After the previouslies, we start off with a shot of the Cohen car filled with food. Sandy “Eyebrows” Cohen makes a crack about feeding Kirsten's dad to get his love, and while that probably won't work on Mr. Evil Corporate man, that would definitely work on me. Just sayin'. (S: Cosign.)(L: And another +1 makes it a party.)
Kirsten's dad (Caleb) enters and cheerfully calls himself the devil so we don't have to. Outside, Seth and Ryan talk about Caleb, and how he's Mr. Big Money. Seth points out that he, like Ryan, came from humble beginnings and they'd probably hit it off.
Hello, Snark Nation! It's a pleasure to be covering this episode of The O.C., one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure shows. I had pictures of Seth Cohen on my wall and the show's soundtracks playing on a constant loop throughout my high school career, so I feel qualified to present you with this recap.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
Who gets the puppet episode? THIS GIRL.
I'm pretty pumped, but first, I wouldn't be a true Snark Lady if I didn't say that puppets will always and forever remind me of Goosebumps, and that one time we thought it'd be an awesome idea to cover all three Night of the Living Dummy books. (It was an awesome idea.)
Sweeney: Night of the Living Dummy is Traumaland's One True Puppet.
Lor: Always and forever. On to the episode: While the screen is still black, some jaunty, cartoonish music greets us. It's coming from a TV show that features (BIG REVEAL) puppets!
I'm pretty pumped, but first, I wouldn't be a true Snark Lady if I didn't say that puppets will always and forever remind me of Goosebumps, and that one time we thought it'd be an awesome idea to cover all three Night of the Living Dummy books. (It was an awesome idea.)
Sweeney: Night of the Living Dummy is Traumaland's One True Puppet.
Lor: Always and forever. On to the episode: While the screen is still black, some jaunty, cartoonish music greets us. It's coming from a TV show that features (BIG REVEAL) puppets!
Lying lying credits on fire and Winterfell’s inexplicable forever smoke kick us off.
After, people are running through the woods. At first I thought a playful thing was happening, and then I realized that Ramsay Snow, the only character more sick and twisted than the Little Shit King, is among this frolicking party. Then I realized that the lead runner is a girl in a pretty white virginal dress, screaming and crying because Ramsay and a woman I don’t recall seeing are hunting her, Most Dangerous Game style, with Theon behind them.
After, people are running through the woods. At first I thought a playful thing was happening, and then I realized that Ramsay Snow, the only character more sick and twisted than the Little Shit King, is among this frolicking party. Then I realized that the lead runner is a girl in a pretty white virginal dress, screaming and crying because Ramsay and a woman I don’t recall seeing are hunting her, Most Dangerous Game style, with Theon behind them.
Previously: Keith and Lamb team up to solve the case of the E-String Strangler, who doesn’t actually strangle, but definitely impacts tourism. — Clash of the Tritons Democracy Diva: I’m...
My lovely closed caption tells me we are starting this episode with "disco woman vocalizing." Lorne is strutting down the hallways of Wolfram & Hart trying to sell The Grapes of Wrath in space to someone named Jerry. He hangs up that call and his assistant hands him another cell phone. Lorne tells this person that Big B (Jerry Bruckheimer then, yeah?) (K: YUP.) wants to know more details. He keeps up the showbiz talk until he finally makes it to Harmony's desk, greeting her warmly and complimenting her dress and hair. She does look lovely in pink.
Sweeney: I adore the fact that a Lorne/Harmony friendship is clearly a thing. I'm already completely sold on this episode.
Sweeney: I adore the fact that a Lorne/Harmony friendship is clearly a thing. I'm already completely sold on this episode.
While this blog changes my opinions of everything and also I find it challenging to rank episodes because I love every episode in this season, I flailed a little when I first realized this one was mine and I've gotten pumped about it every time since. Fingers crossed that it's as glorious as I remember.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
The camera pans across a bunch of fancy cars and one fancy motorbike. Fred's voice from offscreen tells us that Angel's idea for a picnic was excellent. But her tone changes to one of relief as she finishes scanning Wesley for bugs and declares them all to be free from listening devices. Gunn says it's weird to be acting this way, but Angel assures them that it's necessary as there are tons of employees who want them dead. Man, that's a fun company they've taken over! Fred defends their new coworkers, and Wes snaps that maybe Whedon Hat Trick isn't as trustworthy as she thinks. Fred gives him major side-eye while saying that she knows WHT isn't evil.
Sweeney: Jealousy is an ugly look on everyone. I fear it's going to be worn a bit too much this season.
Sweeney: Jealousy is an ugly look on everyone. I fear it's going to be worn a bit too much this season.
The stare down from the end of last episode continues. I wanted to think that Lorne was in the background this whole time playing with his Magic 8 Ball, but a wider shot reveals he's holding a crossbow. Damn.
Cordevilia asks Angel what finally tipped him off to the evil. He says it was a slip of the tongue as earlier, Cordelia called her demon spawn, "my sweet" which was apparently a phrase she used while she was talking to Angelus via head-intercom. Cordelia's all, "SERIOUSLY?" because considering that she was wearing a giant I'M FUCKING EVIL outfit, and generally acting shady as shit, saying a few simple words seems like a lousy way to go down.
