We open, as always, in the Shrine o' Spielberg where Pacey and Jen are making out. DUDE, NO. Who breaks into their best friend's house (although given the ladder, it's not REALLY breaking in, I guess??) to make out in their bed? Gross.
Democracy Diva: Also, pick a sexier room than the Shrine O'Spielberg to make out in. Avoid having E.T. watch you do the nasty at all costs.
K: Truth.
Anyway, the making out stops because they agree that they still have zero sexual interest in the other person. They discuss their past history and how everything should be falling into place because they came prepared (Pacey flashes condoms) and picked the perfect location (ugh).
It’s been nearly two months since I last wrote a Gotham recap, but it still feels like this one came around far too quickly. I know Sweeney and Mari have been feeling really guilty about asking me to recap this show with them, and all I can say is…
We start in nature with two guys who clearly want to be bear-mauled. By that I mostly mean that they are in nature and seeking out a particular cave. Their faces are really dirty and I don't know why. I guess they rolled most of the way here? Hesitant Dirty Face thinks the cave looks small for a mine shaft, but Stupid Dirty Face is all, "s'whatever. Let's go in."
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
We pick up right where we left off, with the Empty People closing in around the Doctor, Rose and Jack. The Doctor yells at them all to go to their room. They pause. With more conviction and a hand point, the Doctor says he's very cross and again orders them to their room. We cut between him and the Empty Child who was closing in on Nancy. The Empty Child hangs his head, chastised, turns around and leaves. All of the Empty People do the exact same.
Are we done with season 1 yet? Almost? Cool.
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
We start with some very un-Dawson's Creek-esque rock music. A hot and sweaty (ugh) Dawson wakes on a bus and turns to check out the hot blonde girl next to him. Except he has drool all over his chin. She informs him of this and follows up with "You're a very heavy breather, did you know that?" LOL. She asks what he's watching - right, because his 1999 laptop would have enough battery power to watch an entire movie - and he tells her it's Risky Business. She scoffs at them having made a teenager losing his virginity to a hooker romantic, and Dawson claims it's more of a myth. He more or less uses the phrase "boy on the verge of manhood" that I hated so very much from season 1, so I want to punch him in the face more than usual. She declares him adorable, and he introduces himself.
A very worried man in suspenders is trying to make his way unnoticed through an what looks like an office/storage area. He slips on a ski mask and makes a run for it, but another identically dressed man leaps out at him. A fight ensues, and it's a little hard to keep track of what's going on because I don't know who is who. One Ski Mask Man rips the blade off a paper cutter and uses that to attack the Two Ski Mask Man. All said and done, One Ski Mask Man cuts Two's finger off, but in the end, it is Two who wrestles away the blade and hacks One to death. Two lifts off his mask and reveals he is not the original, very worried man we saw. RIP Very Worried Man. We never knew ye. Two looks toward a nearby survellaince camera and now we're watching him on the video. He lifts his arm in some sort of salute at whoever is watching him.
Halliwell Manor. Piper and Prue rush around trying to locate things like lip gloss and a plane ticket-- things that Phoebe has all arranged in front of her, perched up on a table in the hall. She grabs each item and concentrates. When she does this with the ticket, she has a premonition of Piper watching a plane take off. If that's SFO, I'd really love to know how she knew from outside that one of the planes taking off was hers.
Phoebe snaps out of it and her sisters discover that she has the very items they are looking for. She tells them the wonderful news that she was trying to have a premonition on command and it worked.
Phoebe snaps out of it and her sisters discover that she has the very items they are looking for. She tells them the wonderful news that she was trying to have a premonition on command and it worked.
We open with a slightly terrifying close-up of a ginger bloke and Rose voiceover-ing about her dad, the most wonderful man in the world. I feel like I know the ginger bloke from something, but IMDb informs me it's just One Episode of Every British Police Show Ever. (M: A+) That throws us into a flashback of Jackie showing Mini!Rose photos of her father and telling her about the day he died, how it was the same day that friends of hers got married. In the TARDIS, Rose asks the Doctor if they can go and see her father when he was still alive. The Doctor is briefly concerned and tells her "be careful what you wish for" but agrees with a grin nonetheless. He pulls some controls and the TARDIS vworp vworps.
