I really wanted to pretend that I have totally been keeping up with the show since recapping The Telanovela, but there is literally nothing happening before my mind is already blown. It wasn't THAT long ago that Kirsten was bragging about her specialty of taking food out of take out containers and now she's apparently cooked a full gourmet breakfast!? Was the drinking really that bad?
Wait, Seth and Ryan are looking very confused by this exuberant breakfast before school (they're all still so awake in the morning, it's weird) so it must not be a regular thing. In typical teenage-boy fashion, they just want their cereal and bagels.
We open at the Potter B&B, which makes a pleasant change. Joey's helping Pacey run lines for the play, but gets all "skrrrt, NO" when she sees that the next page requires her to get all swoony and lovey-dovey. Oh, sweetie. Just give it a few more episodes.
Democracy Diva: Is it too early to squee? I feel like it's too early to squee.
K: It's never too early to squee.
Democracy Diva: Is it too early to squee? I feel like it's too early to squee.
K: It's never too early to squee.
The happiest two seconds of the entire series happen when an EMT says Ezra's pulse is getting weaker. The only one who is sad about this is Aria. Her friends hold her back and tell her she shouldn't go with Ezra to the hospital because then the pesky cops will start asking her questions. Apparently, no one from the NYPD notices Aria hyperventilating after Ezra; they are busy questioning Noel Khan. Alison is on a fire escape, watching the ambulance ride by. A is-- TRUE STORY-- riding on the top of the ambulance like some kind of extra-deranged Spider-Man. I hate this show.
I wanted to start off this recap by reminding readers, or telling those new to The O.C., that you have to look at Season 3 as the darkness before the dawn. Hang in there, because Season 4 is going to be SO much better. Too bad Season 3 scared away all the viewers and the show got canceled after the fourth season.
The core four drive up to Newport Union High School. Seth exposits that this is Newport’s answer to public education. Marissa, you see, having been kicked out of Harbor and left penniless by Caleb’s death, is now forced to endure the indignity of PUBLIC school.
The core four drive up to Newport Union High School. Seth exposits that this is Newport’s answer to public education. Marissa, you see, having been kicked out of Harbor and left penniless by Caleb’s death, is now forced to endure the indignity of PUBLIC school.
We open at Capeside High. Dawson gushes to Joey about a particular type of camera and how it's a million times better than shooting video and blah blah, I honestly don't give a fuck about anything this dude has to say. They head to the film classroom to get the camera, and Kendra's there fiddling with it. She and Joey exchange some polite small talk, then Dawson tells her to hand over the camera. She's all "LOL NOPE" because she just checked it out for the next month. He gapes like a goldfish and Kendra says that she cleared it with the film teacher. Dawson wants to know when he'll get the camera, and she tells him that film making is an art that can't be rushed.
rom the previouslies, I can see that shit is going DOWN here at the O.C. Everyone is varying degrees of upset and angry and there was even a dramatic pool dive. And now it’s finale time.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one.
Sandy’s having his morning coffee, thinking about what kind of bagel he feels like this morning. Ryan’s brother, Trey, also recognized as “NOT Gavin DeGraw” walks into the kitchen. Today’s the day! Today’s the day Trey moves out of the Cohen commune and into his own place. Sandy’s all like “PRAISE! I have enough troubled youth on my hands, but call me if you need anything.” Trey’s like, “Nah, I’m ok. You guys have done too much for me already. Not many people would take in an ex-con; Ryan’s lucky to have you.”
BROTHER BURN.
BROTHER BURN.
Imprint room. Echo is in the chair and Paul is nearby A smarmy handler, who I probably just think is smarmy because he kind of looks like the guy who raped Sierra (S: He also wiggles his brows around all creepy-like when he talks), tells Echo she's got a big day. She gives the appropriate blank reaction and gets lowered for the imprint. Paul is worried about Echo glitching, as we're back in the regular timeline, probably soon after the Omega stuff. Topher is his usual, "nothing can go wrong! It'll be great!" self, and it's weird to have Paul being the voice of, "you sure?" and not Dominic or Boyd. Where's Boyd?
Sweeney: "WHERE'S BOYD?" INDEED. "Needs More Boyd" is a general note I have for most of always.
Sweeney: "WHERE'S BOYD?" INDEED. "Needs More Boyd" is a general note I have for most of always.
Trey apparently learned how to make breakfast in jail, so he's doing that now. He may be new to the Cohen household, but he must already know that every episode starts with breakfast. (S: Key part of his rehabilitation. Delicious breakfast foods are the best way to start a crime-free day.) Ryan comes into the kitchen, quickly followed by Seth and then Sandy. Kirsten shows up long enough to pick up a phone call from Julie and leaves again. Seth helpfully explains to Trey that Julie is Marissa's mom. "So, Ryan's mother-in-law?" Trey quips. Sandy is surprised that they are back on again and that he's the last to know. Ryan insists that nothing is going on for about one second, but then crumbles under the power of Sandy's eyebrows (I guess).