Cordevilia asks Angel what finally tipped him off to the evil. He says it was a slip of the tongue as earlier, Cordelia called her demon spawn, "my sweet" which was apparently a phrase she used while she was talking to Angelus via head-intercom. Cordelia's all, "SERIOUSLY?" because considering that she was wearing a giant I'M FUCKING EVIL outfit, and generally acting shady as shit, saying a few simple words seems like a lousy way to go down.
We open to a trio of nerds (not THAT Trio, thank goodness), rating their female classmates based on hotness. Apparently, Veronica's detective skills up her from an 8.5 to a 9, according to Dweeb #1. How empowering! Troy and Veronica do a walk-and-talk, which hilariously features V assuming T's weekend plans revolve around autoeroticism. He's actually just got a boner for boats, like apparently all wealthy southern California boys on television in the early aughts.
They exchange something like eight hundred thousand flirty glances as Troy departs.
They exchange something like eight hundred thousand flirty glances as Troy departs.
Do you have any idea how many times my fingers inadvertently wrote "Benedict Cumberbatch" while trying to write the name of this episode? (It was two. Which was still two too many, really.)
ANYWAY. We start in the lobby of the Hyperion, immediately after the end of the last episode. Fred says that Angel's still not answering his phone, and the Fang Gang debate whether they should go out looking for him. They're saved the trouble though when Angel walks in the door, limping on account of all the bullet wounds. The gang help him to a chair, and ask if Connor's responsible for his injuries. He informs them that Connor's name is Steven now, and that no, he wasn't responsible for the injuries. Fred asks where he is, and Angel's all "*shrug* He'll find me if he needs me." The gang are all "Um, wow. Way to parent," but Angel is familiar with the ways of Traumaland and knows that neglect is the best medicine.
ANYWAY. We start in the lobby of the Hyperion, immediately after the end of the last episode. Fred says that Angel's still not answering his phone, and the Fang Gang debate whether they should go out looking for him. They're saved the trouble though when Angel walks in the door, limping on account of all the bullet wounds. The gang help him to a chair, and ask if Connor's responsible for his injuries. He informs them that Connor's name is Steven now, and that no, he wasn't responsible for the injuries. Fred asks where he is, and Angel's all "*shrug* He'll find me if he needs me." The gang are all "Um, wow. Way to parent," but Angel is familiar with the ways of Traumaland and knows that neglect is the best medicine.
We open at the Hyperion. Gunn and Fred are going through files, and it's awkward because there are a bunch that Wes was meant to be taking care of, but not so much any more. Lorne walks in, and asks how they're going before saying that it's important to keep busy and throw yourself into your work at times like these. He looks pointedly at the stairs as he says this. Fred reminds him that Angel's lost the only child he'll ever have, and Lorne says that he knows, but wishes Angel would talk to them.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
Our tragically abbreviated journey begins with stock war footage. There are explosions and bullets whizzing by as a band of futuristic aircraft gun down a group of soldiers. Welcome to Firefly everyone!
A man in a brown coat makes his way down a hill and safely into a bunker. Inside, he's addressed by another soldier as "sergeant." Sergeant Brown Coat is told that command is holding air support, but as we just saw, they could use some air support ASAP. He barks out a few orders right before a big blast makes everyone look at each other all, "we're totally gonna die, aren't we?"
Sweeney: It's a Joss Whedon show, so I'm sure some of you are correct!
A man in a brown coat makes his way down a hill and safely into a bunker. Inside, he's addressed by another soldier as "sergeant." Sergeant Brown Coat is told that command is holding air support, but as we just saw, they could use some air support ASAP. He barks out a few orders right before a big blast makes everyone look at each other all, "we're totally gonna die, aren't we?"
Sweeney: It's a Joss Whedon show, so I'm sure some of you are correct!
Chances are, dearest of Traumateers, that you've heard the news. No, not about Syria. No, not about that guy sentenced to 1,000 years in prison. No, not about that school stabbing. No, not about Miley Cyrus. FOCUS.
We're clearly talking about Fifty Shades casting news! I know, I know. If you're like us, you've been ignoring the early news about this movie, hoping that someone, somewhere would wisen up and realize there is no actual way you can film a tampon scene. Rumors swirled, Brett Easton Ellis plugged for his own involvement, a director was chosen, and still we hoped against hope that it was all a joke.
We're clearly talking about Fifty Shades casting news! I know, I know. If you're like us, you've been ignoring the early news about this movie, hoping that someone, somewhere would wisen up and realize there is no actual way you can film a tampon scene. Rumors swirled, Brett Easton Ellis plugged for his own involvement, a director was chosen, and still we hoped against hope that it was all a joke.
We open at Lindsey's apartment. His alarm clock goes off, and he stares at it for a minute before turning it off with his stump. He shaves and gets dressed before putting on his prosthetic hand. He opens the cupboard to get a pre-tied tie, and stares sadly at his guitar. I know Lindsey's the evil lawyer guy and all, but this is kind of giving me feels, you guys. Lindsey needs a hug or something. Although to be fair, it's possible that I'm being manipulated by the Oboe of Sad Times...
Lorraine: It's totally the Oboe. I mean, not having a hand is sympathy-inducing, but also, Lindsey lost it because he was being an evil douche nozzle, so, yeah.
Lorraine: It's totally the Oboe. I mean, not having a hand is sympathy-inducing, but also, Lindsey lost it because he was being an evil douche nozzle, so, yeah.