Note: A version of this recap was originally published on May 5, 2011, early in the days of Snark Squad. Nicole and I have always toyed with the idea of...
When the OC debuted, I was 13 years old, and I got totally sucked in. I had a crush on Ryan and probably Marissa too. I don’t know why, because my life was about the opposite of these kids--I was living in a studio apartment with my mom, the two of us sleeping on a couch together with the cushions falling in to the springs, one blanket, and loads of cats. Yeah, my childhood was pretty interesting. I wouldn’t trade it for this drama I’m about to cover, though I might have then.
Anyway, a few episodes in, my mom’s boyfriend lost his cable--so bye bye, OC. I forgot about it, until a creepy teacher at my junior high later that year told me I looked like Mischa Barton.
Anyway, a few episodes in, my mom’s boyfriend lost his cable--so bye bye, OC. I forgot about it, until a creepy teacher at my junior high later that year told me I looked like Mischa Barton.
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson's plans for a get-to-know-you movie night with Eve have gone awry because a) she prefers TV and b) she's taken over said TV and is making him watch Felicity. I laugh for approximately a hundred years over his "HOW CAN YOU PREFER TV?!?!?!" reaction. She says TV is the same thing but "shorter and with built in bathroom breaks" and she's not at all wrong. Dawson scoffs some more, particularly when she says it's like getting a new sequel every week, because "Sequels I hate on principle". Ugh. Go fuck yourself, Dawson Leery. I'll just be over here with Captain America: The Winter Soldier, shitting all over your arguments.
Improbable Bonfire. Dumbledore's Army: Murder Unit (D: A+) jumps from being with the body and its pool of blood on the floor to being out in the woods - basically this is the bridge between the Grimmauld Place scenes and the woodsy Lying Liar Coin Toss. Up the hill from where they're lying low, two people are about to hook up - it's implied that they're a cheatery secret couple and needing to hook up with people in the miserable freezing cold is a great argument in favor of fidelity - but they stop when they hear a phone ringing. They leave rather than investigate, because nobody's trying to get murdered investigating shady noises in the woods. (M: Not even for sex.) Laurel silences her phone very slowly (gotta get those texting gloves, girl!) and Michaela starts whisper yelling at her for telling Frank all of this.
We open, predictably, in the Shrine o' Spielberg. Joey's crying her way through the first cut of Dawson's autobiographical shitfest. As it finishes, he asks for her opinion. "In my whole life, I've never been so unequivocally moved by words and moving images on screen!" she says before continuing that this movie will change people's lives. Dawson's thrilled. Joey says that there's no doubt that Jack McPhee will be one of the great filmmakers of our generation. Dawson's all "Skrrrrt, WHAT". He grabs the tape from the VCR and finds that it says it was directed by Jack.
He's confused. Jack climbs in the window, and he and Joey gush over each other for a minute before Jack says that he bumped into Spielberg and has been offered a job.
He's confused. Jack climbs in the window, and he and Joey gush over each other for a minute before Jack says that he bumped into Spielberg and has been offered a job.
Ryan and Marissa are finally officially together and to show how together they are this episode starts with a make out session in Ryan's pool house.
Lorraine: I'm really uncomfortable with the heavy breathing Mischa Barton is doing right now. Just, FYI.
Sweeney: SAME.
Lorraine: I'm really uncomfortable with the heavy breathing Mischa Barton is doing right now. Just, FYI.
Sweeney: SAME.
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson talks to himself as he flips through the TV stations. He pauses briefly on scrambled porn before settling on classic movies. Convenient, really, because it means that when Joey climbs in the window a second later, she doesn't find him bonding with Little Dawson. (D: Except Joey would call it "walking his dog," because she's the worst.) (K: TRUE.) Joey, who's borrowed Faith's coma make up complains about sleep deprivation courtesy of her shiny new nephew and says her GPA is dropping as a result.
Dawson tells her to just stay over, which she rapidly agrees to. She judges him for his choice of movies and he starts to defend Gary Cooper, pining for the days when the nerd could easily get the girl.
Dawson tells her to just stay over, which she rapidly agrees to. She judges him for his choice of movies and he starts to defend Gary Cooper, pining for the days when the nerd could easily get the girl.
Shrine O'Spielberg. Dawson and Joey are having a disaster movie marathon because there's a hurricane a-blowin'. Gail and her not-so-secret lover Bob are covering the storm on TV, and are overtly flirting with each other during the broadcast because they're bad at secrets. Dawson's parents still don't know that he knows about the affair, and he's too tired to deal with feelings, so he asks Joey, "You mind if I sack?" Is this an actual thing that humans say? (K: Maybe it was in the 90s??) Anyway, Joey basically tells him to deal with his shit instead of hiding out in the storm. Instead, he broods and watches his mother and her mastress (man-mistress? Guys, it's so sexist that there isn't a word for this!) on the news.
We open in Dawson's Shrine o' Spielberg. He's watching his footage back (read: creepily talking about how perfect Jen is) while Joey sasses about how Jen's future is sooooooooo predictable - she'll go to a small liberal arts college, major in art history, move back to Manhattan, marry a stockbroker, move to the suburbs and raise neurotically perfect children. Dawson changes the subject to what he should get his parents for their wedding anniversary, and um, NOTHING??? Unless buying your parents an anniversary present is a thing in America and I'm not aware of it?!
Democracy Diva: Yeah, definitely have never done that. I think maybe I gave them a card when we had a big dinner for their 30th anniversary, but in general, this is not a thing in my circles.
Democracy Diva: Yeah, definitely have never done that. I think maybe I gave them a card when we had a big dinner for their 30th anniversary, but in general, this is not a thing in my circles.
Remember that time like two years ago that Lor and Sweeney covered a bunch of pilot episodes and one of them was Dawson's Creek? SURPRISE! We're going to cover the rest of it. I was a Dawson's Creek fan from basically the minute it aired in Australia, although I stopped watching sometime around the point where they all went off to college because it was the contrivance-iest contrivance ever that they would all end up in Boston. But whatever. I revisited the series a couple of years ago, and re-established the fact that I will always and forever be on Team Pacey.
Democracy Diva: I wasn't particularly interested in Dawson's Creek when it was new, but I developed a mid-aughts interest in it and have seen the first few seasons.
Democracy Diva: I wasn't particularly interested in Dawson's Creek when it was new, but I developed a mid-aughts interest in it and have seen the first few seasons.
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