Wallace asks Veronica what her big Friday night plans are. All she's got so far are taking Backup for a run and possibly renting a PG-13 movie. If you take away the "going for a run" part you have a good representative of most of my Friday nights. No shame, V.
Wallace isn't on board with these plans, though, and aspires to a live a life inspired by a Nelly rap video. LOL. Nelly.
Sweeney: "Step back, wild child," is a favorite phrase of mine in life. It's another one of those, "TV informs how I engage with the other humans," moments.
he actual previouslies are in fact two full minutes of everything we said we wanted to forget happened in season 6, including the attempted rape. Some of you claimed to love this episode, so I will try not to hold that reel against it. In case you were wondering, though, yep. I still hate it.
Sweeney: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US, SHOW?
Kirsti: Not even the few seconds tacked on the end of stuff that happened in the previous episode could dull my fury.
Sweeney: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US, SHOW?
Kirsti: Not even the few seconds tacked on the end of stuff that happened in the previous episode could dull my fury.
We open at the Hyperion. Gunn and Fred are going through files, and it's awkward because there are a bunch that Wes was meant to be taking care of, but not so much any more. Lorne walks in, and asks how they're going before saying that it's important to keep busy and throw yourself into your work at times like these. He looks pointedly at the stairs as he says this. Fred reminds him that Angel's lost the only child he'll ever have, and Lorne says that he knows, but wishes Angel would talk to them.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
After the previouslies, we're in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. A couple of vampires are running for their lives, but not from Buffy. No, they're running from the Trio, who are all riding quad bikes with stakes on the front of them and who are after the metal disc one of the vamps is holding. Because OBVIOUSLY to everything in that sentence.
One of the vamps stops and breaks a branch off a nearby tree, and uses it to knock Andrew off his quad bike. Warren and Jonathan swerve to avoid him and collide. The vamps run for it but only get as far as the gate before they're attacked by Buffy. Clearly not having a good night. Buffy knocks one vamp out, and starts pummelling the other. While doing so, the knocked out vamp comes to and starts creeping up behind her.
One of the vamps stops and breaks a branch off a nearby tree, and uses it to knock Andrew off his quad bike. Warren and Jonathan swerve to avoid him and collide. The vamps run for it but only get as far as the gate before they're attacked by Buffy. Clearly not having a good night. Buffy knocks one vamp out, and starts pummelling the other. While doing so, the knocked out vamp comes to and starts creeping up behind her.
The actual, official previouslies remind us that the Liars are now in possession of A's cell phone, which happened completely by accident, despite their semi-elaborate plan. We start this episode with the Liars heading back into the Greenhouse of Secrets, all of them all kind of running around like headless chickens. They look for the box New Jason gave Aria while Spencer announces that the cell phone is locked.
Emily wonders where they all were while she almost had her face troweled off. Aria explains that she dropped a bomb at home and was sent to her room. Spencer says Toby cornered her and Hanna blurts out that Kate is moving to Rosewood. That's the piece of news that gets the biggest reaction out of the Liars, because priorities.
Emily wonders where they all were while she almost had her face troweled off. Aria explains that she dropped a bomb at home and was sent to her room. Spencer says Toby cornered her and Hanna blurts out that Kate is moving to Rosewood. That's the piece of news that gets the biggest reaction out of the Liars, because priorities.
After a whopping one minute and twenty three seconds of previouslies (seriously?!), a middle aged couple are being cornered by some guys in an alley. Buffy puns her way into the picture and goes in for the fight, only to discover that the guys doing the cornering are human and she's just interrupted a run of the mill mugging. She hands the lady back her handbag and ushers the couple away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
We get a good, old fashioned misdirection opening today, this time with a big pointy sword in Wesley's face. I'm happy to report that his hair is deflating, but unfortunately it is still not at acceptable levels.
Sweeney: I wonder if his Puff Level will prove comparable to John Green's as an indicator of stress level?
Kirsti: We can but hope, Sweeney.
Lor: Cordy is holding the sword. They banter about running through inventory, because Angel has been complaining about the weapons cabinet.
Sweeney: I wonder if his Puff Level will prove comparable to John Green's as an indicator of stress level?
Kirsti: We can but hope, Sweeney.
Lor: Cordy is holding the sword. They banter about running through inventory, because Angel has been complaining about the weapons cabinet.
It's finale time, kids! Can we all just stop and marvel at how this season seemed to last about five minutes while season 4 dragged on for a freaking millennium? Also, we've now made it through a whopping ONE HUNDRED episodes of Buffy. I feel like that warrants celebration.
Lorraine: I'm really feeling all nostalgic over Buffy. I know we have two full seasons to go, but it's just that much more over. I'm sorry. I'm clouding our celebration with my attachment-to-TV feels. Here. Have a happy dance gif:
Sweeney: I'm glad it's also a well dressed happy dance gif. This is a big event and we must dress accordingly.
Lorraine: I'm really feeling all nostalgic over Buffy. I know we have two full seasons to go, but it's just that much more over. I'm sorry. I'm clouding our celebration with my attachment-to-TV feels. Here. Have a happy dance gif:
Sweeney: I'm glad it's also a well dressed happy dance gif. This is a big event and we must dress accordingly.
