Previously: DD got fucked up. — Nelson v. Murdoch Marines: Matt comes to on his own couch, and I know we just called the last recap “grimacing bloodily” but YEP. Watch...
New two-parter = new credits! NPH sings, "the lumber mill is where the Baudelaires are forced to work, the eye doctor is sinister, the owner is a jerk, they end up in a fiendish plot with logs and hypnotism, the very thought of watching should be met with skepticism."
Look away, look away, etc.
New dedication to Beatrice: my love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.
Look away, look away, etc.
New dedication to Beatrice: my love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.
After a recap of what happened last time, we jump straight into the credits. Farewell, Russell T Davies era credits and title screen. I love you forever. (M: I'm glad the farewell tour is starting so early!)
DOO WEE OOO!
DOO WEE OOO!
We open in space. We zoom past the Moon to Earth. A narrator tells us that in the last days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. Except that everyone forgot because people are dumb. Well, one person remembered. We zoom in on Wilf(!!!!!!), watching happily as a Salvation Army band plays Christmas carols. He hears a maniacal laugh in his head, and shakes himself.
Prue is in the kitchen trying to telekinesis a fork off the counter. We hear the tinkle that usually follows her powers, but the fork won't move. Phoebe walks in having some kind of a fashion meltdown, but since her Pocahontas-inspired handkerchief top is no worse than 99% of what she's always wearing, IDK what the emergency is. When Phoebe realizes that Prue can't move the fork, she worriedly asks if Prue's lost her powers. Prue says you can't lose what you never had and disappears.
Future, at an unidentified Asian locale. (K: Hooray! Not!White places are always exciting to me.) Donna and the Doctor are walking through a market and generally being so damn happy and adorable that it hurts me. We know that the Doctor has all of these adventures with his companions and we, as the audience, seem to stop in on them when things go wrong. They reference, though, and there is this sense that there are other, generally "normal" adventures. I know everything is about to go to shit in one moment, but this brief moment of pure travel adventure gave me feelings.
There is only one way to describe how I feel sitting down to rewatch and recap this episode.
Marines: A+. 1430.
Diva: Let's do this before I lose my nerve and melt into a puddle of feels.
After some uneventful previouslies/credits, Sansa is sewing and someone delivers her a letter. It has the mockingbird seal on it, so you know it's fromKatniss Littlefinger. She reads the letter and asks how far they are from Mole's Town, the village near Castle Black renowned for its whorehouses.
Marines: A+. 1430.
Diva: Let's do this before I lose my nerve and melt into a puddle of feels.
After some uneventful previouslies/credits, Sansa is sewing and someone delivers her a letter. It has the mockingbird seal on it, so you know it's from
We get another extensive previously section and it reminds us that Littlefinger exists. I think they are going to whip out one "remember them??" character per episode.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion.
Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn't know what anyone was doing.
The credits take us to King's Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.
I'm so scared.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
Granted, this rating is happening from fuzzy memory, but I feel good about giving it anyway:
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.
Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.
For reasons I cannot articulate, the will to write this recap has evaded me this week. That's my way of saying, "I'm sorry this is late and I have zero good excuses prepped for why it's so late."
Lorraine: I disagree, dearest friend. The reason The Mountain and the Viper is late is because it's The Mountain and The Viper. There. Done.
Sweeney: I stand corrected.
My old nemesis, the lying liar credits, kick us off: King's Landing. Moat Cailin! That's new, yeah? Sadly, it's because Ramsay is in this episode, but we'll concentrate on WOO NEW PLACE! for now.
Lorraine: I disagree, dearest friend. The reason The Mountain and the Viper is late is because it's The Mountain and The Viper. There. Done.
Sweeney: I stand corrected.
My old nemesis, the lying liar credits, kick us off: King's Landing. Moat Cailin! That's new, yeah? Sadly, it's because Ramsay is in this episode, but we'll concentrate on WOO NEW PLACE! for now.
It is no secret that we have a lot of thoughts/feels on all things popular culture. There are only so many hours in a day and so we simply cannot recap everything, placing some constraints on what we can dissect here. Having said that, I came across something the other that gave me so many feelings that I needed to sit down and work them out somewhere. I probably should have done it THAT DAY, because such is the relevance and shelf life of these things but, as always...we do what we want.
Variety posted, “Diversity Done Wrong: How SNL Mishandled Casting a Black Woman.” For those of you who are unaware, SNL received a great deal of criticism in the fall when it introduced half a dozen new featured players, nearly all of whom were white men.
Variety posted, “Diversity Done Wrong: How SNL Mishandled Casting a Black Woman.” For those of you who are unaware, SNL received a great deal of criticism in the fall when it introduced half a dozen new featured players, nearly all of whom were white men.
I actually just finished watching Seeing Red about 20 minutes ago. After unloading all of my WHY TARA WHY feelings on Twitter (and the last post), I decided to just finish off my emotions and watch this episode too. The point of all this is just to warn you that I wrote this while my emotions were freshly Whedon-ed. Also, WHY TARA WHY? An ambulance arrives at 1630 Revello.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
I grew anxious about recapping this episode months ago. I hadn't even anticipated how much drama would ensue in Traumaland before we reached this point. I was a little blindsided by that, to be honest. The bright side is that it actually makes this recap a little less scary for me. The stage has been well set, and many an argument has already been had much earlier than I expected. This, of course, isn't going to make this episode any more enjoyable to watch. But that's what we're going to do, so let's get to it.
Kirsti: I'm pretty sure that back in January when Sweeney and I hung out in LA for like four hours, one of the first things I said (besides "OMG, In n Out needs to come to Australia because this shake is magical") was "I'm scared of Seeing Red." So yeah.
Kirsti: I'm pretty sure that back in January when Sweeney and I hung out in LA for like four hours, one of the first things I said (besides "OMG, In n Out needs to come to Australia because this shake is magical") was "I'm scared of Seeing Red." So yeah.
K: We open in an alley. A bag drops into frame, followed by a man. He starts to walk away, but there's a short blonde woman standing the shadows. He runs, and she chases him down, eventually delivering a spectacular fly kick when he tries to get in a car. The camera pans out, and the woman is Kate. She roughs him up a little and then arrests him. Cut to the police station. Kate's trying to get Crook Man to spill the beans on where a certain Mob boss type is, but he's not spilling. Eventually she snaps and pins him against the wall with an arm across his throat.
S: A commenter pointed out that Kate is sort of a Buffy-like placeholder.
S: A commenter pointed out that Kate is sort of a Buffy-like placeholder.