Murder Warehouse. You can tell by the lighting. Fish is brought in and strapped to a table. She laughs a little even when the transport baddies introduce her to Bob, her torturer. Bob even does a little evil rubber glove snapping, because we need at least one cliche in the first minute, amIright?
Sweeney: We watch a lot of TV - this show is just trying to helpfully assure us that we're on the right show.
Mari: Jada Pinkett Smith and a cliche? Yep. Gotham.
It's same night as the events of the S1 finale and Sarah is running in the rain (though it wasn't raining then). (L: It started raining because she's distraught and TV weather is effected by the MC's emotions. Everyone knows that.) (S: True. We learned that lesson watching Ever After - her mood didn't call for rain until the very end of that episode.) She leaves Felix a voicemail explaining that Mrs. S and Kira are missing. She ducks into a small, empty diner, where the proprietor hooks her up with free tea. She tries to call the other pink clone phones, but they're disconnected. She finally tries Paul and leaves him a voicemail that she needs to talk immediately about her missing family. Seconds later, she gets a return call from his number, but it's Rachel.
After the previouslies show us Sarah trying to process the, "HEY THE GIRL WHO TRIED TO KILL YOU ISN'T JUST YOUR CLONE BUT YOUR CLONE TWIN!" bomb, she's tucking her sleeping daughter into bed. Downstairs, Sarah's getting ready to let her biological mother see said crazypants. Mrs. S isn't sure that any of this womb-providing and womb-sharing constitutes good reason for the serious endangerment of this little get-together, but Sarah's not hearing any of this. Sarah and the bio-mom head to the Basement of Don't Go In There: Canadian Edition, where Helena is tied to a post. Bio-mom pulls Sarah aside to say that she needs to speak with Sarah somewhere privately so that she can share something with her. As soon as Helena catches sight of this black woman claiming to be her birth mother she starts laughing because she's crazy and racist. Always a classy combo.
Angelus is strolling the halls of Brooding HQ, and is bummed when he finds Lilah's corpse, because that's less fun. He feeds on her anyway, and is still feeding when Wes and Gunn round the corner. Gunn throws his weapon with terrible aim, given the range. Angelus drops Lilah and flees through the window. Wes's face falls when he takes in the sight of dead Lilah.
Gunn goes back to the lobby where the others are tending to a wound in Cordelia's leg. Gunn informs them that Lilah's dead. Cordelia gets shifty eyes and ominously announces that it's started. Electric Cellos.
Gunn goes back to the lobby where the others are tending to a wound in Cordelia's leg. Gunn informs them that Lilah's dead. Cordelia gets shifty eyes and ominously announces that it's started. Electric Cellos.
I'm going to try very hard not to get angry during this epilogue because (1) - We have a whole week's worth of series ending posts to get through and I probably have to ration my anger. You know, plan this wisely and avoid an ulcer or drowning my liver or whatever and (2) - THIS IS THE END, FOR REAL. These are the last words to read, EVER. This is really a celebration, so HAPPY EPILOGUE, EVERYONE!
Sweeney: HAPPY EPILOGUE TO YOU TOO, LOR!
Sweeney: HAPPY EPILOGUE TO YOU TOO, LOR!
It's the last fucking chapter and I'm supposed to celebrate, but it's also my last opportunity to make sure you understand that ELJ has the worst chapter transitions ever. (And the worst everything ever, but one step at a time, OK?) The only occasions on which Ana doesn't begin the chapter waking up are those that we begin immediately after the end of the last chapter, in a place where a chapter break makes zero sense. This is of the latter variety.
A consistent feature of both chapter beginnings -- and also all the time always -- is Ana asking a lot of really pointless questions. I spend a lot of time in my own head so I'm not one to judge the idea of a very active inner monologue. But what if my inner monologue consisted only of questions?
A consistent feature of both chapter beginnings -- and also all the time always -- is Ana asking a lot of really pointless questions. I spend a lot of time in my own head so I'm not one to judge the idea of a very active inner monologue. But what if my inner monologue consisted only of questions?
What's this? A TMYK post? MADNESS. Right, so, for those of you who are new around here, this is a thing we used to do but randomly stopped doing for no reason other than time/laziness a few months ago.
Lorraine: I'm gonna go ahead and defend us and say it was more a time issue. No one who reads this site can accuse us of being lazy. I mean, we are sometimes, but you guys wouldn't know it.
Sweeney: That's totally true. I was doing the whole self-deprecating thing, but now that you mention it, yeah, we put an insane amount of time into this blog.
Lorraine: I'm gonna go ahead and defend us and say it was more a time issue. No one who reads this site can accuse us of being lazy. I mean, we are sometimes, but you guys wouldn't know it.
Sweeney: That's totally true. I was doing the whole self-deprecating thing, but now that you mention it, yeah, we put an insane amount of time into this blog.
It's time for a super epic DESTINY'S CHILD DANCE PARTY. Why? It's Lorraine's birthday! I know you all have important things to do with your lives or whatever. LOLJK. I actually know that you all come here to avoid ever doing important things with your lives. Or because having Destiny's Child Dance Parties with us is basically the most important and best and most awesome way you could possibly spend your time. Any of these things.
Since Lorraine is one of my favorite human beings on this planet or any other that I am aware of, and because without her my favorite thing on the whole internet would not exist, she gets an entire celebratory post and you should join the fun.
Since Lorraine is one of my favorite human beings on this planet or any other that I am aware of, and because without her my favorite thing on the whole internet would not exist, she gets an entire celebratory post and you should join the fun.
We've complained plenty about season four. I mean, nitpicking is what we're all about, because it's funny, but season 4 has been tough to get through so I know the straight complaining may have increased lately. That all said, I can't believe that we're in fact almost done with the season. Someone mentioned in the comments a bit ago that we've passed the half way point for the entire series. CRAZY, YOU GUYS.
Sweeney: Halfway. As in, like, we'll finish it one day? Does not compute. O_o
Lor: I KNOW.
Sweeney: Halfway. As in, like, we'll finish it one day? Does not compute. O_o
Lor: I KNOW.
Firstly, Segue Magic it is! I think that calls for a dance party!
Secondly, I realized I talk very little about why I love the Chronicles of Narnia series, though I do have about 20 minutes of cut material about how much Lucy Penvensie rocks, the importance of reading in the publishing order, and how much the secondary characters add to the series. So, you know, I have reasons, I promise!
Secondly, I realized I talk very little about why I love the Chronicles of Narnia series, though I do have about 20 minutes of cut material about how much Lucy Penvensie rocks, the importance of reading in the publishing order, and how much the secondary characters add to the series. So, you know, I have reasons, I promise!
Buffy is doing her version of the "previouslies" for the Scooby Gang, as this episode starts right after the last. The more I think about the whole Buffy in the Initiative development, the more unlikely it seems to me that they brought her in against their better judgement and then 10 minutes later were all LOL. JAYKAY! She's a liability and we're gonna kill her. But that is indeed what happened.
K: Agreed. It's totally stupid. Unless the whole thing was an attempt to pump her for information about what the Slayer is/does, and then when the Evil Bitch Monster realised that she couldn't chop off bits of Buffy and put them into Adam, she put her in the Too Hard Basket?
K: Agreed. It's totally stupid. Unless the whole thing was an attempt to pump her for information about what the Slayer is/does, and then when the Evil Bitch Monster realised that she couldn't chop off bits of Buffy and put them into Adam, she put her in the Too Hard Basket?
Previously: We met Brienne and Margaery, Tyrion proves his self-preservation skills, Arya thought on her feet like a direboss, and Lor introduced the Goblet of Win. — Garden of Bones...