Tag: bella swan is the actual worst

Twilight Chapter 04 – Premonitions of RAGE

Continuing on from yesterday's total lack of a cliffhanger, Bella tells us all about her Edward dream. In it, "what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin." Because he glows as well as sparkling, apparently. Oh. Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, Dream!Edward continually walks away from Bella no matter what she does. LOL.
Marines: I'm going to go ahead and call a red flag on dreams of your crush glowing in the dark and running away from you. Also WHAT THE CHEATERY, SKIN-GLOWING NARRATION HELL? Is Bella a prophet? Please just tell this Snow if the answer is yes so I can stop asking HOW SHE KNOWS SO MUCH. 

Twilight Chapter 03 – Edward Cullen: Mushroom

Bella is sad again. I know you're shocked.
This time it's because she starts the chapter by waking up to fresh snowfall. As someone who hates snow myself, I can't really blame her for this. But, ya know... I'm going to.
But worse than the snow is that apparently all of the rain from the day before has frozen solid and now everything is icy. Bella's first thought is, of course, about how she's going to manage to walk on all this ice since she has so much trouble walking in general. What must it be like to be so clumsy that your first thought is always whether or not you're going to survive a walk to your driveway?

Twilight Chapter 02 – She’s the worst.

The chapter opens with the line "The next day was better... and worse," and I'm already pissed off.
The day was better for Bella because it wasn't raining yet and she knew what to expect on her second day of school, but worse, because she was tired. Bella complains about the rain, the people she has to attend school with, but she internal-monologues about how she is starting to remember some of her fellow students' names. This is the short list of complaints explaining how her day was better. Girl. Just. Lighten up.
Catherine: Honestly, she should just be glad that any of her 'fellow students' are willing to be friends with her. It's a sacrifice. 

Eclipse Chapter 09 – Breaking and Organizing

Alice drops Bella off at her house the next day, since they are still pretending that they were having a sleep over to hide the fact that Bella's half kidnapped, half not getting any. When Bella gets inside, Charlie right away lets her know that she's got a message. Jacob called to say he was sorry and Charlie adds to give him a break because he sounded upset. He doesn't add, "anything is better than Edward," but it's implied.

Eclipse Chapter 08 – Baby Love

Bella and Jacob end up on the beach again, and he asks if she thinks the Cullens will come get her. She says they won't, but that they'll be hella pissed when she goes back. He suggests not going back, and her only response is that Charlie would love that because he's biased towards "my Quileute friends". Uh. You mean Jacob? The rest tolerate you because of him, girl.
Annie: Actually, Charlie is biased towards anyone who isn't the controlling, abusive, blood-thirsty boyfriend, but you tell yourself whatever makes you happier to stay in that relationship, Bells.

New Moon Epilogue – This is not an epilogue.

We made it!
Yeah, we fell pretty off pace there toward the end. I feel like we were way more prepared the first time around, probably because we were bright eyed and bushy tailed, even if we expected the books to be bad.
Annie: And because it had been so long since we'd read these books, we'd forgotten how absolutely awful they were! Like, really, really awful. Way, way worse than I'd remembered.
Catherine: Reliving it ten years later is somehow way worse, guys. 

New Moon Chapter 03 – Break-Up Coma

Gosh, I just can't seem to remember if anything important or significant happens in this chapter.
Annie: Does anything important or significant ever happen in SMeyer's books until she remembers that they should have a plot in Chapter 22? My prediction is no.
Catherine: I guess we'll have to read on and see.