didn't mean anything
Lorne asks Angel if he's okay with Cordy taking Groo home, and Angel says he totally is. Lorne sniffs Angel's jacket and asks why Cordelia's perfume is all over it then. Angel says that magic (actual magic and not like feelings magic) brought them together, but that clearly it didn't mean anything
Buffy is packing up a Slayer Bag-o-Tricks as she fills us in by way of conversation with Dawn that she's running out mid-dinner to go track down some non-vampire beastie. Dawn is gamely saying everything is fine, but her tight smile and stiff body language say otherwise. Dawn says that perhaps they can set-up for Buffy's birthday trauma party the next day when she gets back, but B tells her not to wait up.I wonder how she got word of this baddie, mid-dinner. Bat signal? Also, no, I do not like this flippy hair thing.
Kirsti: Me neither. I was on board with it when she cut it short, but now it just keeps getting more and more flippy, and I think we need to hold an intervention... Also, BRB, HAVING DAWN FEELS.
Kirsti: Me neither. I was on board with it when she cut it short, but now it just keeps getting more and more flippy, and I think we need to hold an intervention... Also, BRB, HAVING DAWN FEELS.
Another instant round of the Feelsy Soundtrack starts us off this episode, as Angel broods around the empty and dark Brooding Hotel. Someone get this man a puppy.
K: Except that not, on account of Angelus likes to play with puppies a little too much...
Lor: Someone get this man a Tamagatchi.
We head over to the Fangless Gang headquarters, where things are decidedly less soul crushing, but also, business is slow.
K: Except that not, on account of Angelus likes to play with puppies a little too much...
Lor: Someone get this man a Tamagatchi.
We head over to the Fangless Gang headquarters, where things are decidedly less soul crushing, but also, business is slow.
Previously: Buffy learns some deep truths about honesty, growing up and how you should probably avoid Twihards at all costs. — The Dark Age Lorraine: It’s night, as it often...