The episode starts immediately after the end of the last, with Glory busting into Tara's dorm room from the outside and discovering that Dawn is the key. Buffy takes off running with Dawn, and apparently doesn't have time to open the door, so she barrels through it. Of course, now she's on the floor and has to scramble to her feet. I'd call that a plan fail.
Sweeney: Not that she really had ample time for quality plan-making.
Kirsti: True. But my first thought would always be to open a door rather than try to jump through it...
Sweeney: Not that she really had ample time for quality plan-making.
Kirsti: True. But my first thought would always be to open a door rather than try to jump through it...
The episode begins with the gang eating a fancy dinner to celebrate Cordelia getting a job on a national commercial. Angel's being really awkward about all the "being out in public" and also the cost of the food. "I'm not cheap, I'm just old." LOL.
Kirsti: I'm gonna go ahead and start using that excuse when people drag me into stores where a t-shirt costs $100.
Sweeney: Cordelia feels guilty about ditching them mid-case. Wesley and Gunn discuss how they'll have no problems being manly men killing the demon thing to death and they fist bump. Angel jumps in for a repeat fist bump and it's cute.
Kirsti: I'm gonna go ahead and start using that excuse when people drag me into stores where a t-shirt costs $100.
Sweeney: Cordelia feels guilty about ditching them mid-case. Wesley and Gunn discuss how they'll have no problems being manly men killing the demon thing to death and they fist bump. Angel jumps in for a repeat fist bump and it's cute.
We open at Lindsey's apartment. His alarm clock goes off, and he stares at it for a minute before turning it off with his stump. He shaves and gets dressed before putting on his prosthetic hand. He opens the cupboard to get a pre-tied tie, and stares sadly at his guitar. I know Lindsey's the evil lawyer guy and all, but this is kind of giving me feels, you guys. Lindsey needs a hug or something. Although to be fair, it's possible that I'm being manipulated by the Oboe of Sad Times...
Lorraine: It's totally the Oboe. I mean, not having a hand is sympathy-inducing, but also, Lindsey lost it because he was being an evil douche nozzle, so, yeah.
Lorraine: It's totally the Oboe. I mean, not having a hand is sympathy-inducing, but also, Lindsey lost it because he was being an evil douche nozzle, so, yeah.
We open in the Summers' kitchen. Buffy's washing dishes while Giles and Dawn dry and put things away. Apparently the Best Surrogate Parent of Ever made dinner for the girls. Dawn goes to check her room for additional dishes, and Giles takes advantage of her absence to ask how they're both doing. "Some minutes are harder than others," Buffy replies.
Lorraine: Subtle but brilliant line. Grief happens minute by minute.
Sweeney: Agreed. I think that applies to most turbulent life times. Emotional stuff doesn't just hit you all at once and then go away. It ebbs and flows and I can't stop congratulating this show for how wonderfully it's portraying all of this.
Lorraine: Subtle but brilliant line. Grief happens minute by minute.
Sweeney: Agreed. I think that applies to most turbulent life times. Emotional stuff doesn't just hit you all at once and then go away. It ebbs and flows and I can't stop congratulating this show for how wonderfully it's portraying all of this.
Kirsti: We open in an abandoned looking place full of corridors and the camera promptly zooms in on a shopping trolley with a creepy doll sitting in it. But not a Drusilla creepy doll. More like a Chucky creepy doll. Thanks, Zoomy Cameraman, for weirding me out like 10 seconds into the episode.
Angel appears in the background. He heads past the creepy doll and opens a door. He heads into the room, closes the door behind him, then turns on the light. The room is filled with goats. Angel looks as confused as I do.
Sweeney: His confusion is excellent.
Angel appears in the background. He heads past the creepy doll and opens a door. He heads into the room, closes the door behind him, then turns on the light. The room is filled with goats. Angel looks as confused as I do.
Sweeney: His confusion is excellent.
Kirsti: Okay, I hate this episode SO FUCKING MUCH, YOU GUYS. Because of reasons. Not least of which is the introduction of quite possibly my least favourite character in the whole of the Buffy-verse. Oh Number Gods, why must you torment me like this? SIGH.
Sweeney: Robots + Warren? Yeah, this was pretty bad draw.
Lorraine: Let's just remember that you ended up third in the rotation because you HAD to cover School Hard.
K: Okay, fine. I have no one to blame but myself.
Sweeney: Robots + Warren? Yeah, this was pretty bad draw.
Lorraine: Let's just remember that you ended up third in the rotation because you HAD to cover School Hard.
K: Okay, fine. I have no one to blame but myself.
We open at Crispydale High and Buffy searching for Riley. LOL, NICE TRY. He's hanging out in Adam's cave, being called 'brother' and being given a pep talk. "What have you done to me?" Riley asks, and Adam replies that the Evil Bitch Monster [Professor Walsh] gave Riley a behavioural modification chip, just like Spike's. Except that instead of being in his brain, it's in his chest and is tied into his central nervous system. LOL, OKAY SHOW. WHATEVER.
Sweeney: Since I've already ranked this episode really high on the strength of, quite frankly, one scene, I feel obligated to make it clear how much bullshit I am willing to put up with for certain things. Epic bullshit break #1!
Sweeney: Since I've already ranked this episode really high on the strength of, quite frankly, one scene, I feel obligated to make it clear how much bullshit I am willing to put up with for certain things. Epic bullshit break #1!