Tag: dazzling you with my brooding

Twilight Chapter 08 – My knight in shining Volvo

On the girly roadtrip to Port Angeles, Jessica wibbles about boys and dates while forcing them to listen to "whiny rock songs". Despite this, Bella informs us that "the estrogen rush was invigorating". I…don't know what the fuck that means. I think she's trying to say that it was nice to hang out with other teenage girls, but she's also told us multiple times that she gives zero fucks about Jessica and Angela, so…yeah.
Marines: I died laughing. I've been a girl all of my life and I've never experienced an invigorating estrogen rush. Should I be asking for my money back? 

Twilight Chapter 04 – Premonitions of RAGE

Continuing on from yesterday's total lack of a cliffhanger, Bella tells us all about her Edward dream. In it, "what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin." Because he glows as well as sparkling, apparently. Oh. Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, Dream!Edward continually walks away from Bella no matter what she does. LOL.
Marines: I'm going to go ahead and call a red flag on dreams of your crush glowing in the dark and running away from you. Also WHAT THE CHEATERY, SKIN-GLOWING NARRATION HELL? Is Bella a prophet? Please just tell this Snow if the answer is yes so I can stop asking HOW SHE KNOWS SO MUCH. 

Twilight Chapter 02 – She’s the worst.

The chapter opens with the line "The next day was better... and worse," and I'm already pissed off.
The day was better for Bella because it wasn't raining yet and she knew what to expect on her second day of school, but worse, because she was tired. Bella complains about the rain, the people she has to attend school with, but she internal-monologues about how she is starting to remember some of her fellow students' names. This is the short list of complaints explaining how her day was better. Girl. Just. Lighten up.
Catherine: Honestly, she should just be glad that any of her 'fellow students' are willing to be friends with her. It's a sacrifice. 

After Chapter 76 – Probably a man eating plant.

Previously: A corner office with a view! — Samantha: Tessa leaves her so-unbelievable-its-not-believable-first day and tries calling Hardin but he doesn’t answer. Then she goes to the mall to buy some...

Jessica Jones S01 E02 – Awkward ’cause of sex.

I love this shooooooooooow. Okay. We open with the Marvel logo and the pretty and disarming credits. I love how the music starts kind of low key and quaint and then builds into this more rock thing.
Credits over, Jessica Jones is sitting in a police interrogation room. A detective comes in and she tells him that she's not sure how much more she can tell him. He comments on her tension and she's basically like "Yeah. I watched people get murdered by an abused and controlled girl at the end of last episode. Of course I am." He asks how she got in touch with the Shlottman's and how she found Hope.

After Chapter 50 – Saved by the bell.

Previously: IDK, Hardin’s parents were presumptuous and weird. — Samantha: I am considering getting out the good old brain bleach for this, another sexytimes chapter in like 3 chapters. Marines: No...

After Chapter 46 – As if.

Previously: Hardin and Tessa had a fight about family dinner. — Samantha: Tessa notices that Hardin seems tense for some reason as they drive to the family dinner he very...

After Chapter 44 – Small dumpster fires.

Previously: Hardin and Tess went to the same coed shower to shower. — Samantha: The chapter starts with Tessa telling us she stopped to use the toilet. Cool. She then notices...

Supergirl S02 E09 – So cheese.

Previously: Lena and Kara still have the most chemistry of all. — Supergirl Lives Marines: The good news is that we’re going so slowly, all the episode are now on Netflix…...

Daredevil S01 E02 – Excuse me sir, you are stabbed.

Alley. Bloody dumpster. A young on his way to take out the trash finds a bloody guy in the dumpster instead, so he understandably drops the trash bag and runs. Hopefully for help, but I wouldn't judge the kid if not. This is an awfully murder-y alley. The bloody guy in the dumpster? It's Matt and he's not doing so well.

After Chapter 38 – Broken dishes.

Steph hugs Tessa, who finds her "frail" arms oddly comforting. That's a weird way to describe a seemingly healthy teenager but okay.
Marines: This is how you know the author hates women: she can't compliment Steph in ANYTHING without wrapping it in an insult. Steph just got Hardin out and is coming over to comfort her and Terrible Tess has to note how FRAIL she is before calling it comforting. 

After Chapter 31 – Don’t try this at home.

Tessa tries to take a step back from Hardin, but "his grip is too strong." We're going to totally ignore her lack of bodily autonomy in this very moment because she's so! shocked! and! over! whelmed! that Hardin just said he wants to be good. If it is THIS SHOCKING that someone has set the pretty mid-level bar of being good, perhaps don't date that person. #SnarkLadyAdvice (S: #MaybeLiterallySavesLivesInThisCase.)