Almost five years ago, our baby website decided to expand from its usual fare (the terrible books we read as children) to cover a TV show. At the insistence of my friends, I'd watched the pilot episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer even before the founding of the blog. In fact, "Childhood Trauma" was the first name of this blog, thanks to the classic line in the pilot. When it came time to pick a show to cover here, it seemed natural to start with Buffy.
I first suggested that we cover the original Buffy movie way back in August 2012, not long after we started covering Buffy. Somehow, it ended up as a "this would be a good way to finish things" idea, and then with the birth of #snarkathon in December it became a "watch it alone-together with the Traumateers" thing. Aww.
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Inside the Summers' home, it's somewhat clear that whatever happened at the end of the last episode, it wasn't well thought out. All the Potentials, Giles, Willow, Faith, Xander, Anya and Principal Wood are having a disorganized discussion about how to have organized discussions. Kennedy is pretty much just excited about having more of a say.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
We open in the living room at Chez Summers. Willow is filling Xander and Anya in on the Trio. There's another, "who the fuck is Andrew?" line before Xander asks if they should go over and beat up the Trio given that they know where they live and all. Willow informs him that Buffy already tried, but that the Trio had cleared out of the basement. They left a bunch of stuff behind though, and Buffy pilfered some of it.
Willow fangirls for a moment over the idea of spellbooks and charmed objects before Xander gives her a look. Anya, meanwhile, wants to know where Buffy is because she's going to be late for her first day.
Willow fangirls for a moment over the idea of spellbooks and charmed objects before Xander gives her a look. Anya, meanwhile, wants to know where Buffy is because she's going to be late for her first day.
We start immediately after the conclusion of Bargaining. The Scoobies head out of the alley where they killed the Lame-o Biker Demon, with Willow saying that Buffy has to be back at Chez Summers. Xander claims to know a shortcut through the alleys, but Anya's less than convinced about how safe it is on account of half the town being on fire. Just as Xander's in the middle of a speech about how he's got wikkid skillz, a bunch of Lame-o Bikers appear behind them and blaze past on their way out of town, causing Xander to mildly wet his pants. Contrivancely, the Lame-o Bikers are all spontaneously aware that their leader is dead and are running for the hills. Okay, show. Whatever.
Sweeney: I'm glad they are being eliminated as hastily as they were introduced.
Sweeney: I'm glad they are being eliminated as hastily as they were introduced.
Buffybot is surrounded by the Lame-O Biker Demons. She babbles about a total systems failure, and how she has to get back to Willow for repairs. One of the Lame-Os knocks her down with a chain.
In the woods, Tara and Anya have found Xander and a passed out Willow. Xander thinks the Biker Demons won't bother them in the woods, but Anya isn't convinced. Xander adjusts his plan to "split up and meet at the Magic Box." He's stay with Willow, since he can carry her. Anya asks about the Buffybot, but Xander proclaims it a loss. The gang all take off running.
We cut back to the cemetery, and in a shot through one of the spokes of a motorcycle wheel, we see the Lame-Os taking great pleasure in repeatedly kicking the Buffybot. I have robot feels.
In the woods, Tara and Anya have found Xander and a passed out Willow. Xander thinks the Biker Demons won't bother them in the woods, but Anya isn't convinced. Xander adjusts his plan to "split up and meet at the Magic Box." He's stay with Willow, since he can carry her. Anya asks about the Buffybot, but Xander proclaims it a loss. The gang all take off running.
We cut back to the cemetery, and in a shot through one of the spokes of a motorcycle wheel, we see the Lame-Os taking great pleasure in repeatedly kicking the Buffybot. I have robot feels.
Lorraine: I'm not really sure how you introduce this episode, Whedon's take on a public service announcement, but probably with an invitation for you all to grab a beer.
We open at the graveyard and after a second of silence, we see that Buffy is currently in the middle of kicking some vampire butt, but is momentarily distracted by Poop Head Parker, on the ground, softly calling out to her.
She instructs him to stay down and the fight sequence continues with a very cool running kick, in which she uses the side of a gravestone to propel herself.
We open at the graveyard and after a second of silence, we see that Buffy is currently in the middle of kicking some vampire butt, but is momentarily distracted by Poop Head Parker, on the ground, softly calling out to her.
She instructs him to stay down and the fight sequence continues with a very cool running kick, in which she uses the side of a gravestone to propel herself.
Sweeney: Halloween! Huzzah! This isn't the best Halloween episode of the series, but it's one of the few watchable episodes in this abysmal season, something I am going to complain about at the beginning of every single post so get used to it.
K: I'm going to argue that it IS the best Halloween episode of the series, because we've already established that Soldier Xander annoys the crap out of me, and the Halloween episode in season 6 is kind of lame. But that might just be because I like to be contrary.
Sweeney: I can't even fault that episode for giving us soldier Xander; I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
K: I'm going to argue that it IS the best Halloween episode of the series, because we've already established that Soldier Xander annoys the crap out of me, and the Halloween episode in season 6 is kind of lame. But that might just be because I like to be contrary.
Sweeney: I can't even fault that episode for giving us soldier Xander; I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
I have a love/hate relationship with this episode. Because it's kind of awesome. But there's also a crapton of douchey nonsense that pisses me off. So...yeah.
We open at the Bronze. Oh, trusty Bronze. At least something around here is still the same... Also the same? Dingoes Ate My Baby are playing and Willow's doing her proud face over Oz's musical abilities.
Lor: Also, Devon is wearing a belly-shirt with the US flag on it. Oh, trusty horrible fashion. You too are still the same.
Sweeney: And we're so glad for it! I would be so lost and confused without it.
K: So true.
We open at the Bronze. Oh, trusty Bronze. At least something around here is still the same... Also the same? Dingoes Ate My Baby are playing and Willow's doing her proud face over Oz's musical abilities.
Lor: Also, Devon is wearing a belly-shirt with the US flag on it. Oh, trusty horrible fashion. You too are still the same.
Sweeney: And we're so glad for it! I would be so lost and confused without it.
K: So true.
Sweeney: Season four is here! I'll save my rant about this season for the wrap-up and get right to work, because I'm all about getting through this season as quickly as possible. Let the snark commence.
The season begins in the cemetery, I guess to comfort us that some things never change. Fortunately, Willow's hair did change for the better this season.
K: Possibly just to be contrary, I love Buffy's hair and hate Willow's. I have no explanation for this.
Sweeney: Buffy's hair is great too.
The season begins in the cemetery, I guess to comfort us that some things never change. Fortunately, Willow's hair did change for the better this season.
K: Possibly just to be contrary, I love Buffy's hair and hate Willow's. I have no explanation for this.
Sweeney: Buffy's hair is great too.
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