Previously: The Trickster turned up and laid out a ton of punishment on various douchebags, and it was awesome. Roadkill Kirsti: We open on a generic two-lane highway at night. A...
Okay, y'all. This is one of my favourite episodes ever, because of reasons. So I've been excited for, like, EVER about recapping this one. Let's get to it. A middle-aged professor type heads up the steps of a college building after dark, then stops when he sees a pretty young thing (who looks weirdly like a brunette Reese Witherspoon) in a sundress fixing her shoe. I'm going to go ahead and award him a "THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS" because he's in an overcoat and scarf, and doesn't think her lack of coat is at all suspect. Anyway, Brunette Witherspoon flirts a little as she says that she's in one of his classes and he invites her up to his office. There's some more flirting, a little making out, and then her face turns all grey and rotten. "What's the matter? Don't you like me any more?" she says sadly. Downstairs, a janitor locks the front of the building and heads down the stairs. There's a crunch behind him and he turns to see Creeper Professor, face first in the concrete.
We open on…lots of shirtless construction workers. Unfortunately, the camera’s not on them nearly long enough. The only two people with shirts are Sandy and I guess the head construction dude, and it’s not until they start talking that I realize the construction is in the Cohen home. Their house is torn apart, literally and figuratively, which Sandy actually says out loud. As always, very subtle with the symbolism, writers. They talk about the endless construction and we learn that it’s now September. Just before the construction workers knock down a wall that almost hits them, Sandy complains about all the shirtless guys (killjoy!) saying that the neighbors have started to call their house The Manhole. Hee. Kirsten comes downstairs wearing this adorable little black dress and greets “Archie,” the head construction dude.
Rosewood used to have One Restaurant but I think they gave up on that and started serving food in the One Coffee Shop. That's where we find our girls now. They exposit in the clunkiest ways possible the events of Wilden's murder and funeral. ("I was looking at that freaky woman!" "Which one?" "Oh, you know, the one with the veil we all saw and would definitely be described as freaky! REMEMBER?" Yes girls, we remember. Thank you.)
Sweeney: Next time we hang out I think we need to better prepare for the TV version of our lives by having long conversations about things we just did.
Sweeney: Next time we hang out I think we need to better prepare for the TV version of our lives by having long conversations about things we just did.
Ryan and Seth are walking back to the hotel-apartment where Theresa was staying. Ryan left his watch. Seth asks him all kinds of awkward questions about when exactly he took the watch off. During the deed? During foreplay? Before foreplay, which he fears would be presumptuous? The fact that he picks on that one and not, say, taking off your watch mid-sex worries me. This one-sided bro-chat ends with Seth saying he likes to leave the watch on to try and beat his previous times.
Inside the office, the hotel-apartment worker makes things even more awkward when he asks if Theresa is Ryan's girlfriend. Ryan blinks rapidly at him and looks like he might have to sneeze but it won't come out. In Ben McKenzie, this might be interpreted as "uncomfortable."
Inside the office, the hotel-apartment worker makes things even more awkward when he asks if Theresa is Ryan's girlfriend. Ryan blinks rapidly at him and looks like he might have to sneeze but it won't come out. In Ben McKenzie, this might be interpreted as "uncomfortable."
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson wibbles about Shakespeare while watching the Elizabeth Taylor version of The Taming of the Shrew. The camera pans out to show us that his post-break up movie watching partner is Gail. LOL. Gail cries over the movie, and Dawson expresses concern over her excess of emotions. She, in return, says she's worried about his LACK of emotions over Joey breaking up with him. Because apparently wallowing in being dumped makes you a better person. Or something...
Democracy Diva: Dubious advice, but it was nice to see these two have a cute bonding moment.
Democracy Diva: Dubious advice, but it was nice to see these two have a cute bonding moment.