We open in space. We zoom past the Moon to Earth. A narrator tells us that in the last days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. Except that everyone forgot because people are dumb. Well, one person remembered. We zoom in on Wilf(!!!!!!), watching happily as a Salvation Army band plays Christmas carols. He hears a maniacal laugh in his head, and shakes himself.
Kara is wearing flannel over her Supergirl costume and eating a donut on the couch so that her brooding is super telegraphed. She's watching coverage of a bank robbery she tried to stop, but people are still pretty wary of her after she murdered alcohol bottles with peanuts, or whatever. (S: And wore extra cute clothes!) (C: Boo the lady with the fashion sense.)
At Cat Co, Cat is having a bad day because "Sandy Bullock" stole her exercise machine and also because National City is being slow to forgive Supergirl and the crime rate is up.
At Cat Co, Cat is having a bad day because "Sandy Bullock" stole her exercise machine and also because National City is being slow to forgive Supergirl and the crime rate is up.
The previouslies show Tommen agreeing to be in the Cult Miltant, Cersei telling Jaime that he doesn't need to stick around because she's gonna have a trial by combat and she's already got a FrankenMountain for that, The Blackfish sassing Jaime, Sexy Septon getting killed and the Hound getting angry, and Arya getting stabbed a bunch.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Thanks for your patience, Snark Nation! Mari is traveling around the world, recruiting soldiers for the Great War to come, so Catherine and I are going to finish this season up on our own and probably hold each other while we sob. Right? Right.
Catherine: It's so likely that I'm upgrading it from a probably to a definitely. Get ready to emotionally suffer!
Catherine: It's so likely that I'm upgrading it from a probably to a definitely. Get ready to emotionally suffer!
The previouslies are a warning to the audience: you definitely don't remember any of this stuff. Theon's dad and sister! Lord Karstark getting beheaded by a still-alive Robb! Bran knows a really smart bird!
Credits take us to Kings Landing, and then throw PYKE at us. Then Flayed Winterfaux, The Wall That Killed Our Dreams, Braavos, and Meereen. Yay, no Dorne! This episode is off to a great start.
Credits take us to Kings Landing, and then throw PYKE at us. Then Flayed Winterfaux, The Wall That Killed Our Dreams, Braavos, and Meereen. Yay, no Dorne! This episode is off to a great start.
The previouslies is basically a montage of the boys dying a million times, followed by a reminder that the Samulet and its God-finding powers are a thing, so clearly we're in for tons of fun.
We open at the Motel of the Week. Dean's face down in the pillow, surrounded by empty beer cans. He wakes to find two balaclava-wearing guys pointing guns at him and Sam. Sam looks freaked. Dean's all "Must be Tuesday" about it. The guys do the typical villain here's-my-motive-ing (Dean started the Apocalypse, Sam's a freak blah blah whatever), and Dean realises that he knows them - the guys are hunters. Sam tries to explain, but gets shot in the chest for his trouble.
We open at the Motel of the Week. Dean's face down in the pillow, surrounded by empty beer cans. He wakes to find two balaclava-wearing guys pointing guns at him and Sam. Sam looks freaked. Dean's all "Must be Tuesday" about it. The guys do the typical villain here's-my-motive-ing (Dean started the Apocalypse, Sam's a freak blah blah whatever), and Dean realises that he knows them - the guys are hunters. Sam tries to explain, but gets shot in the chest for his trouble.
Yes, I totally pilfered that title from the Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman book. Shut up.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
This episode is off to a great start because the title is Bad Wolf which means we kick off the drinking game BEFORE we start watching. This pleases me greatly.
We start 100 years after the Simon Pegg episode. The Doctor wakes up in a tiny spinny elevator. He falls out and a girl with pigtail buns helps him up as he stumbles about, terribly confused by how he got there. Pigtails explains that he's been "chosen" to be in some sort of Big Brother type house. The Doctor is summoned into "the diary room" where he sits down in a big red chair with a giant case of "Are you fucking kidding me?" which is a fair reaction.
We start 100 years after the Simon Pegg episode. The Doctor wakes up in a tiny spinny elevator. He falls out and a girl with pigtail buns helps him up as he stumbles about, terribly confused by how he got there. Pigtails explains that he's been "chosen" to be in some sort of Big Brother type house. The Doctor is summoned into "the diary room" where he sits down in a big red chair with a giant case of "Are you fucking kidding me?" which is a fair reaction.
The Evil Internal Affairs Officer we're supposed to suddenly care about in the season finale is going through pictures of the Halliwell sisters. Every time he flips to another picture the music goes DUN. Sparks fly out of his fireplace and materialize into a hooded figure. Evil IA drops to a knee and greets "Tempus." There was a bad guy on Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman named Tempus. I'd rather be watching that.