My history with the OC is that I watched obsessively in high school, but I can’t remember how many seasons I got through. All I really remember is rooting for Anna, and I’m pretty sure her time here has come and gone. (M: SADLY.) I do know the basics of the main drama-makers here.
We open at what I assume is their high school, though everyone is a good seven years older than I was in high school. They must be a bunch of idiots.
Seth is reminiscing about how last year was so much better, even though his list of last year includes “possible illegitimate daughter”, but I get too distracted by Seth’s sweater vest and the fact that I think Ryan is wearing bell-bottom jeans to really pay close attention.
We open at what I assume is their high school, though everyone is a good seven years older than I was in high school. They must be a bunch of idiots.
Seth is reminiscing about how last year was so much better, even though his list of last year includes “possible illegitimate daughter”, but I get too distracted by Seth’s sweater vest and the fact that I think Ryan is wearing bell-bottom jeans to really pay close attention.
We open with someone knocking on the window of Ryan’s bedroom; it’s Seth, pulling the awful “wakey wakey” routine that is just giving me flashbacks to my mum on school mornings, or the cleaning lady at uni bursting in at ungodly hours. Seth reminds him that when Summer left to go to Italy he refused to let him fester away in his room, and that he’s only returning the favour. Ryan reminds him that no, he didn’t, but Seth is having none of it. He’s helping anyway.
Mari: There are very, very few instances in which someone waking you up is helping, but okay Seth. Continue.
Sweeney: Unless the building is on fire, you're not helping.
Mari: There are very, very few instances in which someone waking you up is helping, but okay Seth. Continue.
Sweeney: Unless the building is on fire, you're not helping.
Hello fellow Traumateers! It gives me the absolute wiggins to get to do an OC post for Snark Squad because I love both so much. And someday, at a Snark Squad convention with plenty of wine, I will share my embarrassing 13 year old fangirl stories with you all. (M: Um, I cannot wait.) (S: Cosign. You're off to a great start.) But for now, lets start the episode!
We open with some previouslies, that are mostly a lot of uncomfortable conversations and moments (Seth, no! Sandy, no!). This drops us off at the best part of any episode, the morning breakfast scene! Ryan walks into the house to find Seth on the couch in a Robe Cocoon of Sadness. Seth admits that he has been up all night watching movies. "What's the plural of Matrix?" he asks.
We open with some previouslies, that are mostly a lot of uncomfortable conversations and moments (Seth, no! Sandy, no!). This drops us off at the best part of any episode, the morning breakfast scene! Ryan walks into the house to find Seth on the couch in a Robe Cocoon of Sadness. Seth admits that he has been up all night watching movies. "What's the plural of Matrix?" he asks.
After some scandalous “Previously Ons,” we open on Sandy driving up to the Cohen supermansion. Chirping birds quietly assure us it is, indeed, morning, despite the fact that it could also be, you know, noon. In the magical kitchen, where Ryan is fully dressed and studying for a test, Seth wanders in in a bathrobe and wants to discuss his love life. Ryan displays more of the surliness I would expect from a teenager in the morning, but this seems to be more due to him WANTING to study versus the horrific reality of it being morning and ANOTHER GODDAMN DAY.
For those following along at home, I was the kid who liked to remind everyone that morning and mourning were homonyms FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
For those following along at home, I was the kid who liked to remind everyone that morning and mourning were homonyms FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
In the previouslies, we're treated to a bunch of clips of Mary and Jessica to let us know that this episode is going to be suuuuuuper fun. When we're done with previouslies, Dean's in the Bromobile, which now has new plates. Because that TOTALLY makes it less obvious. Sam phones to say that there's a cop car outside their motel. He heaves a sigh of relief when it leaves. Sam asks if Dean's got anything, but LOL NOPE because Sam's got him searching a massive area. Sam - books and Filofax of Shadows open to relevant entries - reveals that they're hunting a djinn. Dean gushes about how hot Barbara Eden was, and Sam eyerolls before saying that djinns like to hole up in ruins.
Dean stands next to the Bromobile by an underpass and phones Ellen in a panic. Sam's been missing for days, there's no sign of him, and Dean's freaking the fuck out because it's like Papa Winchester all over again. Ellen hasn't heard anything. Dean's phone beeps and he looks at the screen to see an incoming call from Sam. He answers, then tells Sam to calm down because he's on his way.
Crappy motel. Sam hangs up the phone and stares at his bloody knuckles. Dean Bromobiles his way to Sam. He reaches the motel and rushes to Sam's room. He panics a little when he finds blood all over Sam's shirt, but Sam assures him it's not his.
Crappy motel. Sam hangs up the phone and stares at his bloody knuckles. Dean Bromobiles his way to Sam. He reaches the motel and rushes to Sam's room. He panics a little when he finds blood all over Sam's shirt, but Sam assures him it's not his.