Previously: It’s really not worth recapping the demon-bot story because it’s the worst of the eight episodes we have recapped so far. The Snark Squad does not approve of that...
Previously: When we last left Sweet Valley, Steven’s girlfriend had got the cancer. There was a lot of time spent in hospitals, thanks to the twins also conveniently volunteering as...
K: We open at the cemetery. Buffy is fighting a vampire, as she’s known to do. She slays, and Giles judges, telling her that she should adopt a “plunge and move on” approach. I’ll take “Things you shouldn’t say to teenage girls when you’re a creepy old dude” for $200, Alex.
Lor: And it's the Daily Double!
Despite the Giles creepiness, though, he has a legit point. Mid-vampire ass whooping, Buffy quips SO SO MUCH. During this fight? "We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Buffy, and you're history."
Uuuugh.
Lor: I was never a cheerleader. I could attribute this to my two left feet, distaste for most group activities and propensity for alienating people, but the truth is that I never tried cheerleading because my mother deemed the skirts too short, and we all know short skirts are the devil.
K: I was never a cheerleader, because we don’t do that shit in Australia.
And also because of all the reasons Lor said. (Except for my mother thinking short skirts were the devil. She grew up in the 1960s and so was ALL about the short skirts...)
Previously: I’m not really sure what happened to Nancy, but we used a lot of Twilight gifs. — Lorraine: Let’s get this out of the way early: never go on...
Ana calls Kate with the photo shoot news and Kate's very excited. She's also convinced that Grey's intentions are more than just a helping out the newspaper. Kate's all, "isn't it kind of weird that he followed you all the way to where you work and gave you his cell phone number?" Yes. Yes it is.
Ana regurgitates Grey's "I was in the area" thing and I can just imagine Kate rolling her eyes.
I didn't mention this in chapter 2, but Ana keeps telling us about this "small, quiet voice" in her head. Actually, she told us specifically that this voice was coming from the base of her brain in the medulla oblongata where her subconscious lives, because E.L. James wants to make sure you have all the details, ever. And, I know we all have conscious thought but her voice is kind of creepy and it's always whispering things.
Ana regurgitates Grey's "I was in the area" thing and I can just imagine Kate rolling her eyes.
I didn't mention this in chapter 2, but Ana keeps telling us about this "small, quiet voice" in her head. Actually, she told us specifically that this voice was coming from the base of her brain in the medulla oblongata where her subconscious lives, because E.L. James wants to make sure you have all the details, ever. And, I know we all have conscious thought but her voice is kind of creepy and it's always whispering things.
Previously: Dawn has legit issues but we instead spend a whole book bringing Toddlers and Tiaras to Stoneybrook. — Sweeney: It has been a while, Traumateers. Lorraine: Yeeeeeah. Well. About...
Previously: Mallory was accepted into the BSC and Stoneybrook was a hot, racist mess. — Lorraine: Our first Baby-sitter Super Special! One million imaginary internet points to the reader who...
Previously: Stacey left and we said goodbye to her like 87 times. —Nugs: I feel like I should get this out before the Ladies of Snark make some kind of...
Lily: This is a story about a boy and his wolf. Lorraine: For a second there, I was going to be all, “JACOB?” but then I realized you said, “a...
Previously: Liz and Jess decided they wanted a Jungle Prom and they both wanted to be the Prom Queen. Jess took it a little too seriously, though, when she decided...
Previously: Another Nancy vacation ended in death. But really, she should’ve known better because she went skiing, and ew, snow. — Lorraine: There are two types of Nancy Drew books:...
Previously: Kristy’s cuntiness is rivaled when a snob in her neighborhood makes fun of her dead dog. Their book long hatred is solved, however, when Kristy throws pizza on the...
Lorraine: And before you judge me preemptively for the title of this post, let me go ahead and show you the cover of this book: In case you were wondering,...
Previously: Mary Anne had her series defining moment: SHE GOT A CAT. Wait, no, I mean she got a boyfriend. Sorry, it was just a lot of excitement in one...