Tempus tells Evil IA that he was sent as a gift, as he dramatically removes his hood. Evil IA says he doesn't need help defeating the Charmed Ones. Tempus is all, "PFFT," on account of how the girls have defeated so many bad guys this season with their spectacular squinting, reciting, rushing around and dumb luck.
Tempus tells Evil IA that he was sent as a gift, as he dramatically removes his hood. Evil IA says he doesn't need help defeating the Charmed Ones. Tempus is all, "PFFT," on account of how the girls have defeated so many bad guys this season with their spectacular squinting, reciting, rushing around and dumb luck.
Rich people stuff like large lawns and horseback riding: a woman rides up on a horse and calls out to a man named Jack that she'll be done shortly and he should behave himself. Rich Lady (Margaret) blows him a kiss and rides off. Jack is sitting with a group of his buds and they joke about not actually ever playing tennis, and just sitting around day drinking. It's all fun until one of his bros sees Margaret's horse, suspiciously sans Margaret.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
Are we done with season 1 yet? Almost? Cool.
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
Somewhere in San Fran, a woman is clutching a paper bag and walking nervously to her car. Once she gets there, she drops the bag and cuts her hand on a broken bottle. A hand on her shoulder makes her jump, but she's relieved when she sees that it's Leo. I guess she didn't first hear his TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE Whitelighter sound effects. Leo tells Daisy to stay strong for a little longer, until she's safe. Daisy is worried about a certain "he" with lots of scary powers. Leo heals her hand and she's shocked by it. He tells her she's got a special future and he brought her to San Francisco because he's got powerful friends who can help her. Also, the Charmed Ones are here. (He probably meant them, but whatevs.)
We're treated to another round of Carry On Wayward Son because obviously, then we see Sam's dead body lying on a bed, Dean standing over him. Let's just go ahead and do this, shall we?
Bobby walks in with a bucket of chicken, and tells Dean he has to eat something. Dean disagrees and swigs from a flask. Bobby suggests burying Sam, but Dean won't have a bar of it. Bobby begs for Dean's help dealing with the whole world ending thing, but Dean yells "Well, then let it end!". He's sacrificed enough and he's done. He tells Bobby to leave. Bobby sighs and heads out, telling Dean he knows where to find him. Dean looks back at Sam's corpse, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Bobby walks in with a bucket of chicken, and tells Dean he has to eat something. Dean disagrees and swigs from a flask. Bobby suggests burying Sam, but Dean won't have a bar of it. Bobby begs for Dean's help dealing with the whole world ending thing, but Dean yells "Well, then let it end!". He's sacrificed enough and he's done. He tells Bobby to leave. Bobby sighs and heads out, telling Dean he knows where to find him. Dean looks back at Sam's corpse, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Halliwell Manor. Piper and Prue rush around trying to locate things like lip gloss and a plane ticket-- things that Phoebe has all arranged in front of her, perched up on a table in the hall. She grabs each item and concentrates. When she does this with the ticket, she has a premonition of Piper watching a plane take off. If that's SFO, I'd really love to know how she knew from outside that one of the planes taking off was hers.
Phoebe snaps out of it and her sisters discover that she has the very items they are looking for. She tells them the wonderful news that she was trying to have a premonition on command and it worked.
Phoebe snaps out of it and her sisters discover that she has the very items they are looking for. She tells them the wonderful news that she was trying to have a premonition on command and it worked.
The Liars are gathered in the Hastings House watching the news coverage on the eye witness that has come forward in Wilden's case. The doorbell rings and Spencer goes to answer it while the remaining girls exposit that Travis is the cute eye witness. Hanna is legit worried that he might withdraw his testimony and Aria offers, "he's quite the dancer."
Sweeney: Aria, that is relevant to nothing at all. Your inability to differentiate the pertinence of information is part of why you never definitively solve anything ever.
Sweeney: Aria, that is relevant to nothing at all. Your inability to differentiate the pertinence of information is part of why you never definitively solve anything ever.
We open at a cool looking floating space station that looks like it has lots of TV monitors on it. So basically my dream home. Inside, there's a carny guy in a tall hat telling passerby that he'll convince them to believe in aliens once they see what's inside his freak show circus tent. The Mad Hatter says it will haunt their dreams and harrow their very soul.
Lorraine: I love the idea that humans are now in space, and people are still debating the existence of aliens. "Yep. They're here.... somewhere..."
Sweeney: LOOK HARDER, HUMANS! Look harder.
Lorraine: I love the idea that humans are now in space, and people are still debating the existence of aliens. "Yep. They're here.... somewhere..."
Sweeney: LOOK HARDER, HUMANS! Look harder.