The previouslies show Tommen agreeing to be in the Cult Miltant, Cersei telling Jaime that he doesn't need to stick around because she's gonna have a trial by combat and she's already got a FrankenMountain for that, The Blackfish sassing Jaime, Sexy Septon getting killed and the Hound getting angry, and Arya getting stabbed a bunch.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
We open at a bar. A late 30s blonde sits at the bar, sipping a cocktail and looking bored. Sam sits down next to her, acting super weird. He shows off his licence dramatically, talking about how he's 26. The bartender's all "I do not get paid enough for this shit", which is legit. He proceeds to order a banana daiquiri. Blonde Cougar introduces herself, and Sam says that his name is Gary. She flirts with him, and he's all "RIGHT?? I'm totally hot!"
His daiquiri arrives and for some reason, with every sip he takes, we're treated to that "okay, seriously, your drink is finished, stop convincing yourself you can get the last drop through the straw" sound, which makes zero sense.
His daiquiri arrives and for some reason, with every sip he takes, we're treated to that "okay, seriously, your drink is finished, stop convincing yourself you can get the last drop through the straw" sound, which makes zero sense.
We pick up exactly where we left off last time. The guys stare at Showgirl Costume Cordy in confusion, and she says Pylea's not that bad although her throne could use more cushions. Wes says that it's great because now she can set them all free. Gunn makes puppy dog eyes at her as he shows off his manacles. She says that there should be extended grovelling first, and Angel rolls his eyes. So she says "Off with their heads!" The guards all pull their swords and the guys look shocked. "Just kidding!" she adds. Roll electric cellos.
Sweeney: Girl, this is not really the audience for joking about members of the Fang Gang getting beheaded.
Sweeney: Girl, this is not really the audience for joking about members of the Fang Gang getting beheaded.
I gloated during my last episode about how I always get the fun credits. I should've learned from Buffy villains and kept the gloating to a minimum: King's Landing, Harrenhal, Riverrun, Ring of Fire Winterfell, The Wall, and across the Shivering Sea toYunkai.
Jon Snow and his ice-wall-climbing pack of Wildlings are walking along on the green side of the Wall. Which is confusing, because his time spent training at the wall was always very snowy and miserable. Also, there are a lot more Wildlings than I initially thought there were. They only showed us Ginger NotMance (Tormund Giantsbane), Wildling Warg, Ygritte and Jon. But, okay. There's a whole pack of them.
Jon Snow and his ice-wall-climbing pack of Wildlings are walking along on the green side of the Wall. Which is confusing, because his time spent training at the wall was always very snowy and miserable. Also, there are a lot more Wildlings than I initially thought there were. They only showed us Ginger NotMance (Tormund Giantsbane), Wildling Warg, Ygritte and Jon. But, okay. There's a whole pack of them.